Because it feels wonderful to be liberated from ones crippling prejudices.

Let me start with a true story

An enlightening TED Talk by Julia Galef mentions the case of a senior officer in the French Army. When it was discovered that "someone" was selling military secrets to Germany, they investigated and found this officer guilty. Though his handwriting didn't quite match, though they couldn't find any evidence at his house and even when the leakage of secrets continued after his arrest, they were all convinced that he was the man. (He could be an expert at changing his handwriting/He could have hidden the evidence well/He could have passed the mantle on.. these were the justifications given for the chinks in the prosecution's armor). Why was we convicted even with such glaring inconsistencies in the case ?- He was a Jew and the French Army at that time was famously anti Semitic.

The most interesting part of this story- His fellow officers were not setting him up. They were not intentionally framing him. They GENUINELY BELIEVED that the case against him was strong and that he was guilty even when the evidence told otherwise. And the courts followed suit- GUILTY as charged.

This is a case of what Psychologists call "MOTIVATED REASONING." This is when our unconscious motivations, our desires and fears, shape the way we receive and interpret information.

Does the information or argument agree with our biases? Let them in, Support them, Celebrate them....
NO? disregard it, delete it, defame it or distort it.

Our judgment is strongly influenced by which side we want to win. YOU ONLY SEE WHAT YOUR PREJUDICE WANTS YOU TO SEE. Our mind even filters out information that we don't like to entertain. What's scary about motivated reasoning is how unconscious it is. We can think we're being objective and fair-minded and still wind up being totally biased and one sided.

So you are 100% sure that you are right and you alone are right. And so is your detractor. And both could be HORRENDOUSLY WRONG!!!!!!!!

How can you get out of this serious Psychological trap?

1) Read arguments that disagree with your views. Instead of making counter points, try analyzing why the point could be valid.
2) Try debating with someone by defending the very idea that you disagree with.
3) Instead of trying to make your idea win or another lose, try to see what's really there as honestly and accurately as you can, even if it's not convenient or pleasant.

This is very important. BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS USUALLY LANGUISHING SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE EXTREMITIES.

Is this position a great place to be in ? No way! You will be beaten black and blue by both parties. But eventually you will feel really good.

Because it feels wonderful to be liberated from ones crippling prejudices.