Baseball, Boston & Bill Mueller

After a sweet, sweet Patriots victory yesterday over the Jets, & a weekend filled watching (then rewatching) the new Netflix documentary about the ‘04 Red Sox, all I can think about is Boston sports. So that is what I’m going to write about.

Shamelessly, my Boston sports fandom is PUMPING through my veins.

People who are not Boston sports fans tend to hate us. Which is fair. In the new millennium, we’ve witnessed 13 parades. 6 from the Patriots, 4 from the Red Sox, 2 from the Celtics & 1 from the Bruins.

We’ve won a lot.

As a kid, 2002 was the first year I truly fell in love with the Red Sox. Nomar, Pedro, Manny, Varitek. I’d get my dad to pull me out of school early to take me to games. Wear my baseball glove to class. We’d get to the games VERY early to watch batting practice & hopefully snag a ball.

Here’s a pic of me drinking a Coca Cola the size of my torso in ‘02. Put it in the Louvre.

I knew then & there that I was going to dedicate ALL my free time (which was all of my time… since I was 6) to willing this team to a championship.

Here’s what being an obsessive Red Sox fan taught me:

-Culture is key. You NEED a locker room / glue guy.

-History is relevant. Don’t repeat it & use it to your advantage.

-Stats (sabermetrics) are important but aren’t everything. Mariano Rivera hadn’t walked someone in the postseason in 3 years. He walked Kevin Millar. Every single person in the world knew Dave Roberts was going to steal 2nd. He stole 2nd. Billy Mueller hit piss missiles. A guy like Billy Mueller shouldn’t hit piss missiles.

-Every winning team needs a catch phrase. Cowboy up & don’t let us win tonight. Game 7… Anything can happen.

-It’s okay to take the edge off if you need to. Life’s stressful. The' ‘04 Sox took shots of Jack Daniels in paper gatorade cups BEFORE game 4, down 0-3 against the Yankees. They ended up winning that game, and then 3 more.

-A 28 year old can do anything if you just give them a chance. Theo Epstein was thrust into the General Manager role of the Red Sox at 28. He broke a shit ton of norms. He traded Nomar. He broke an 86 year curse (Red Sox) & then a 108 year curse (Cubs). Honestly, Theo might be a witch.

-Having fun matters. Those guys proved it. George Steinbrenner was running a shaved head, obedient, corporate, military-esque baseball team, whilst the Red Sox were drinking whiskey in the locker room, watching Animal House before elimination games, had a white dude with cornrows, & were throwing knuckleballs during games.

And guess who won? Billy Fucking Mueller.

People also sleep on the fact he was the AL batting champ in ‘03.

I mean, how can you not be romantic about baseball?

Let’s have an awesome (& spooky) week. Happy Halloween.