Beauty 'IN' the Beast

I was recently invited to speak on transformational leadership at a University with aspiring youth, and to share my experience in bringing change within organizations. 

Faced with the usual onslaught of queries like which cricket team I support, where I do my shopping from, what I would have done if I had not pursued Banking. (It is interesting how professional discussions take a private focus) I was asked a peculiar question. The question from this young twenty year old student was this. 

“Sir, you can make a difference because of your stature and position. You are a CEO. How can we even try to come to that level? ”.

A strange silence took over the room and I could see a number of heads shaking in approval to the inquisition. 

My answer was simply this.

 “You want to see the power of making a difference despite your stature? Ever slept in a room with a mosquito?” 

I did not need to explain more, but leaving a few chuckles behind, I did promise to give my two cents on the notion later.

A question for you. 

Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas? 

Apparently, it does. Puzzled? 

Stay with me. 

The Butterfly Effect. A popular notion of the Chaos Theory that states that the simple flap of a butterfly’s wings, causes changes in atmosphere that may ultimately alter the path of a tornado or delay, accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in another location. 

Basically, a butterfly could flap its wings, stirring molecules of air in motion, which could move other molecules of air, in turn moving more molecules of air, eventually creating a hurricane on the other side of the planet. Fascinating! 

In retrospect, somehow, everything seems to be connected. Everything seems to have an effect. And not just a simple one, but a far reaching one. Who would imagine, something as small as the flutter of the butterfly’s wing could ultimately cause a tornado halfway around the world? Then you, as an individual, will only mirror that in lives of millions around the world. Think about it. 

We are so quick to see the beauty of success that we forget about what preceded it. In fact, most of the battles we fight, never really happen. It’s after all a devilish mind game to keep us in our comfort zones. 

But in reality, it is simple. We make it complicated. A difference is not judged by its magnitude but by the intention behind the smallest effort. Consistency is key here. Tiny differences in input can quickly become overwhelming differences in output. 

Which comes to my next case in point. 

Beauty ‘IN’ the beast. Now I didn’t get that title wrong. While the butterfly effect is what the world believes in, my rendition on making a difference is what I call the “Caterpillar Effect”. 

In other words, we hail the butterfly and its beauty and glory, but forget about all the work preceding it. The beauty in the work of the ugly caterpillar. The one who gets the job done by daily, consistent and resilient efforts. The results then, happen naturally. The butterfly is born.

Change one thing. Change everything. 

I believe we all have the power within to do more than we have ever imagined. Forget about changing the world and just start with yourself. Your life. Your being. Your surroundings and see how the ripple effect starts. 

Now I am not here to tell you exactly how big a difference you can make. That has no limits in my opinion and you will find enough blogs on that. I am just talking about the elephant in the room. What we don’t talk much about. What we don’t count as making a difference. 

• Reality check. Change a single life and you do change the world. 

If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one, is a famous quote by Mother Teresa. Whether you are talking about making a difference in your professional field or life, it all starts with the first step. The small efforts. That can actually start a chain reaction. It is not about the big lofty goals and be remembered as visionaries but more to do about the impact on individual lives. What you are remembered as. Everyone wants to bask in the glory of being game changers, but to me, that has nothing to do with making a difference. It is the subtle, quiet efforts that help single lives that can start a chain reaction for others. 

• No time to wait. All you need is what you have. 

Another aspect we focus on is the perfect time to make a change. Maybe earn some more money or get a few obligations out of the way. Maybe when we retire, focus on giving back to the community. These to me, are excuses to do less instead of more. You want to start? Start now. It’s the small contributions that matter. Start with empathy and compassion to listen to others problems and help them find their way. This is free guidance you can give and believe me, there are many seekers who just want that. A person who listens to them without judgement. If you can make this change for anyone daily, you get started on your way. Believe me, it comes back in more beautiful ways than you can imagine. Take time off and give a few minutes. You have it already.

• Its elementary. To receive you must first give

What you have, will never lessen if you share. Thousands of candles can be lit by a single candle and that is your butterfly effect. The more you give, the more you receive. It’s a law that just happens. Now I am not asking you to give away all your savings. It’s the small efforts that matter, materially or emotionally. Giving compassion and happiness to another, is an innate gift. You are not supposed to be Steve Jobs to make a difference. All you need is yourself and your unique capabilities that only you have. Often we focus on making big changes, that we forget about the journey itself. I feel big changes are the sum of smaller efforts and wins. Start with small efforts that show humanity, without any conditions attached. 

• If it doesn’t improve the lives of those around you, change direction

The exhilaration one feels in being of value to another being, is incomparable. That to me, is true happiness within. It’s the quality of the soul you can never run away from. If you really want to bring change, look around you. Empower others by giving reassurance and encouragement. Try to bring sincere kindness to those around you and stay away from getting ahead of the other. Focus on what needs to be done, than shortcuts to get ahead. 

• Go the whole mile. Don’t stop in between 

Changing the lives of others, means that you stay with them and go the distance. Small acts of kindness and compassion on a daily basis, is important. Often we lose steam in the middle and get back to the mundane routine, but taking time out for such acts will not be much for you, but make a world of a change for the one in need. 

• Stop complaining. Lead the way. 

All the whining about not having enough status or money to change the world, are your own excuses stopping you from actually starting on the path. Engage in activities that matter and if all else fails, lead by example. Be the person you would like to admire. Put more effort in your work and bring value to those around you. Start with your family. A few relatives. 

The only reason we don’t make a difference is because we are too focused on what we are not, rather than what we are. 

I don’t need to say more. But I will leave you with some wise words by Erin Hanson. Stop being swayed by the beauty of the butterfly and believe in the strength of the caterpillar. Believe in who you are and start the ripple effect. Start today. Start now. 

NOT

You are not your age

Nor the size of clothes you wear

You are not a weight

Or the colour of your hair

You are not your name

Or the dimples in your cheeks

You are all the books you read

And all the words you speak

You are your croaky morning voice

And the smiles you try to hide

You are the sweetness in your laughter

And every tear you have cried

You are the songs you sing so loudly 

When you know you are all alone

You are the places that you have been to

And the one that you call home

You are the things that you believe in

And the people that you love

You are the photos in your bedroom

And the future you dream of

You are made of so much beauty

But it seems that you forgot

When you decided that you were defined

By all the things you are NOT.