In recent months the push to censor what people can read has escalated significantly. From parents getting furious in public library board meetings to the U.S. Senate having to weigh in, it is a no-win situation. These meetings play a crucial role in ensuring that diverse perspectives are considered when making decisions about the materials available in our libraries. Occasionally, these meetings may become heated, especially when topics like LGBTQ materials for adolescents come up. While it's important to respect all opinions, it can be challenging to manage the anger and demands of certain parents who want to ban books. In this blog post, we will discuss strategies for dealing with angry parents in a positive manner that helps diffuse the situation and promotes productive dialogue. The cliche phrase “can’t please everyone”, is well-applied here. Most people are unaware of the collection development policy as outlined by the ALA and why would they be aware of it? The average person going to the library, if they do, doesn’t know that librarians have to have an MLIS or that there’s a massive organization supporting their work. According to an article on the site Political Librarian, “Censorship is an act of control, driven by a combustible mix of power, privilege, and fear. Large pro-censorship movements historically occur in response to social changes that alarm a privileged population, with the goal of dictating access to information for the entire community that is in accord with the personal beliefs of the privileged group. The urge to censor is rooted in the use of raw power…” It is this need for control and power that is part of the human condition and therefore will never be fully resolved.?
Agitated parents will not care about the policy poster hanging on the wall, telling them that it’s standard practice to make “risquè” content available to their child. When people get upset, and other parents join them, a mob mentality forms. This reaction has been happening since the dawn of humankind and the first group disagreement. However, there are ways to manage the situation. A website named We Are Teachers has an excellent article about this matter called “The Principal’s Guide to Managing Angry Parents”.
Below are some pointers that could be helpful in your next interaction:
- Preparation is KeyBefore the meeting, prepare yourself with relevant facts and figures about the importance of diverse and inclusive materials in libraries. Having a well-informed standpoint can help you confidently address concerns.
- Stay Calm:?When confronted by angry parents, it's essential to remain composed. Listen to their concerns attentively and respond respectfully, even if you disagree with their opinions. Easier said than done in many cases, right? But vital. Some people are looking for a fight. They are verbal warriors on the battlefield of power seeking someone, anyone, to engage.?The best thing to do is use every technique in your arsenal to stay calm as they scream and yell in your face. Hopefully, they don’t, but just in case they do, it's good to know how to calm yourself. As the article tells us, “Try relaxing your shoulders, unclenching your jaw, and breathing deeply. When you can stay calm, you can stay in control.”
- Acknowledge Their ConcernsLet them know that you understand their concerns. Showing empathy and respect for their perspective can go a long way in defusing tensions. Everyone wants to feel heard and understood when upset, especially in situations where a parent feels their child may be threatened.
- Stick to Library PoliciesRemind parents that libraries typically have established policies and procedures for material selection. Explain how these policies work and assure them that the library board follows these guidelines. Also, tell them to write down their concerns so the board has a written document to refer to about the concerns. It could help keep communication and expectations clear.?
- Highlight the Value of Intellectual FreedomEmphasize the principle of intellectual freedom, a cornerstone of library services. Explain how it ensures access to a wide range of materials, allowing individuals to make their own choices about what to read. Many people believe this shouldn’t apply to children, which is a matter of perspective.?
- Suggest AlternativesInstead of banning books, suggest alternatives like age-appropriate sections in the library or creating a parental advisory system where parents can be notified when their child checks out certain materials. This was implemented in some school libraries in 2022 as discussed in the article “Technology For Parent Monitoring Of Student Library Use Is Being Developed By Follett: This Week’s Book Censorship News, April 1, 2022”. This idea was implemented in Bedford Public Schools in Virginia, giving parents the option to fill out a form which opted them into notifications about their child's book selections. It should be noted, if an older child wants to read the book, they don’t have to check it out but can read it right there in the library if they want to. So the system, while providing a measure of control to parents, isn’t perfect.??
- Promote DialogueEncourage open dialogue between parents and library staff. Suggest that a committee or panel can review concerns and make recommendations for book placement. Having a mediator for these conversations may be necessary to keep tempers cool. Encouraging the parents to become more involved in a positive way with their children's reading habits can benefit both the library and the parent-child relationship.
- Offer Informational SessionsOrganize sessions where experts or authors can provide context and engage with parents to address concerns about specific books. Making these sessions available virtually would increase participation by parents whose schedules make it difficult to be in-person at the library meeting.
- Leverage Community SupportEncourage community members who support diversity and inclusion to attend meetings and express their views. A diverse group of voices can help balance the conversation. However, it can also cause more problems, so it may be helpful to have a visible list of rules of engagement that everyone agrees to adhere to. These types of group rules are used in Facebook groups and enforced by admins, so it’s reasonable to utilize a similar agreement for the types of meetings.?
- Maintain TransparencyEnsure transparency in library board meetings. Let parents know how decisions are made, when they can be involved, and how they can make suggestions.?
Dealing with angry parents in public library board meetings can be challenging, but it's essential to maintain a respectful and positive atmosphere. By being well-prepared, empathetic, and open to dialogue, you can help diffuse tense situations and find constructive solutions that respect the diverse needs of your community while upholding the principles of intellectual freedom. Remember, public libraries are spaces for all, and promoting inclusivity and diversity is a shared goal that benefits everyone.
