Battling Imposter Syndrome: My Journey as a Freelancer

Another year older, but do I really have it all figured out yet? As I approach my 25th birthday, it's a question that haunts me. But here's the truth – I don't. And that's perfectly okay.

In the midst of pursuing my postgraduate degree (in education), I decided to dip my toes into the world of freelancing on Upwork in 2022 and let’s just say I was not expecting to be thrown into a whirlwind of confusion and doubt about my own capabilities.

The culprit? Imposter Syndrome.

This sneaky, not-so-little beast completely blindsided me and has made me question all my career choices. But today, I want to share my journey with you and get this beast off my chest.

The Comparison Game

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always had the instinct or reflex to compare myself with others. I would compare my looks, grades, social life – you name it, and I’ve probably compared it to someone else’s. I even compare my problems to others, often catching myself thinking, “Stop overreacting, other people have it worse”. Now, as a soon-to-be-25-year-old, that ugly habit is still as strong as ever.

I’m not as active as I want to be on LinkedIn, but I suspect it’s because I can only take so much scrolling and seeing “I’m excited to announce my new position as…” and “As a self-made millionaire at the age of 12, here are my totally vague tips on how you can…”

Okay, I might have exaggerated that last one, nonetheless, I could only scroll by a few of these posts before my self-image was in the gutter. What achievements have I reached? Why can’t I be as successful as X? Where do these people get all these SKILLS?

However, recently I’ve started to focus on my own progress instead of comparing my progress to someone else’s highlight reel. It’s really hard not to feed the imposter syndrome beast, but I’m trying.? I’m embracing my own unique path and remembering that everyone has their own struggles, setbacks, and moments of self-doubt – even those who appear to have it all together.?

Facing Unexpected Challenges:

Here’s a little personal story that happened very recently: I had been working diligently with a client, following our agreed-upon terms to the best of my ability (even though I was struggling with Imposter Syndrome while working with this client, I did not think that it was affecting my work).

However, they dismissed our work agreement, leaving me in a state of shock and confusion. It was as if the ground had shifted beneath me, and imposter syndrome reared its head once again.

In those moments, I found myself questioning my abilities and wondering if I’d made a grave mistake. I found myself asking, "Did I miss something? Was my work not up to par?" These doubts are paralysing, but they are also a reminder of the resilience and adaptability we possess as freelancers.

From this experience, I've come to realise that communication is key, especially in the realm of freelancing. It's a lesson I intend to carry into new opportunities. It's crucial for me to express any uncertainties or thoughts to the client, ensuring satisfaction and contentment for both parties involved.

Strategies I Want to Implement to Curb the Beast

So, how am I planning to tackle imposter syndrome in the freelancing world while pursuing my postgraduate degree? Here are a few strategies I'm eager to implement:

1. Setting Realistic Goals: If I break down my big goals into smaller, more doable steps, it'll help me stay on track and feel good about myself as I complete them one by one.
2. Seeking Feedback: I'm determined to actively seek feedback from clients and peers to gain valuable insights and use them as tools for growth (no matter how embarrassing it might feel to get negative feedback)
3. Reflecting on Achievements: I want to start a journal or simply a platform (maybe LinkedIn?) to keep track of my accomplishments, no matter how minor, to serve as a constant reminder of my progress during moments of self-doubt.
4. Embracing Continuous Learning: In this ever-changing world of freelancing, I'm always looking to invest in my skills and knowledge through courses and self-study. I want to make sure I'm always ahead of the curve.
5. Building a Supportive Network: I want to be around supportive freelancers, mentors, and friends who understand my challenges. Sharing experiences and advice will be key to building my confidence. If that sounds like you, let's connect!

Amidst the freelancing challenges and doubts, I've achieved some milestones worth celebrating:

1. Top Rated Status?
2. $10,000+ Earnings

These successes remind me that imposter syndrome doesn't define my capabilities. They highlight the power of resilience and the strategies I want to implement to overcome self-doubt.

Wrapping up my discussion of battling imposter syndrome, I want to leave you with this quote by renowned poet and activist Maya Angelou, "I have written 11 books, but each time I think, 'Uh oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everybody, and they're going to find me out.'"?

I encourage you to share your own experiences with imposter syndrome, your strategies for overcoming it, or your proudest achievements. Let's create a supportive community to empower each other to succeed.