Balancing Inside and Outside: The Art of Public Speaking

It’s an essential skill - we all know it and it’s also the one closest to our bones, our blood, our embarrassment, our hidden fears.

It’s just the way it is - communication takes two and where there are two all the possibilities and all the tensions can both arise.

With my background in theatre, communication “should” be easy and of course on various levels of technique (vocal production, dynamic, posture, movement etc) it is because since a child doing drama classes and then a teenage studying theatre, martial arts, modern dance and so on, I have consistently built my skills. However on other levels related to relationship building I was and still am a gauche beginner.

That fear of being a “Billy no mates” or even worse “not being able to organise a piss up in a brewery” were my secret fears.

Put me on a stage with a script - no problem - but leave me to my own devices and I was lost. The book worm in me always had more to say that I could spit out in one sentence. The written word is still easier for me than doing recorded videos. Whilst a “live” meeting or workshop is fine, I still am very self critical with recording videos because my multimedia artist, film-maker kicks in with a ton of expectations and evaluations.

That is fine. We all have our tendencies. The idea I give the clients I train on their communication skills and marketing is to raise their average across their self-expression in the written word, spoken word, in still and moving image.

Or at least I like to get my students to realise that we can play across various formats - at the end of the day it’s all communication be it smoke signals, morse code or piles of sticks.

Don't Do It Alone

And communication means “the other” - it’s no solo affair.

And it is not easy - never has been, never will be - precisely because it involves others who have their rights to understand and respond.

Right, so now I’ve reminded you of how scary it all is, I need like a good teacher to remind you that it is a skill you can improve. Perfect? Probably not. Enjoy? Yes!

I wish I remembered the reference but once on Radio 4 I heard an interview with an actress who had worked with Dame Judie Dench, and according to this contemporary of hers, Dame Dench before walking on stage would say “Welcome to the ice.”

Amd I really feel that to be true in each and every communication.

Indeed here I am today only writing this monthly newsletter after feeling inspired by chatting to a younger colleague Andrea Petrek who as an lawyer suffering in her early career has turned her attention to empowering other women on their journey.

In 2021 and 2022 I worked with Petrek as one of her support coaches and in our training sessions she talked about the importance of “self-soothing” - not “self-care” but self-soothing. It stood out for me partly because English is Petrek’s second language so when she says a word it is like re-discovering it.

Today in our conversation Petrek reminded me that I had not done one of these “communication skills” monthly Linkedin newsletters. It’s true - I had begun to build some impossible criteria for myself.

We all do it. Yet those impossible criteria also are the reasons we don’t start, we don’t say what we want to say and when we stop staying what we want to say, before long we don’t know what to say.

And does it even matter?

Half the time it is the reaching out that matters. Both Petrek and I are reformed lone wolves. Today she “reached out” to me and told me that I had taught her the power of “following up.” In turn I’d learnt it from amazing creative coach Samantha Bennett who helps over-thinkers, when in 2006 I discovered her coaching company, at that time called “The Organised Artist”, because as a mid-career artist I had run aground. Bennett is an actor with heaps of improvisation training so her sessions were always vibrant, zany, hysterically funny and exceedingly well thought through (no doubt this is why her productivity and time management courses in Linkedin Learning have had hundreds of thousand views).

Reach Out Now

So now I have reminded you that communication is a sticky business but yes, you need to get your hands dirty.

Where have you frozen? Where are you ignoring the call to speak? Where have your judgements got super out of control?

First off, drop your guard.

Lower your standards - you might be surprised to hear me say that, shouldn’t we always be raising our standards?

Well, maybe not. In a three day workshop I lead many years back at Aberystwyth University drama department around 2002 as part of a research project led by Daniel Meyer-Dinkgraffe for actors with stage fright, I used my Neuro Linguistic Programming training to get the group of ten or so to let go of hyper vigilance. The image of “dropping standards” came up as a strong metaphor because “standards” when you think about it, are raised when an army goes to war. The flag is held high by the “standard bearer.”

So to what extend are your “standards” driving you mad and sending out a signal that this is an "us or them" situation, whereas we all know that the best speakers create a space of “us.”

Here’s a nice image from a famous actor who worked with UK director Peter Brook.

“Balancing inside and outside. Moving without moving. Quiet but not quiet. Like riding a horse. A good rider can move very fast and cover a lot of ground, but he or she never seems agitated. The horse might be running across fields and ditches, through the forest, over the stream, and yet the rider remains tranquil and almost motionless. The actor’s mind is the rider, the body is the horse.” - Yoshi Oida, The Invisible Actor

Good metaphors for delivering speeches - moving as one with your audience.

Moving as one with your message.

Your words travelling out to meet curious minds.

A dance.

A tennis match.

A game.

A joy!!!!!

Take out some of the angst of “getting it right” - or hey, take out ALL the angst.

More Mindset & Good Practice / Technique

Some more images that I shared last week to my Stage Presence Central email group:-

• Breathe out as you walk up to where you will be presenting
• Breathe in through the nose, filling down into the stomach
• Smile at the audience as you breathe out
• Remember to pitch your voice lower than you think
• Imagine you are reaching out into every corner of the room

Feel like you belong and are welcome.

First words are not your first words: Make sure your first word on stage is not the first word you have uttered all day. The voice is an instrument that needs to be warmed up just like any sports person would warm up. So whether it is singing in the shower before you leave, or humming in the car on the way - find a way to get your voice moving before you get up on stage.

Some warm up exercises at the side of the stage will help.

• Deep breathing even whilst sat listening to other speakers will help. If you are travelling by public transport you can hum along to the background sounds without worrying that someone will hear you.

NOTE TO SELF: If you need to film some video marketing materials you need to get really calm and relaxed so that your real warm self can come out.

• Take ten deep breaths before filming.
• If you want to amp your mood then watch a couple funny and uplifting videos.
• Get your rhythm by walking circles around the room to get your blood flowing.

There we go.

“How long has it been since your last confession?” used to be the statement that sent us into a melt down of guilt, now “how long since your last monthly newsletter?” has the same effect.

Saying to oneself “it’s only monthly” doesn’t always make it easier - the “standards” can creep in all over the place.

As I go to post this I notice it is FIVE months since my last edition. So I put to bed my bright ideas that it could be better with some pictures and let it go to reach you now.

Hit send.

Think of gathering. Think of being with others - no agenda, no standards - that alone will take you to the next step.

Deborah Claire Procter

P.S. Send me a message or just say “me please” in the comments and I’ll get you my daily Stage Presence Central email list which gives you a PDF with extra tips on signing up.

P.P.S. If you have a particular block/fear around public speaking and presentations that is setting you back, send me an email question and if I have any tip then I'll email back [email protected] (NB There is no website at present but you can email that address).

P.P.P.S. Big thanks to LinkedIn who have made possible "reaching out", "linking up", and "gathering around" across so many barriers, and to Kevin Knebl CMEC, HCC ?? who taught me everything I know about Linkedin back in 2008 or so.