Beauty

How do we navigate such turbulent, divisive times from an awake, open heart? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself more and more as I experience how polarized our world is becoming. Of course I have my own views about the various hot topics of our times, but even more important to me is finding a way to both stand up for what I believe in while still, somehow, staying in relationship with those who see things differently. The more we exclude other points of view, the more entrenched we become in our own position and the more divides we create in the world. All of which will further amplify the dynamics we are currently experiencing.

In search of being in community with others who are also wrestling with this, I signed up for Tara Brach’s course 2025: A Year of Courageous Loving – weekly reflections and meditations, and period talks and Q&As, about embracing our inner life, loving without holding back in relationships, widening our circle of compassion, and living wholeheartedly. (If this resonates with you, you can still sign up.) She held a kick-off call this week where she introduced four principles for living from a place of love:

1. Have a way to remember what matters most – what our heart cares about
2. Find the courage to disarm and be vulnerable – to feel your feelings with gentleness and kindness
3. See the goodness in others and feel our shared humanity – everyone years to love and be loved
4. Respond with love – be a mirror of goodness

These steps are easy to share but not always easy to live. Many questions came up on the call about how to work with anger, and what to do when we feel aversion to certain people. The answer is NOT to push the anger aside or try to force yourself to welcome someone you can’t open to, but to be kind to yourself – to allow yourself to feel the feelings you’re feeling, to acknowledge the underlying longing, and to bring compassion to the places within us that feel hurt or stuck. In Tara’s words, vulnerability and deep caring is the beginning of change.

Change is not possible from a place of fear – we go into a protective, defensive mode, armouring ourselves to prevent us from harm. Sometimes this is a completely rational, helpful response. Other times, it shuts us off from connecting with others. One thing I am doing more and more, in response to the turbulence I’m experiencing in the world, is looking for beauty and finding moments of joy as a way of staying in a place where I can respond with love. Daily meditation helps, tremendously, as does pausing to watch the colours of the sky change when the sun rises and sets, to smile at the sound of birdsong in the morning, and to delight in seemingly mundane things (do you know how FAST you can get from London to Liverpool on the train?!).

But even so, amid the tornadoed Atlantic of my being, do I myself still for ever centrally disport in mute calm; and while ponderous planets of unwaning woe revolve round me, deep down and deep inland there I still bathe me in eternal mildness of joy. - Herman Melville, Moby Dick

I love these words of Meister Eckhart, translated by Daniel Ladinsky, because he doesn’t try to pretend that there are not horrors in the world. He shares his experience of trying to make sense of unwanted experiences, and how the call of a bird invited him back to love. I’m not sure I can fully make sense of why this works, but the more I tune into beauty, the more I am able to stay present with myself and in connection with others. If you’re feeling the effects of these turbulent times, perhaps just see if you can look for moments of beauty, while bringing compassion for any pain you are feeling. That feels like enough for now.

About Friday Pauses

We can all sense how a lack of presence in our daily life affects the quality of our relationships, our ability to form real connections – and yet we struggle to set aside distractions. In my Friday Pauses, I want to encourage us all to do just that – pause for a moment and feel what it’s like to be present by reading a poem.

If you’re new to Friday Pause, here’s what I suggest:

• Minimize or close other screens.
• Put your phone on silent.
• Close your eyes and take a full breath in…and out. Maybe count to four on the inhale and six on the exhale.
• Read the poem below – out loud, if you can. It will slow you down and help you feel the words more.
• Take another deep breath in…and out.
• Resume your day.