Bearing witness to people's stories
Shimrit Janes
Writer, Researcher, Facilitator ? Exploring kinship in digital and non-digital space ? Co-author 'Nature of Work'
It has been a week of inviting and bearing witness to people's stories.
We talk about humans as a storytelling species all the time. We often think of our pull to create and listen to folktales and mythology, as sensemaking tools of our lives and our place in the world.
We see this across all cultures, from ancient times (think of different creation stories, for example) through to today, where we flock to cinemas, theatres, books, songs, and increasingly storytelling events and campfires.
What we often forget amongst this, is that each of us is also a storyteller. Each of our lives has not just a single story, but multiple. These aren't static things; our life stories and how we understand them are constantly changing.
But how often are we invited to actually tell a story of our lives? And to have someone bear witness to those stories?
When my father's parents were alive, they provided me with my first experience of intentionally inviting and listening to someone's story. Yes, I'd always heard them tell snippets of stories from their lives. But to sit down, with a recorder of some sort, and invite their life stories as a way of bearing witness to and documenting an elder's experiences, was a privilege that I will always treasure. We never finished their stories. But the videos I have of them speaking with me are very dear to my heart.
What's more, when you invite someone to share their story with you and to own their story as they tell it – not as an extractive exercise, but as one of kinship – a bond is created between you that is hard to explain as the story unfolds and is witnessed. I cannot stress enough the humble honour that is hearing someone respond to the invitation of sharing their story, in their way, and in their words.
What is your name, and what does it mean for you?
On Tuesday evening, for Nikki Kapp's Embodied Regeneration community, Dain Robinson, Hannah Riley and I invited the group of women who had assembled under the banner, 'Healing Bodies, Seeking Justice', to speak to the question: "What is your name, and what does it mean for you?" This was a way in to speaking about our experiences and heritages. We were a mixed group: roughly equal women of colour or mixed heritage, and white women.
The three of us shared our own story names (I've written a longer piece about mine).
And we then went around the circle.
I hadn't anticipated what would emerge.
Stories of white ancestry connected with colonialism, and feelings associated with that.
Stories that showed us how our names of colour and mixed heritage are often ways into hearing experiences of discrimination, yes, and also stories of affirming joy.
These two types of stories stood in stark contrast with each other; they provided the commentary of why we were gathering simply by being strung together. The stories stood in conversation with each other simply by being spoken into the circle.
But then there were also shared patterns regardless of who was speaking: reclaiming names, our relationships with our families, our places in the world.
Bearing witness to each story was a privilege I hadn't anticipated when we chose the circle question. It's one I'd heard at a DEI panel a good few years ago now, and felt like a 'soft' way into the topic. It's a question I invite you to ask others – and of yourself – when there is time and space to hear the stories it may evoke.
What is your story of regeneration?
This week I've also started hearing people's stories from the Regenerators alumni community. I'm working with the team to create a living library of people's stories who have been through the Regenerative Leadership Journey, having been part of the first cohort in 2022 myself.
An invitation was put out for people who wished to tell their stories of having been through the Journey, with support from me as a writer.
And again, I hadn't anticipated how honoured I would feel being trusted with people's vulnerabilities and lives.
I've heard three stories this week, one through voice notes and the other two through video calls.
And each time, I have been deeply moved by people's capacity to be reflective about their lives, their ability to draw threads of causality through them, their sense of self and evolution. But most of all their willingness to be asked and respond to questions.
The stories never started with Regenerators. And didn't finish there either.
I feel excitement in collaborating with them to transform their oral stories into something written that feels like a clear mirror when they read it. Something they can share with the world, with loved ones, and hold for themselves as a reflection of how they understand their journeys from their current vantage points.
And throughout this process, I never feel the owner of these stories; more a channel through which the storyteller can sound the bells and beats and silences of their lives. To be somewhere their living, spoken words can travel through and metamorphose into something written, which is still completely them and theirs.
Bearing witness to someone's stories
A few things I've learned this week while bearing witness to others' stories:
These lessons may change the further I get into the process! And within here somewhere is a deeper piece about the importance of testimonial, archival, histories, perhaps even an exploration of the whole concept of the 'unreliable narrator'.
But it has been an honour to bear witness to people's stories this week.
They speak to the folktales that we're so often drawn to; the everyday lives of people that contain with them as much magic and meaning as the myths of gods and goddesses.
Coaching changemakers to create impact while thriving in their minds & bodies
3 个月You really do have a way with words Shimrit Janes! Thank you for capturing this. I'm really touched by the stories shared and witnessed at our gathering last week. It felt really healing and connecting.
Regenerative Leadership Coach, working with women leaders in Africa. Over 15 years experience in Learning and Development and facilitation. Experienced coach and speaker.
3 个月I love this, thank you for being such an empathetic and powerful story listener, holding space for the emerging voices. We are all stories that should be told and shared. ??
Bridging the gap between money and mental health ??| Financial Wellbeing speaker, consultant, writer, host and facilitator, empowering founders and professionals to thrive, not just survive??
3 个月It was so special to be in community with you this week <3. Thank you for holding the space
Regenerative Communications Coach & Consultant | Queer Leadership | Express your value and wisdom for the world
3 个月Thanks for sharing your insights, Shimrit! Wish I could have made it! We've also held some storytelling circles with Barbara Lima and our regenerative comms team. What stood out for us is how the witnessing itself allowed each other to go deeper into our own story - perhaps we could call this "storylayering". And each story seemed like a microcosm weaving together the narratives, traumas, and dreams of our time. We're pondering right now how to plant stories in fertile soils. How can we create the conditions for us to witness beyond our traditional bubbles?