Baker's Dozen: 13 Humorous Spins on Tired Interview Questions

Baker's Dozen: 13 Humorous Spins on Tired Interview Questions

Here's a list of some of the most cliché job interview questions that applicants frequently encounter. I've included the way I would answer them. Put your answers in the comments. Share and tag anyone that you feel needs a laugh today.

Tell me about yourself.

Answer

Do you want to know about who I am today, or who I was before witness protection?

What are your greatest strengths?

Answer

Not getting caught coming in late to work.

What are your biggest weaknesses?

Answer

You don't want to be near me when I pass gas.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Answer

Not here.

Why should we hire you?

Answer

So, that you can stop having to interview so many other people.

Why did you leave your last job?

Answer

Because I'm pretty sure you are going to give me this job.

Why do you want to work here?

Answer

There's a really cool coffee shop down the street. I'd love to be closer to it.

Tell me about a time you handled a challenging situation.

Answer

I can't, I had to sign an NDA.

How do you handle stress and pressure?

Answer

Not well.

What is your greatest accomplishment?

Answer

Being the fastest swimming sperm.

Do you prefer to work alone or on a team?

Answer

When I'm working alone, I prefer a team. When I'm working with a team, I prefer to be alone.

How do you handle criticism?

Answer

Not too damn well, how do you handle it? Would you like some right here and right now?

Do you have any questions for us?

Answer

Don't you get bored doing so many interviews?


What are your answers? Put them in the comments.

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Tamica Sears

Executive Coach | Fractional HR Leader| DisruptHR Host Building Healthy, Profitable, & Inclusive Workplaces

11 个月

I don't know if you've had the pleasure of meeting Jenny Locklin EGO, PMS, LOL but this is right up her alley! She is amazing and we are hoping to snag her for DisruptHR Phoenix in October.

Doug Thompson

Professional Speaker | Emcee | 3x International Bestselling Co-Author | Expert in Sales & Storytelling | ex-Microsoft

11 个月

Roger Wilkerson If you are in tech you were probably asked a question with no complete answer like the “How many piano tuners are there in the world?” The answer should be “Enough”

Roger Wilkerson

Shattering LinkedIn’s rules without apology—and inviting you along for the ride. Visit socialedge.boutique for details

11 个月
Roger Wilkerson

Shattering LinkedIn’s rules without apology—and inviting you along for the ride. Visit socialedge.boutique for details

11 个月
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