Barbie: Hot Damn I Love This Movie!

Barbie the movie is changing the world. It’s happening right now.

I have spent years in the trenches of social media, battling all manner of MRA, incels, and other masculinity extremists. It is an art form to respond in ways that are effective. I’m here to tell you that Barbie the movie is the most powerful act of gender aikido that I have EVER seen on film, or anywhere else.

Put simply, Barbie flips gender privilege as a driver for men’s, (women’s and non binary folks’) self-reflection. →Male viewers feeling like men are second class citizens in Barbieland? Oh, I get it. I felt it myself watching the movie.

“Imagine real life being like that every day… Oh, wait.”

The central tenet of the film is that once we name the mad litany of contradictions inherent in patriarchal “never good enough” roles for women… once the words are spoken clearly, women will snap out of the trance of patriarchy. America Ferrera’s “It is literally impossible to be a woman” speech is transformational. I firmly believe many men who are seeing this speech will be snapping out of it, too.

For decades, MRA, MGTOWs, incels and a whole host of other manosphere extremists have sought to dogpile on, erase, dismiss, and demonize the word patriarchy wherever it showed up. Well, sorry about all that hard work keeping it marginalized, bros, but at a $billion dollars in ticket sales and climbing, Barbie has mainstreamed the concept of patriarchy GLOBALLY with a whole generation. And I promise you, you won’t get that genie back in the bottle.

But also, and this is crucial to understand, Greta Gerwig has made a damn fine movie. All gender politics aside, It’s entertaining, unpredictable, satisfying and fun. It’s amazing work of filmmaking by any standard you care to name. Truly an Oscar worthy film.

My mind was working at every level watching Gerwig’s Barbie. I saw it from the entertainment lens. I saw it from my own resistance as a man. I saw it from within my masculinity work. The intersection of these things coupled with the heartfelt impact of Gerwig’s sometimes deeply emotionally effecting story had me weeping. I kid you not. I wept in part because of how perfectly this film causes us self reflect. Is there such a thing as “wow crying?”

Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach’s Barbie script gets out ahead of every #NotAllMen counter argument and turns them neatly back on themselves along with holding a host of systemic and structural inequities up to the light with grace and humor.

Barbie the movie is changing the world. It’s happening right now. You know how I know? A $billion in ticket sales is one way I know. But I also know because when I went to FINALLY see the movie this AM, the other people in the theater did not get up and leave. We all sat though the credits. We all sat there and PROCESSED it.

I completely understand why Ben Shapiro and his ilk attacked Barbie the movie. They know power and impact when they see it. And this film? Boys, girls and non binary kids will walk away asking pointed questions about what patriarchy is creating in their lives and in their futures. It is Athena’s javalin striking at the heart of our masculine culture of sexist abuse and violence against women. It’s that effective.

Barbie is not here to make men feel good about ourselves. When Barbie feels some sympathy for Ken in defeat, Gloria reminds her: “He took your house, he brainwashed your friends, he wants to control the government.” And brothers, in our patriarchal system, we do that to women, and far, far worse.

Economic, political and sexual violence against women is actually getting worse. Which means, collectively, we as men are allowing it to continue. Sorry boys, nobody gets off the hook here. When men are finally ready for all that crap to end, it will end overnight. And the fact that it hasn't is on all of us.