Bar chats about leadership - Exceptional leaders navigating through tough situations
Happy New Year! I hope you had a wonderful holiday with time to disconnect from work. In keeping with my bartending connection, my break included having my favorite holiday cocktail — cranberry daiquiri from the legendary Gramercy Tavern in NYC. The link to their Cranberry Daiquiri recipe is below.
These past few months, I’ve been posting excerpts from conversations (mostly bar chats) with 15 exceptional business leaders. My definition of exceptional -- leaders possessing the following qualities: sincerity, adaptability, humility, keen observation, self-awareness, and motivation beyond material gain and power; specifically, a desire to make a positive impact and help others. I organized my chats into five themes representing practices used by these leaders:
1.?????? Observe, adopt, adapt to one’s own style: Embrace leadership behaviors that resonate, then personalize, and make it your own.
2.?????? Content is king: Build credibility by immersing yourself in a relevant topic, invest time and effort to achieve a high level of expertise.
3.?????? Focus on communications - being concise, consistent and curious
4.?????? Know thy self – strengths and what weakens or drains you
5.?????? Embrace your inner passion to:
Applying these leadership practices is challenging, even when you are part of a highly cooperative and supportive culture. What happens when a leader is thrown into an extremely difficult situation, such as, a highly stressed environment, communication is limited, and/or the leader works with other leaders who have an intimidating (or toxic) leadership style? How do they stay true to these practices?
?“… working with toxic people can be emotionally, mentally, physically taxing and draining… you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells, or fearing retaliation at any moment because you are not aligned with their views. You never know when they will lash out, making it difficult to trust them.” – Source - The Dark Side of Leadership: The Most Toxic Leader Traits, by Rafael Magana & Yajaira De La Paz
Chuck Saia, author of “You Got this Kid – word of advice for young leaders", (highly recommend) likens toxic leaders to “scorpions in the animal kingdom”. Saia offers valuable insights and approaches on how to deal with leaders who exhibit scorpion-like traits. He also helps with how you can develop an “armadillo’s thick skin … and build a team of dolphins.” https://www.amazon.com/YOU-GOT-THIS-KID-Leaders/dp/B08SFZD1K5
CD found a way to stay exceptional in a tough environment.
CD, an Ops & Tech leader in the Life Sciences industry, told me an intriguing story of how she got through a challenging circumstance. She was leading a project that was in jeopardy and had a boss who was imposing and manipulative. What impressed me was how she handled herself - ??with creativity, grace, humor, creativity, and never lost her cool! I wish I'd heard this story earlier in my career.? I hope it resonates with you.
A bit about CD
领英推荐
CD's high stake / nerve-wracking situation
“Earlier in my leadership career, I worked with a leader whose management style was one of intimidation and instilling fear to obtain responsiveness and a call to action.? He created an extremely stressful environment leading to a lack of trust, partnership, and collaboration.
A pivotal moment for me was when I was called into his office and faced with his aggressive, rude, and intimidating management style.? My project was way behind schedule; development was two-weeks late, leaving my team with only three days to test, package, and release the product.? Despite this, I had a plan on how to bring the program to close.? So, when I came into his office and was asked to sit down, he pushed his chair back, put his feet on the desk, hands behind his head and spoke loudly inquiring about my plan.
“What did you do?”, I asked CD.
“Well, I said, very politely, “I would love to look you in the eye and provide you with my plan and commitment to bring this to closure, as opposed to, looking at the bottom of your feet.? Do you mind putting them down so that I can talk to you?”? I took him off guard and he obliged me.? From there we discussed the plan, shook on it and I left his office.? I executed the plan, and to sum it up, my team and I achieved the release date.
What I learned that day was that it’s okay to seek respect, and to speak up.? I sought collaboration and met fear with understanding.? This encounter shaped how I lead today, it helped me formulate my guiding principles now center to my core – to lead with collaboration, partnership, inclusion, understanding, and fairness.”
CD went on to tell me:
“As with any job you do, aim to perform at your highest capacity. When there is a hurdle in performing that job, persevere with creativity and collaboration because collaboration creates understanding and the bonding necessary to form allies. Showing the “art of the possible” attitude along with a generous work ethic is the chemistry that compels change of the preconceived notions…
Our relationship changed that day and we both learned… for him, there are different ways to achieve a result, and for me, finding my voice and defining my leadership style. To this day, we are very close and have built a relationship on mutual respect, trust, and partnership.
CD showed exceptional leadership in a tough situation. ?She found a way to communicate her plan, turn a strained relationship into a positive one, discover her voice and validate the kind of leader she wants to be. ?Bravo CD!
Eager for stories about navigating through tough situations. If you have an experience you would like to share, please post it in the comments or send me a direct message and we can chat one-on-one.
My upcoming post focuses on a conversation with SN, an outstanding leader who transitioned from military roles to executive positions in the corporate world.
?
Certified Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, Gluten Free Practitioner and IIN Wellness Master Coach
1 年This is such great advice that I had to pass it on to two people I know that are working for very toxic leaders and struggling. Small companies and even the largest companies where they claim not to tolerate such behavior. I have personally worked with very toxic leaders where I was on eggshells even at a late stage in my corporate career. There is no way out because human resources is a cost center and protects the firm not you- despite what they publicly say- so this leaders advice is exactly what needs to be done- holding your ground against these leaders in an unemotional way. That was never me which is why I’m working for myself finally! I loved all the advice especially for an entrepreneurial person because you create your structure and priorities and focus have to be in place to get sh done. There is constant noise competing for your attention. I think you should send this article to Bloomberg or Forbes! Well done girl!
Senior Deloitte Partner, Board Member Quinnipiac University, former CEO, Chief Risk Officer. A Mentor, Author, A Passion for Positive Change
1 年Thank you for the shout out, Bonnie. And keep up the great work here. Interesting, fun and a great learning opportunity for future and current leaders.
President at RVO Search
1 年Kudos CD! A great bit of managerial JuJitsu…stay centered, speak rationally …most people who use intimidation are actually scared. So if you neither resist nor respond to their hostility, they feel less threatened and it's possible to have a conversation