The Balance of Giving: 4 Ways to Transform Your Kryptonite into a Superpower

The Balance of Giving: 4 Ways to Transform Your Kryptonite into a Superpower

Why Being a Better Giver Starts with Caring for Yourself


Welcome to buildbetter, your weekly guide to understanding and building meaningful relationships in all aspects of your life.

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Read time: 4 minutes


Today at a glance:

  • Topic: Finding the right balance in giving
  • Tactic: Four ways to become an otherish giver
  • Recommendation: Gratitude Plus App
  • Devin's Finds: ??, ??, ??
  • Commitments: ??

If you missed last week's buildbetter, we talked about how to become a better giver. There are three types of givers:

  • Selfish: Givers with high self-interest and low other-interest, resulting in transactional giving where something is always expected in return.
  • Selfless: Givers with high other-interest and low self-interest, who end up giving their time and energy without any regard for their own needs.
  • Otherish: Givers that care about benefiting others but also have ambitious goals for advancing their own interests.

We should all strive to be otherish givers. You may think striving to be a selfless giver is the route to fulfillment, but in reality, when people continually give without concern for their own interest, they are at higher risk for mental and physical health issues.

Research shows that the stress and overload from selfless giving can lead to conflicts amongst colleges, friends and romantic partners. This causes burnout and the result is that selfless givers stop giving all together.

By balancing concern for themselves and for others, otherish givers don't face the same negative health effects. In fact, by avoiding burnout, otherish givers can give much more over the course of a lifetime!

But it begs the question, how do we find the right balance when it comes to giving?


Finding the Right Balance in Giving

1. Chunking vs. Sprinkling

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Best of luck building,

Devin

Devin Keane

Making meaningful connection a habit | Building the positive BeReal | Writing the newsletter for meaningful relationships

9 个月
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