Balancing the Kindness Ledger with a Contra Entry.
Asif Durrani
Doctoral Student — Transforming Human Consciousness With One Deep & Original Thought Every Morning ??
Kindness is Isopraxis: you get what you give.
We have all noticed people in our society whom we label as “unkind person”; at least once in our lifetime, we all have experienced such an encounter. Our judgment of labeling someone “unkind” occurs during an exchange of sentiments, where we perceive that the kindness we extended was not reciprocated equally.
If you ask such an “unkind person” privately, “Why did you react like that?”
The response might surprise you: “You get what you give.”
If you have encountered such an “unkind person” and received unkindness in return, remember that it’s likely because that’s all they can reciprocate; they have nothing else to offer except more unkindness. The act of reciprocation by an “unkind person” is a consequence of the accumulation of unkindness they’ve experienced from others over time. As time progresses, all these instances of unkindness accumulate inside them like entries in a ledger, which we might call the ‘kindness ledger’.
The accumulation of unkind words acts like Velcro, gradually building up until it reaches a threshold. At that point, it only takes a moment of interaction to ignite the powder keg of emotions inside that person.
Next time you encounter an “unkind person,” consider responding to their unkindness with your own kindness. This can help offset the accumulation of unkindness in that person, essentially balancing their “kindness ledger.” Avoid sparking the powder keg of emotions within them; instead, preserve your own emotional stability. It’s not about trying to “teach a lesson to fellow humans”; rather, it’s about showing empathy and extending compassion. Empathy and compassion supersede any teachings on how to handle unkindness, acting as a counterbalance to negativity, much like a contra entry in an account book.
Beware of falling into the trap of believing that “Kindness is Isopraxis: you get what you give,” as Gandhi wisely cautioned, “An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind.”
Trying to extinguish fire with more fire is futile. Since you never know when you might encounter that person again, instead of adding to the cycle of unkindness, let them experience the warmth of your kindness, which can help counteract the negativity within them. If each of us gradually responds to unkindness with compassion, we have the potential to eradicate unkindness from this planet. It may only take one generation to significantly transform the world into a kinder place.
Alas, remember that this planet is the only place you meet people from both worlds, the future residents of hell and heaven. Treat your fellow residents nicely; you will not see them all in the next world.
The next time you encounter unkindness, choose to respond with kindness and compassion instead of being isopraxis. By doing so, we can neutralize negativity and nurture a kind-hearted society. Contrary to the saying, “Kindness is Isopraxis: you get what you give,” true kindness often means giving more than you receive.
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Also published at Medium:
Author: Asif Durrani
Dated: 10 May 2024