The Balance Between Limiting Beliefs & Realism

I hear a lot of talk these days on how the reason most people aren’t getting ahead is because of their limiting beliefs.

While I believe this is partially true, I've been asking myself how this ties into being realistic and not living in a fairytale world.?

Surely there must be some common ground here.

I want to dive deeper into this subject and talk about my own inner dialogues I’ve been having regarding this.

Growing up I was absolutely fascinated and in love with the game of basketball.

To the point where I slept with my ball, dribbled it every chance I got, and practiced before school, at lunch, and immediately after school. It became an obsession.?

I wanted to become better every day and maximize my potential.?

I remember vividly one day telling a guy at the park who was a few years older than me that I wanted to play in the NBA.?

He looked at me as if I just said the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard and said to me?

“Come on, the NBA? There’s no chance you’re going to make the NBA, why don’t you come up with a more realistic dream? You’d have to eat, sleep and breathe basketball and even then, you’re only 5’8 tops.”

I felt attacked, but at the same time I felt the need to prove him wrong.

It was a new feeling for me at this moment, I felt as if I was either crazy and delusional or he’s just too closed minded and doesn’t understand me and how my mind works. Regardless, it motivated me even more.

Now spoiler alert (I didn't make the NBA) but I can’t help but imagine how good I would have become if I didn’t have this dream of playing at the highest level.

I would have practiced less, lowered my self standards, and daydreamed far less.

This line of thought reminds me of the old saying of “shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you’ll be among the stars”.

I find that typically when you have such lofty goals as to make X amount of money in a time period, become a professional this, or blow up as a music artist, etc…. these ambitious ideas come with expectations.

Expectations of self and external expectations as well. This brings me to the whole point of this post.?

Where’s the balance between a limiting belief and realism?

I’ve found on my journey so far in life, that having realistic goals is “safe”.

There’s no real let down if you don’t achieve it, it’s usually attainable without an overbearing amount of physical or mental strain, and generally easier.

Which is fine. Here’s the problem though, having ONLY realistic goals and beliefs that don’t stretch you in any capacity or create uncomfortable situations will result in a lifestyle where you’re never going to reach your full potential.?

I mean sure, there are smaller rewards to say, setting a goal to save $2,000 over 6 months. When you reach it, you feel a bit of satisfaction and accomplishment. It took a bit of lifestyle change and mental discipline to not buy an item off amazon or buy new clothes you didn’t need.

I would ask you though, if you were completely honest with yourself after the goal was achieved, if you thought it was overly difficult? Would you say you’re a new and improved person because of it? Were you pushing yourself and facing uncomfortable situations to do it?

My guess is the answers to those questions would be no.

Now, let’s look at lofty goals and beliefs that have no regard for self-limitations and that most people would consider unachievable.

With these beliefs, you’ll find that there’s no easy road, and it’s going to take a lot of discomfort and creativity to live life this way.?

Here’s the problem with having no self-limiting beliefs though, you’re going to fall short a lot.?

Again, it’s fine but it’s something to keep in mind. The biggest allure here is that even if you fall short, you’ll still end up further along than if you had set a realistic goal that was very achievable but didn’t require much physical or mental effort.?

I believe that the most sustainable and healthy approach would be to fuse the two.?

Set 2 goals, micro and macro scaled. 1 achievable goal or belief that you know you can accomplish and 1 goal that if it doesn’t sound beyond your current capacity to pull off, it’s not lofty enough. While these are goals, remember that it’s the belief behind the goal that we’re focused on. The belief that you can do it.

You can start off by setting a daily one, a monthly one, and a yearly one.

For example:

Daily-

1. Today I’m going to go to the gym and hit my new PR on my pull ups (pushing my limited belief)

2. Today I’m going to skip Starbucks and make a coffee at home and save the money (Easily achievable)

Monthly-

1. This month I’m going to lose 10 pounds of fat and put on 1 pound of muscle (pushing my limited belief)
2. This month I want to save $100 by not eating out and not spending any money online (achievable)

Yearly-

1. This year I want to get in the best shape of my life and enter a men’s physique or bikini contest (pushing my limited belief)
2. This year I want to save $2400 and keep saving for my future. (Very achievable)

What you’ll find is your limited beliefs are harder to surpass, but if you do the reward will be much higher.

Your realistic goals and beliefs you should be hitting almost every time, and you’ll find they will be less fulfilling but still needed to make progress.

Doing this, you still push yourself to a level of discomfort while you push your limiting beliefs, but you also reward yourself when you reach your achievable goals.

They give satisfaction and you will feel accomplished when you complete them.?

In life, anything that comes easy requires less effort. This makes it feel less valuable to you.

Finding a happy medium of limiting beliefs and realism is the key to growth, happiness, and peace.

Thanks for reading!?