Basic Ingredients of Friendship...

Basic Ingredients of Friendship......

Recently, I received the most beautiful note from a close friend of mine who was thanking me for praying for them in their time of need with the following quotation enclosed: “Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest….It’s about who came and never left your side.” Among the basic ingredients of true friendship are: loyalty, trust, compassion, love, care, honesty, mutual commitment and shared ideals. Friends are very special to us because we know that they are there for us, just as we are there for them. When we have the safe haven of a true friend and genuine friendship, we have something precious beyond words. Friends make life worthwhile because they embody the powers of goodness, trustworthiness, honesty and love. True friends enrich our lives in so many ways and shower us with many blessing's. Through a magical combination of similarities and differences, friends offer us the opportunity to know ourselves as we are and help us grow into who we want to be. Our similarities attract us to each other, comforting us with familiarity when we see ourselves in them. When we are drawn to those we admire, the same recognition is at work, unconsciously acknowledging that these people possess qualities that we ourselves possess. By acting as mirrors, friends help us define who we are by reflecting ourselves back to us. True friends also help us know ourselves through our differences. Differences allow us to see other options and make choices about who we want to be. Sometimes we are drawn to those who appear to be our opposites, and we learn to accept the parts of them we love and the parts of them that don't resonate with us. True friends have the courage to correct each other's mistakes rather than keep silent and do nothing. True friends help us to be a better version of ourselves and any friendship that brings toxic elements of bullying or judgementalism and hurtfulness needs to be dissolved as it will lead to illness and hardship. Friendship for it to work needs to have a positive impact on our lives not a negative one. True friends are very hard to find and if you have them in your life cherish them forever. Part of the joy of friendship is the feeling that we are accepted just the way we are, with no need to change. It is a gift they give us, and one we can give back every day. Ultimately, we choose friends because they make us feel good about ourselves and life. Through tears and difficulties, friends help us find the laughter. When we find those special people who offer us that perfect combination of comfort and stimulus to grow, we are very fortunate. Friends, those wonderful blessing's of companions that walk with us through life, help us define and refine who we are and who we choose to be every day. Friendship to me is about paying attention, devoting time and unconditional love to a small number of people who truly deserve you. It is not about how many “friends” you have on Facebook or on Twitter or whatever social media app you are presently using, or how many events or parties you are invited to. It is so much more than these things. It is intimate, real and precious. It lights you up and it also gives you the most incredible sense of joy, being loved and never being alone.

Joy of True Friendship

We all long for true friendship. But, what is true friendship? For me a true friend is someone who shows love and care at all times and who walks in when the whole world has walked away. True friendship is when the other person encourages you to be all you can be and challenges you to become the best version of yourself, and vice versa. But is it possible for us to love and care at all times? We are all humans, so we all make mistakes and have weaknesses, blind spots, frustrations and selfishnesses. Sometimes we are tired, overworked, stressed, addicted or depressed. It is very hard to be full of love and care all the time. We will always disappoint each other and even disappoint ourselves. Yet, the heart of God is always full of love for us. He is our very best friend, who loves us at all times. A big reason friends stop expressing love to one another, is because they misunderstand each other. People can find it very hard to fully understand what another person truly means. That is normal, it is human, it is typical for our limited ability to hear, feel, see and comprehend each other. God always fully understands us. He sees the depths of our hearts. He knows our deepest hidden thoughts, feelings, motivations and desires. He knows our blind spots and our weaknesses. He knows our wounds and hurts and is full of compassion and mercy for us. God is our one true friend where all refuge is found and he is true love and true friendship. The more we rest in His love and true friendship, the more we are filled with His mercy and kindness for us, the more He is our true rock and refuge, the more we will be able to be a true friend for others. I believe friendship is the most genuinely humane relationship of which we are capable. To be understood and appreciated for oneself is a vital experience in life, strengthening our will to live in seen and unseen ways. As the saying goes, "friendship doubles our joy and halves our sorrows." Nothing brings deeper satisfaction or more lasting reward than the effort to be a true friend to another person and to walk in when the whole world might have walked away in a person's life that needs a true friend at that time. Friendship is about those special people who are part of our lives and who have never left our side. Friendship is about people who believe in us and in whose goodness we believe. Friendship is about people who really care about us, just as we really care about them. Friendship is about loyalty, honesty, love, care, trust, commitment and sharing. When we spend time with friends, we feel good about life. We feel the special warmth that characterises real friendship. We feel natural and spontaneous, with no need to feel tense or defensive. Friends always listen with heart and they are always honest with us even though they know that the truth is what we may not be what we want to hear.

Friendship's Rainbow

"Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel. All claimed that they were the best. The most important. The most useful. The favorite. Green said: "Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all animals would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority." Blue interrupted: "You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing." Yellow chuckled: "You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun." Orange started next to blow her trumpet: "I am the color of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am precious, for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes and papayas. I don't hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you." Red could stand it no longer. He shouted out: "I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I am the color of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire into the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the color of passion and of love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy." Purple rose up to his full height. He was very tall and spoke with great pomp: "I am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs and bishops have always chosen me, for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey." Finally Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination: "Think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace." And so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening. Thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort. In the midst of the clamor, rain began to speak: "You foolish colors, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me." Doing as they were told, the colors united and joined hands. The rain continued: "From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The Rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow." And so, whenever a good rain washes the world, and a Rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another."

Friendship is a Gift

As a friend I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for an answer. I can't change your past with all its heartache and pain, or the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care. I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall. Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine. Yet, I can share in your laughter. Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge. I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask. I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me. I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you. I can't give you boundaries, which I have determined for you. But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself. I can't keep your heart from breaking or hurting. But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place. I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend. A few words from one of Eleanor Roosevelt speeches might help to explain better: "Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart. Anger is only one letter short of danger. ‘If someone betrays once, it is his or her fault; if he or she betrays you twice, it is your fault. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. He who loses money, loses much; he who loses a friend, loses much more; he who loses faith, loses all. Beautiful young people are part of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. Learn from the mistakes of others; you can't live long enough to make them all yourself. Friends, you and me... You brought another friend... and we started our group... our circle of friends... and like a circle... there is no beginning or end. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.’

As a final thought, look around you and truly cherish those special people and friends that are part of your life and always remember that friendship can be a true place of refuge and is one of life's most wonderful blessings. Let me finish this thought with a prayer I say for my friends, "I will pray for you, my friend. I will name you in my heart before God and ask all His blessing be upon you. I will be concerned for your rising and your daily mood. I will be sympathetic to your personal needs and desires in each day of your life. I will wish you well in your learning, or your work, in your domestic round and your leisure. I will think of you at the close of each day and pray that God’s peace be with you. If you have been especially kind or helpful to me then I will make my gratitude known to you. If you are in trouble or difficulty of any kind, or simply tired and worn down, I will do all and anything I can to lift your spirits. I will ache for you in your sorrows and disasters and rejoice with you in your joys and triumphs. I will love and care for you as I love and care for myself. Amen" So always remember that a friend is someone who walks in when the whole world has walked away. Be thankful and cherish those true friends that are part of your life and understand that we all need help and support now and then. Please remember that Friendship is one of the most beautiful, most powerful, and most valuable treasures in life. It is your true wealth. A song that I listen to regularly is , 'My Forever Friend' by Charlie Landsborough and it reminds me to always pray and be thankful for the gift of friendship in my life. Here is my friendship prayer for you. "I pray that each of you who read this article each week will have or find a special forever friend; Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who can make you laugh until you can’t stop; Someone who can make you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone that when you’re down, and the world seems dark and empty, will lift you up in spirit and make that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Someone who will help get you through the hard times, the sad times, and the confused times. I pray that you will find a Forever Friend. A forever friend that will hold your hand and tell you that everything is going to be okay. I hope that all of you who already have found such a friend in their life, feel's happy and complete, because you need not worry. You have found a forever friend for life, and forever has no end. Cherish them always! Amen."