A beautiful lie, a beautiful curse. (poem)

?Maybe my dad cursed me,

Yes so many people hurt me,

So many people want to see me fail,

And guess what I’m failing,

Even my family didn’t care where I went,

It’s always dark here and it’s raining,

What’s blood when water is better,

And what’s water when blood is like a mirror,

trying to survive in this weather,

All this is a hidden message to my save me letter,

They doubted me so I tried but I can’t,

When everyone is out to get you,

But a happy family is all I want,

I never gave up and I never ran,

I'm stuck in this beautiful curse,

Where nothing goes right & your always hurt,

They want me to lose and they want me to burn,

So now I’m wondering will my life ever make a turn,

Everything seems like it’s in rewind,

It’s not getting easy,

But the only powerful thing I have is my mind,

take me to that happy place take me where it is nice,

Life is what you make it, but that seems like a lie,

Everything I was told I applied,

But maybe everything I was told is a lie?

How do I break out of this illusion,

How do I stop hearing these cries,

How do I break out of this curse,

Because clearly this is not a fairytale filled with smiles,

I’m just tired of living this life,

Where we have to work like slaves,

And eventually die,

and we retire with regrets, living the last of our days just trying to survive,

There are so many people that are jealous & hate on me,

Like why! don’t you breathe the same air as me?

And it’s like they give you these opportunities just to see you lose,

Or maybe I am just cursed because people are cruel,

Why don’t we stop all the war and fighting, and actually help each other succeed,

because violence is the answer to suffer in defeat,

are you real or fake just showing everyone different faces,

I’m cursed and my mind is always in different places.?