BAW Ep. 23: "I am doing soo much for so little!"

You might be able to relate, you might not. But the fact that you are reading this now, means that you at least think you are doing so much work.

Let me offer my definition of 'working too much'.

It's not having little to no time to catch up to things that need be done.

It's not the pile of things that you should address.

It's not the mountain of tasks waiting for your attention.

It's doing things that should not be done at all, and doing too much of it, when it needn't be done in the first place.

A lot of people are in the busy-ness business; trying to look as busy as possible as it is a self-serving act that enables one to show, advertise, and to a certain extent gloat about his contributions and importance in the company.

"I did that, I did this, I am so busy, I don't have the time, look at me, I'm the busiest, most important person in the room and people should be praising and seeing me more"

Granted, you don't actually hear people say this, but I know you'll say you'd swear you've encountered this kind of a person, and you hear this in so many words other than the above. But after all the noise and gibberish, this is what they were trying to say, isn't it?

I am not trying to overzealously undermine these people. Because at the core of it, they are somewhat a hard worker. The need to be recognized and awarded is given, it's in all of us. We are a (highly) social creature and more than physical sustenance, we crave and need social validation, even though we say we don't. We are not so different after all.

Sure, it can get annoying sometimes, especially when the person lacks inhibition when it comes to 'bragging' his busy-ness. I put the imaginary air quote there to illustrate a behaviour of one masking his actual intention to brag when he is reporting the mountain of work he has or had done to somebody else.

But, if you really care about them, or maybe you've reached your tipping point-- but that remains as secondary; you'd advise them. If you are this person, please, do not take this personally, rather, take this as a lucky encounter and opportunity to be an actual contributor and to be sincerely recognized for the gravity of your important-ness. Let's get to it.

Advise #1: Think, can you really keep this up?

Fake contribution leads to fake recognition. And remember, you would have to be a very good salesman (read: bulshitter) to sell your contributions for more than what they're actually worth. This kind of mental gymnast to keep the facade going is undoubtedly tiring. You'd have to be always vigilant in keeping track and thinking of how to embellish each and every thing that you did to sound like you are worth far more.

And it doesn't matter where you go, people will eventually find out and see through your act, if not earlier. When that moment came, you can no longer weasel your way through and expect that people will see you as this highly effective and important person. Your superior will ignore your (seemingly) magnificent feats and they would have no gravity in your appraisal even when they should.

Your peers? Well, even worse.

They will smile and pretend that they are listening to your humble brag while (sometimes unsuccessfully) hiding their real emotion towards you; disdain, annoyed, and irritated. They would figuratively roll their eyes when you speak and will actually do it once they turn their heads around.

When that happens, you'd feel the air around you is toxic. Well, it is, it is toxic for you. This is no longer a place for you, and you've helped to create this atmosphere yourself.

Advise #2: Seek how recognitions are passed around

Yes, sure, everybody wants recognitions and gratitude. But it is a wrong mindset to have that you'd have to advertise each and every action of yours to get recognition. To get recognitions and proper awards around the office, find out how it is in your workplace.

The easiest method would be to observe how your manager gives recognition to your peers. Observe what led to the event. What did your colleague do to deserve the praise? What is the demeanour of that said colleague? What gives your manager the satisfaction he needs to give out those words?

The second way is to be transparent about your preferred way of being thanked. To do this, you'd have to introspect and ask yourself; which mode of reciprocity you prefer? Discuss this in your 1-on-1 with your manager. If you think you are not getting enough praises and recognition, be transparent and convey your feeling to your manager.

He might have his reasons and if he is transparent, he would share his criteria and his reasons. Either way, it's better to get it out there than to leave everything to assumptions and (ill) interpretation.

Advice #3: Do actual work

Sure, it sounds simple, but how do one determine the actual work to be done? Allow me to share with you how, and if you're reading this, it's a sign for you. A sign to stop working for a moment and start categorizing things.

Category #1: What is it that I am good at and nobody else could do as well as I do?

Seldom that you are hired just because you are another similar, quirk-less, robotic set pair of hands. You have your own strengths, things that you are doing better than most, if not all your colleagues. Can you figure out what they are? Or, rather unfortunate, you can't? In that case, you might want to start looking for something to put in this category and do it fast.

It could be that you are good at sending emails and communicating with clients.

It could be that you are exceptional at problem-solving and brainstorming.

It could be that you are really good at documentation and note-taking.

It could be that you have stellar customer service skills.

Point to remember though; weaseling and bulshitting your way out of things or skillfully humble bragging is not a real strength. So aren't gossiping, and assigning blames.

Category #2: What am I not good at and yet spent egregious amount of time doing anyway?

Peter Drucker said that this is the more important thing you should think of. Doing effective work is not doing what's right more than it is about not doing what you're not supposed to. Meaning, you should spend more time and effort finding out the things you shouldn't do-- things that you suck at but are taking a lot of your time.

For example, if you are a developer but is asked to test the system and create test scripts, and you are not good at doing so, but had to nevertheless, this is one of the things you need to put in this list.

Another example is if you're good at client's interaction and negotiating project's timeline, delays and change requests, and you're tasked to do technical documentation that you absolutely suck at, then you should consider dropping it as well.

Bring these 2 lists to your 1-on-1 session with your manager. Tell him that you would like to maximize your strengths and hence potential, and to do so, you would like to focus on what you're good at, and would like to trim all the fat and reduce or remove the things that you really don't have any business doing.

He would really appreciate that you have this initiative and whatever that is good for the company is good for him as well. It's really a win-win situation. You will be leaving so much more dent by being more effective, thus earning you well-deserved praises and recognitions without having to resort to cheap humble bragging and complaining.

And like all my articles, I would like for this not to be too long. Let's stop at 3. However, these 3 advices are loaded ones; and if you (or that person) follow this to heart, then I can guarantee that they would start to get actual recognition and admiration that they so crave, and it would be much more satisfying.

Have you encountered such a person? What's your experience? Do you have an advice? Let me know in the comment section!