Balika Divas: Day of your Girl

‘Is baar Ladki hui hai.’ (It’s a girl.) A woeful tone escaped the nurse’s mouth. Dadi: Toh kya hua? (So what?) Nurse: (Wide eyed) Kya hua? Arre ladki hui hai! Isse bura kya ho sakta hai! (You’re saying so what? Well, you’ve got a baby girl! What worse could happen?!) I was so thrilled when I heard the two of them and then went in to see my newborn angel face she looked so pretty in the candle light (yes that night was power outage and there were no generators in the hospital then, so she was born at midnight and gave us the best gift of the world. I hugged my mon and she too was so happy having a Lakshmi (Dhan ki peti) daughter in our family as I did not have any siblings so we always wanted a daughter and now we were blessed with her.

In a few moments, I came back and approached the same nurse with a box full of Kaju Katli and Boondi ke laddu. (Indian sweets). The nurse looked up at him in utter bewilderment. Me: Aap hi toh ho jisne sabse pehle itni achhi khabar sunai. Sabse pehla mooh meetha aapka hi karenge. (You’re the first person who gave us this good news. You deserve to be treated first. She looked at me in utter shock. Later, my father also went around the entire hospital and treated everyone. People were completely taken aback to see a person celebrating the birth of a daughter ( it was early eighties then). It was quite interesting for my family to have a girl child after all.

A daughter born in the family after first son was like God has heard my prayers and gave us best of both the worlds. After my daughter was born, only she is and she is the one I cared for the most. I cared for my wife little less than I cared for my daughter and I haven’t cared about myself at all. I gained a few pounds of weight due to my carelessness about myself. Haven’t visited gym in those months. I used to work out regularly before that. I had no preference for food anymore. Anything and everything is fine. I loved singing with her, playing with her, make awkward faces and voices to see her smiling. The list is too long and too personal to be disclosed here as I know my life has started revolving around the most beautiful/loving/sweet girl on earth.

Having her is the most beautiful thing happened in life. She has the smile to die for. I hate it when I read about someone abandoning a daughter. Daughters are Angels. How can a parent leave that innocent princess alone? I cannot imagine my life without my daughter now. She is the one I want to live for. Having a Girl child is not a burden. Give them chance, and they will definitely prove their mettle. They can be Independent and Self sufficient, provided they are given enough opportunities. Guys, Its true that girls deserve love irrespective of their excellence in studies and sports. But even today in India, ‘Dowry’ is a sad reality. Most families need to realise the fact that even if girls aren't good in studies or sports, they deserve love like any other boy child. My answer is just is portrayal of millions of similar families in India. The thinking needs to be changed to more positivity.

I have seen many people cry, try to do abortion by ultra sound and do a lot other tactics to get rid of girl child due to feel burden because of her and being an introvert I always tried to make them understand because I knew they are illiterate and will remain despite being rich. I can't imagine my life without her and now thinking about her future. I let her to study from one of the top schools of the town so that she developed some qualities which help India in some way and did never force her to fulfill any of my dream like most of parents do.

Exciting of naming her, taking her on trips, and what not were planned. List were made, sweets had to be distributed after her 40th day. The whole family was transformed into a celebration home, now who just wanted the best for our new girl child. The man who used to go early and come late from work, was reluctant to go to work I am always taunted literally as now they have to push me to leave for work.

This baby was a pure bundle of joy, may be we could not buy her Lamborghini, or take her to fancy trips . But surely she was an apple of there eye and they just wanted her to be healthy,and happy. It is happiness, proud to have a girl child around. Before I was born, my dad had a severed relationship with his parents because he had gone against their wishes to get married to mom. But all that changed after I was born!

My dad reconciled with his family after my birth and my mother was finally accepted as daughter-in-law by my paternal grandparents. Hence, I have always been the most loved by my parents more than any of my siblings. This is one of the reasons why I have always felt and believed that love is the most powerful emotion in the world. It was love that reunited my dad with his family. It was love that made my mother respected so much that no decision in the family (dad’s side as well as her side) is even considered let alone taken without her consent.

Till date, she always keeps on telling me, I am the biggest gift to her life, despite how many foolish acts I committed to, despite how a few wrong friendships influenced me, despite how I hurt her at times. Yes, she is so scared, to go out alone, to permit her to go to late night parties. She is afraid I might be too strict for this new world, she is a strong lady never insecure, she is concerned if she goes out with friends and don’t call me when she reaches the destination (well, you know how society is) I would never be without a concern.

Now after she has become a parent of a lovely daughter herself, she realises all those strict restrictions I had put on her, the same fears every parent has, but because of these, I had imposed restrictions on her, and never I just let her fly. The day she has to leave me at our home after marriage she was sad, for, a new place and a totally different culture, but her trust in me overcame them. Finally, having a girl is amazing. Here I would like to quote a line from the novel, “House Of Cards”, by Sudha Murthy- “ As a girl grows she becomes a friend to her mom, whereas a son becomes a stranger.” Cheers to a girl child of each family!