Balancing Ambition and Motherhood: My Way of Crafting a Life That Honors Both

Freedom of choice is an important part of being human. There are endless effects that can happen based on the choices you make, no matter how small they may seem. A lot of the time, we think that buying a house, getting married, or separated are the "big" decisions. But those are really just the little choices. The decisions that really affect our lives—the ones that affect our health, our position, and our power—are often the ones we think are the least important because we make them alone. These are the decisions that have the most power over our lives, though.

As a sequel to my last post which you can read here: https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/theexcellencejoshua_theglobalexcellence-parenting-storiesthatmatter-activity-7233865643840696322-Deec?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop I have shared how I am personally navigating both.

While balancing a busy job and the duties of being a mother, I reached a crossroads where I began to question the very nature of the decisions I was making. I was hit hard by reality when I got my son's school report and saw that he was having trouble. It hurt my heart to think about the things I was giving up and how they were affecting my child. It seemed like I had to choose between following my dreams and losing touch with my son, or giving up my job to be the mother I thought he needed. But as I thought about these different wants, I realized that picking one over the other isn't always the best option. Sometimes it's about knowing when to do things, setting priorities, and embracing the different stages of life.

Every season of life comes with its own set of sacrifices and goals. There are times when your job is more important than your family, and times when your family needs more of your attention. You need to be aware of these seasons and make decisions that fit where you are in life. You will have to make sacrifices, but that doesn't mean you have to give up on your dreams or ignore your family. It means knowing that there is a right time to do each thing—a time to work on your job, a time to take care of your family, and a time to do both at the same time.

The fact that I don't have to choose between either/or was one of the freeing things I learned. Taking a "and" attitude can be powerful. You can be a good mother and work toward your job goals at the same time. But this needs help, which is something many of us are afraid to even ask for. I thought I had to do everything–that being a good mother meant taking care of everything myself–for too long. But I've learned that this idea only makes me angry and burned out.

As moms, we need to learn how to use the people who help us. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it's a way to get things done. You can be there for your kids and your job at the same time with the help of family, hired help, or people in your neighborhood. The most important thing is that you must trust your help. Let them take care of the things they can handle while you focus on the things you can do alone. It's not about giving up power; it's about working together and realizing that even though you are the best mother, other people can help your child grow and be healthy. A typical example of this is, you can outsource cooking so you get to do other things and prioritize spending time with the kid(s) and just being present...

You have to let go of guilt and the idea that you have to do everything by yourself in order to trust the people who are there for you. It's about realizing that help isn't just a nice-to-have; it's essential to keeping up with your two jobs. Giving other people some tasks to do frees up your time and energy so you can focus on the most important things—the ones you can only make with your kids.

In order to keep handling work and family, I am learning to make decisions that are right for the time of year. I'm learning how to set priorities without feeling bad about it, how to ask for and accept help without feeling like I'm not good enough, and how to trust that my support system will help me get through this. The power of choice is not in how big the choice is, but in being smart enough to pick what really counts at the right time and with the right help.

Remember, if you are a woman reading this, that the decisions you make can change your life, your family, and your future. Don't let the false choice of either/or hold you back. Accept the "and" method, find people you can trust for support, and make choices that fit the stage of your life you are in. Even though it won't be easy, you can make your dreams come true and your family does well at the same time.

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