The Beauty Lie We’ve Been Told—And How It Affects Our Confidence

"I've never felt beautiful in my entire life."

When my mother said those words to me, my heart shattered.

She was a beautiful woman—hardworking, elegant, stylish, intelligent. But she never felt beautiful. She never felt enough.

I kept wondering—where did that belief come from?

One reason, I think, was my grandmother. She was strict, always pointing out every little flaw. But I also remember my mom flipping through fashion magazines, sighing, and saying, "She’s so perfect, and I’m not."

Even when I showed her how that “perfection” was just Photoshop, she never let go of the belief that she wasn’t good enough.

And then, one day, I realized—I was following in her footsteps.

Without even noticing, I had inherited the same critical voice.

I’d stare in the mirror, analyzing every little detail—my skin, my hair, everything. And then I read something that shook me to my core.

I learned how mothers criticizing their own looks can plant the same insecurities in their daughters.

I learned that seven-year-olds were starting unnecessary, health-threatening diets because of what they heard at home.

That teenagers weren’t just overusing Instagram filters—they wanted to turn those filters into reality with plastic surgery.

That some women, despite being naturally beautiful, never felt it—so they entered an endless cycle of procedures, until one day, they looked in the mirror and didn’t even recognize themselves.

I knew a girl like that. She was stunning. But she never believed it. Now, I wouldn’t even recognize her on the street.

That was my wake-up call.

I became hyper-aware of the words I used in front of my daughter. I want to make sure she doesn’t inherit these same insecurities—passed down through generations of women.

So when she puts on her Snow White dress and says, "Now I’m beautiful," I remind her:

"You are always beautiful."

When I lived in Milan, I applied for an internship at Diane von Furstenberg’s showroom.

The “payment” was a piece of clothing.

But there was a problem—everything was designed for 180 cm (5’11”) tall models.

I’m 160 cm (5’3”). Nothing fit me properly.

And that’s when it hit me: clothes aren’t designed for women. They’re designed for models.

That realization planted a seed in me.

It’s actually why I left fashion photography.

Not because of the low pay. Not because of the difficult career path.

I could handle that.

But because every time I walked onto a set, it felt like I was telling women: You’re not enough unless you buy this. Unless you look like this.

No matter how hard I tried to shift the message, it always felt the same.

Because the truth is, fashion and beauty are industries.

Industries built to make money.

And their marketing machine has been running so powerfully for so long that we’ve internalized their definition of beauty as our own.

Even though the industry is trying to be more inclusive, I still don’t quite see myself in these trends—especially the unisex one. And while I know many brands genuinely want to empower women, a lot of these inclusivity efforts still feel… forced.

That’s why I left.

I decided to use my expertise to help women feel seen and beautiful. Not by industry standards, but by their own.

You wouldn’t believe how many coaches told me not to talk about this.

They said, "Making women feel beautiful will happen naturally through your work—when they start showing up on camera."

That’s partially true.

But this message has been burning inside me for so long, I had to let it out.

This photo is one of the very few my mom ever liked of herself.

She was truly my most difficult client—always chasing a perfection standard that doesn’t exist.

And that still breaks my heart.

So as cliché as it sounds, I want to say this to every woman reading this:

You are beautiful. Just as you are.

And we owe it to ourselves to notice it more often.

Because when we do, it frees us.

From so many worries. From so many limiting beliefs. From so many chains we place on ourselves.

And as female entrepreneurs, this shift in how we see ourselves changes everything.

When we stop overthinking every post, every appearance, and simply show up as our authentic selves, that's when we truly connect with our audience and our ideal clients.

? Your real, unfiltered self is what resonates most. ?

When you embrace that authenticity, it becomes the foundation of a visual brand that stands out and speaks for itself.

No more second-guessing. No more hiding behind filters. Just you—confidently showing up, attracting the right people, and letting your brand shine.

So today, I challenge you:

? What if you started seeing yourself through a kinder lens? ? What if, instead of looking for flaws, you looked for beauty?

Because once we start seeing it in ourselves, we give others permission to do the same.