The Balancing Act: Nurturing Your Child in a Joint Family

The Balancing Act: Nurturing Your Child in a Joint Family

“Ma`am please advise me how to deal with my in-laws whose overindulgence is spoiling my child?” asked a distressed mother of one of my students. I completely understood her predicament as it is very difficult to be strict with your child when they know they can always run to their grandparents to save them from you!


I can say from experience that living in a joint family can be very fulfilling, providing children with the love and care of multiple generations. However, when grandparents tend to overindulge their grandchildren, maintaining a healthy balance of discipline can become a challenge for the parents. In such situations, it is essential to establish clear boundaries and effective communication within the family to ensure the child's overall development. Here are a few strategies to help deal with overindulging grandparents.

Open Dialogue: Initiate open and respectful conversations with the grandparents about your parenting goals and discipline strategies. Help them understand the importance of maintaining consistent boundaries to foster the child's growth and well-being.

Unified Approach: Collaborate with the grandparents to establish consistent rules and consequences. Present a united front in enforcing these guidelines, ensuring that everyone is on the same page.

Leading by Example: Serve as a role model by demonstrating the desired behaviors and discipline techniques you wish to instill in your child. Grandparents are more likely to follow suit when they witness your positive actions.

Reinforce Positive Discipline: Encourage the grandparents to focus on positive reinforcement rather than excessive indulgence. Praise and reward good behaviors, fostering a sense of responsibility, achievement, and self-discipline in your child.

Clear Communication Channels: Establish effective communication channels between all family members, ensuring that concerns or disagreements can be addressed openly and constructively. Encourage the grandparents to share their thoughts and concerns as well.

Disciplining a child while living in a joint family with overindulging grandparents requires open communication, collaboration, and a unified approach between the adults. By providing a supportive environment that values consistency, positive reinforcement, and mutual understanding, you can strike a balance between discipline and the love and affection provided by grandparents. Remember, it is crucial to work together as a family, respecting each other's perspectives and prioritizing the child's holistic development.


As they say, it takes a village to raise a human baby and each person`s contribution is vital.

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