Baggage Handling

It’s no surprise that I’ve written frequently on the subject of forgiveness – it happens to be the same subject I’ve struggled with frequently. The struggle has been both personal (stemming from abuse in childhood and in marriage) and spiritual (a sense that while we are commanded to forgive and have been given the supreme example in Jesus Himself, the way in which we approach forgiveness is not always grounded in truth). Most recently, I’ve shared my epiphany that much of our misunderstanding of what forgiveness looks like originates in our confusing it with healing and reconciliation.?

Today I had a similar thought about what we Catholics call “offering up our sufferings to Christ” and what Protestants call “laying down our sufferings at the foot of the Cross.” If the emphasis of these admonitions is on the object – Jesus, the Cross on which He died for us – so far, so good. It’s the other half of the phrases – the “offering up,” the “laying down” – that is problematic and that I want to address now.

I don’t have answers – I’m still very much in the “struggling” part of this but am starting to see some things that are revealing.

In the characterizations of “offering up” and “laying down,” there is the implication that your suffering is a separate, disembodied entity – that hurt, anger, betrayal are mere artifacts that you can hold on to or relocate at will. This has implications not only for suffering but for forgiveness as well. The sad / bad thing in your life must be relinquished, and should you fail to do so and continue to suffer, you have only yourself to blame. There is even an implicit shame, as if you are an obstinate toddler holding on to something to which you have no right. (Add to this the wildly popular characterization of unforgiveness as a ticking dirty bomb that is even now leaking radioactive material all over you because you’re too pigheaded to relinquish it to the nice man from the bomb squad.)

There’s a famous line from either a book or a movie – probably the latter, and I tried to discover its origin, to no avail – that has been incorporated into popular culture in endless ways: “Hand over the ____, and no one gets hurt.”?

Sometimes it feels as if this is what we are commanded to do when confronted with suffering or pain – “Hand it over! Just lay it down and walk away, nice and slow.” As if this is a hostage situation, except the suffering soul isn’t the hostage: he’s the bad guy, and his emotions are a lethal weapon. Well, ouch.

What if it’s not so cut-and-dried? What if our difficult emotions are tangled up in our very souls, our very perceptions – right or wrong – of ourselves? Suddenly they’re not so discrete, so easily dispensed with. And suddenly it seems that perhaps methodically disentangling them is a necessary first step to dealing with them – as opposed to some kind of traumatic, anesthesia-less emotional cauterization.?

With one notable exception (which I will address in a moment), I don’t see Scriptural support for the idea that you should, in the words of an old World War II-era Andrews Sisters’ song, “Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile!” What I see Scriptural support for is sharing in suffering: bearing one another’s burdens, taking the yoke of Christ upon you (He doesn’t say you will relinquish a yoke entirely). When, instead of bearing our neighbor’s burden, we tell him to take it over to the Cross instead, the message we’re sending is “Give that garbage to Jesus, ‘cause I sure don’t want it!”?

Let me say here that I do not pretend to fully understand the concept of “offering it up.” Though I’m Catholic, the meaning of this teaching still eludes me. (In my defense, I'm new at this.) I suspect that maybe it’s a semantic issue – that “offering it up” is not, in fact, analogous to “laying it down at the foot of the Cross” and has a more nuanced meaning. I believe this because on the face of it, “offering it up” is antithetical to the concept of participating in the sufferings of Christ. I see this latter concept in tradition (St. Justin Martyr, St. Irenaeus of Lyons, St. Cyprian of Carthage) and in Scripture (1 Peter 4:13, 2 Corinthians 1:5, Philippians 3:10).?

However… I’d like to suggest that what we really mean – and that what we should really say – is that in our suffering, we should offer up / lay down our very selves. That’s what Christ wants, anyway – I don’t believe He’s content to be some kind of divine Hazardous Emotional Materials Drop-off Site. He wants all of us – our thoughts, words, deeds, joys, and sufferings – our whole being.

Another way to look at it: instead of transferring our situational / emotional baggage over to Jesus, what if we let Jesus in to where that baggage currently resides – i.e., our hearts? That has the dual benefit of 1) letting Jesus in (where He wants to be anyway) and 2) acknowledging that our baggage may need to be lightened (through healing) before it can vacate the premises.?

One more analogy – in certain surgical procedures, a growth must be carefully disentangled from the surrounding tissues or organs. This takes the skilled hand of a skilled Physician, and it takes time.?

I think these perspectives are much more consistent with traditional Church teaching and Scripture, not to mention with good mental health practices, than what modern theology / self-help culture?exhorts the sufferer to do.?

I mentioned an exception. It mentions “casting,” and it appears twice (at least) in Scripture: “Cast your burden on the Lord” (Psalm 55:22) and “Cast all your anxieties on Him” (1 Peter 5:7). I’m not sure how to square these verses with everything else I’ve said. No Scripture is irrelevant, and Scripture does not contradict itself. When I run into something like this, something that stumps me, I conclude that it is my understanding that is flawed, not the word of God. Somehow both things – the exhortation to “cast” and the call to share / participate in suffering – are true. I just don’t yet know how.?

But this has given me a great deal to reflect upon – and once again, helped me to understand a concept that I’ve been wrestling with for a while.

And to think I arrived at this while walking around the zoo on a chilly day. The Lord works in mysterious ways. ??

#lent #catholic #suffering #offeringitup