Bar-of-record

Earlier this week we published a story on an agency team trying to find the perfect after-work bar in New York. They'd embarked on a proper review, calling up barkeeps in the middle of the day and going on tasting sessions. It was fun to write, and I've had some nice notes about it from readers, but it got me thinking - can we apply Droga5's bar criteria to other cities?

The list, according to Scott Bell , included the following musts:

1. Walking distance (1 block only) from the office
2. Coors Light on tap
3. Bad internet to stop people working
4. Low, low prices
5. A decent selection of bourbon and non-alcoholic stuff
6. Exclusivity (no other agencies!)

Droga's framework is useful, but perhaps not for everyone. In Scotland we'd switch out the bourbon and Coors for Tennent's and single malt. For the sake of competition, let's consider George Orwell's rules. He famously wrote that the ideal London pub would be called The Moon Under Water and would have the following:

1. Victorian architecture
2. Darts
3. No music
4. Few enough customers that the barkeep remembers your name
5. Stamps, ciggies and aspirin, and a telephone
6. Liver sandwiches, mussels, cheese, pickles, biscuits
7. A roast
8. Draught ale in China mugs
9. A back garden

You can read his argument in his 1946 essay. But Orwell's rules are pretty much out of date entirely now. There can't be many city centre joints with gardens (I can think of only a handful in the whole of Edinburgh) and I've never been served a pint in a China mug. In any case, this silent, smoking overly familiar real-ale pub sounds a little quaint for a casual after-work pint.

Despite the fact that more than a few pubs have named themselves after Orwell's ideal joint, I'd rather head to the Killarney Rose. I would, however, borrow from The Simpsons and add one more stipulation to the good bar criteria: fire exits.

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