The Balance Between Reflection and Resilience [Weekly Dose Of Wisdom]

I was listening to a podcast the other day, exploring how self-reflective people often feel desolated because of how few can appreciate their nuanced thoughts. I'm not entirely sure I agree with this. Well, at least I should say that hasn't been my experience because as I started putting my thoughts out more publicly through my blog a few years back, they seemed to appeal to more people than I would have thought. This is a fascinating phenomenon. I suppose, in some sense, everyone has an inner voice that’s been ignored for a while, and when it is validated externally by someone willing to speak about it openly, it reignites their fire of conscience once more.

Speaking of conscience, I’m always consciously aware of my thoughts despite how optimistic my nature is. I often see the glass half full, but at the same time, I'm very mindful of how things can map out horribly wrong. My conscience has its merits at times. However, it can also be a heavy burden to bear. Sometimes, I wonder if the depth of my consciousness is the root source of my unnecessary suffering. Part of the reason is that I tend to feel deeply about everything important to me. So deeply that sometimes I wonder if it's a blessing or a curse. I suppose it is both a blessing and a curse. If handled well, self-consciousness can be the best thing to happen to anyone; if it isn't done right, it can be very punishing. In some sense, when people become self-conscious, what it really means is they become anxiously aware of their shortcomings. They overthink because their mind moves at a million miles a minute. They are sad because the world cannot fool them like everyone else. They don't get along with some people because they look at things differently from the rest. They know they are not wise because they are smart enough to know that they don't know everything. So, self-consciousness per se is generally associated with negative emotion. Now, does that mean we need to relinquish it? I don't think so. This is because if we are made self-conscious by one of our inadequacies, we want to remove that instead of the self-consciousness. Self-consciousness can guide and expand our lives with diverse perspectives. So the actual question is how can we maintain our self-consciousness without being tormented by it. That's a tough one, and I'm still seeking an answer. I suppose the only way out is through. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that most of the time, we need to voluntarily open ourselves up to our suffering continuously so that we can fortify and develop our strength to withstand it. It doesn't mean we can slay the dragon in our first encounter. However, moving step by step into the abyss voluntarily will enable us to build ourselves up to a point when we can slay the dragon. But when we get to that point, do we even need to kill it? The hidden wisdom here is that anything that seems like unbearable suffering at the start of your journey won't be by the end of it. We’ve eventually grown to appreciate the blessing of learning how to ride it instead.