Balancing Ambition

As women, what do you think of when you hear the term 'Ambition'?

• Potential?
• Growth?
• Power?
• Feminism?
• Drive?

Utilised in the right way, our ambition can be all of these things and more. The dictionary definition being “a strong desire to do or achieve something”. But what I am seeing a lot of with my clients and in myself - is that our ambition is stifling us.

My ambition has always been a huge driver for me and something instilled in me from a young age. It’s led me to set lofty goals and achieve many of them, pivot from corporate life and become a business owner, manifest our forever home.

But it also makes me feel at times that nothing is ever good enough. That there is always more to achieve. I never truly sit back and appreciate my achievements.

I feel that we are the generation behind our mothers - who strove to have it all, at the same time, and became broken because of it. A friend of mine, Nicola has done a huge amount of research into this and how we never saw relaxed women as we were growing up.

And I know I’m not alone in these feelings about questioning ambition - as these are the discussions I have with women every day in 121 coaching and training workshops/programs.

Women that feel that constant internal pressure to do more. To be more. Who would love to unburden themselves from it all.

I also think that like most things in life, our ambition goes through seasons and phases. I found in my early 20s that my ambition was everything - whereas now in my mid 30s it has changed and morphed.?

But I think the solution to this relationship with our ambition is to use it to our advantage.

This will look different to each of you but here are some tips and techniques that have helped the women I support:

Get clear on your goals but also focus on celebrating the progress along the way

Creating clear goals that take you closer to your dreams and visions is key to ensuring you are moving in the right direction. I’ve got a ton of posts on my blog so go check those out for simple structures to set goals.

It’s also key when setting goals to define how you will measure progress and also to celebrate the progress along the way. I always recommend blocking out your diary each week and asking yourself the following questions:

1. What were your wins this week?
2. What didn’t go so well that you’d do differently?
3. What progress did you make to take you closer to your goals?

So often we focus on the outcomes without focusing on the progress and learnings to get there - I also think that is a great metaphor to how we live our lives too. In the everyday mundane moments not the big insta-worthy celebrations.

Practise being in the present and feeling content

This is something that doesn’t come easily to me (!!) but when I focus on it and practise it, it’s so beneficial.

Gratitude listing is a really great way to do this. Making lists or thinking through in your head everything you are grateful for. Connecting in with this really helps to change your mindset and you can’t help but feel more positive. The list can contain big or small things and it’s more about the process than the end result so don’t overthink!

When you feel your mind wandering or overthinking, bring yourself back to the present - focusing on what you can see, hear, smell and taste.

Connect back into your why and purpose

Channelling your energy and ambition is really important. A key part of that is making sure that everything you are doing is taking you closer to your ‘why’ and purpose. For those that?haven’t worked with me before (because I always talk about it!) - your ‘why’ should be your driver. It’s the reason why you do what you do in life and at work and is the direction you are working towards in life.

So often when I work with women that feel stuck or disconnected it is because they aren’t clear on the direction they are moving towards in life/work and the bigger purpose of what they are doing.

Your purpose doesn’t have to be a lofty “I want to solve child poverty”, it can be as simple as wanting to create a career that allows you to work more flexibly and focus more on your hobbies.

I’d love to know your relationship with ambition and how it has changed and adapted throughout your life so please share