Bad vibes don't make healthy lives

To my ex-managers, colleagues and friends - this is for you. Thank you for teaching me that a bad working culture is exactly what I don't need.

Jan 2021 was my first year anniversary of going from an employee to an entrepreneur. I was unprepared for entrepreneurship but over corporate politics. Despite the pandemic, running and leading my own business was the healthiest decision I made - for me and my mind.

Here are my reflection points and promises for the year ahead.

Entrepreneuring isn't easy. Or for everyone.

Entrepreneurship is tough. The idea of being an entrepreneur is glamorised and the stories clouded by social media. Each time I sit on a panel or deliver a keynote, the audience is wowed by the progression but un-interested in the process. The process is what makes it all worth it at the end and the reason an entrepreneur exists. The end product is only what you see. Don't deny yourself the experience of giving things a go and seeing where they lead.

Unprepared to Entrepreneur.

There's no handbook on how to handle your first year, yet (sign up for the handbook here) and what one should expect. 85% of entrepreneurs suffer from mental health problems, of which many lead to burnout or saying bye to your business. Starting and scaling a business can feel like a continuous prescription of antibiotics - annoying to digest but better for the longterm.

I found myself going back to my old ways of working and you know what they say - "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Year 1 - Figuring it out.

The first year of entrepreneurship was practically spent figuring out how I will keep myself afloat. I had saved enough to keep me going for 12 months. This meant no holidays, expensive purchases or random coffee meetups. Thankfully, COVID19 made sure I stuck to my own promise.

My advice for all budding entrepreneurs is to have at least 6 months worth of savings to cover your basic costs, as very little help is available otherwise.

My first year went extremely well - I was able to generate triple my cashflow forecast, work with leading brands such as Financial Times, Google, Barclays and GoCo Group and even sign a book deal (thanks, Kogan Page). I gave myself the freedom to give new things a go and focused on building my personal brand as a way to say HEY I'M HERE.

However, don't let the successes fool you - these came after 6 months of testing, trialling, failing, undervaluing myself and saying yes to everything, even if it didn't make financial or emotional sense. I also found myself working all hours of the day, waking up in cold sweats wondering if my client had confirmed the proposal and comparing my measure of success to others.

Is it Imposter syndrome ... or is it bad advice?

Regardless of my achievements, there was a constant niggle at the back of my head saying you're not good enough. At first, I thought that was me and my imposter. I educated myself on imposter syndrome and soon realised, I don't feel like an imposter - I am meant to be here.

I then came to the conclusion that it was all the colleagues, managers and friends I had before who would share bad advice, comment on the smallest of things and feel it's okay to put others down by telling them they're not good enough, capable or knowledgable.

It saddened me to think that these passing conversations had unconsciously stuck inside of me and bothered me all this time. The realisation - it's not me - it's them - turned sadness into resentment which eventually repurposed into fuel. I have the pleasure of speaking to 100s of awesome people weekly and turns out, this is something many of us feel. Though I can't quantify it, I can share that we must stop commenting on peoples' weaknesses only because they're not your envisioned strengths.

Once I shifted my mindset, things started to fall into place. After long hours, sleepless nights and moments of feeling incompetent - I was reminded that the reason I took on this life was to control the conditions of the working environment - a toxic working culture, in reality, or in your own mind - isn't healthy.

The bad vibes are fuelling me to keep going - reminding me to do more - comforting me when I champion myself.

As a boss, you create a culture. For yourself, your colleagues and your clients. As an entrepreneur, it's in your best interest to put your health first, to embed a working culture which is productive and to focus on happiness as an ultimate measure of success.

What are some things I have learnt on the journey so far?

1. You hold the key to your own calendar - Organise your day to suit how you work. Contrary to belief, you can say no. Reschedule and take a step back to reassess. Nothing bad will happen if you take an afternoon off, reply to a little later or decline an invite.
2. Have a clear working statement in your signature or auto-reply - For example, I upgraded to the paid version of Calendly to host different meeting arrangements with a form for details to help prioritise; created an automatic out of the office which states my working hours and redirected all bookings to the website, in order to clear my inbox of email threads.
3. Start your week with intention - Every week I start the week writing down my goals, working principles and desires. This simple exercise starts the week with intention and reminds me that I have the power to take on projects which align with my value. Anything else, I pass on to my friends whom I know can benefit. My principles: diversity, inclusion, community, mental health, business, entrepreneurship, education and professional development.
4. Unfollow, block and delete toxic people & accounts - No real explanation required. As my mother says "if you are old enough to have a digital presence, you are responsible enough to know the messages you are sending, content you are engaging with and people you are connecting with".
5. Don't take things so seriously - I was a stress head. Though, once I started taking things less seriously, I found internal peace and more doors started opening up for me. Have a laugh, take a break, enjoy the process and know that in the end if you stay true to yourself, all will work out.

Bad vibes don't make healthy lives.

I realise now I am only competing with myself. The expectations, standards and requirements have been placed on me, by me. I have no boss because I am the boss. I have stakeholders and an advisory board, though they are there for guidance, not for my annual performance review. I must shake off what I once knew about working because that method didn't support my success in this new life.

It's time to prioritise health, redefine success and build the working culture which best represents you.

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Sonya Barlow is an award-winning entrepreneur, founder of the @LMFnetwork, diversity business coach and motivational speaker. In 2020, she was named as one of the Most Influential Women in Tech (Computerweekly), Winner of the Women in Software Changemakers (Makers and Google), Top 50 BAME Entrepreneurs (TechRound) and Future Shaper 2020 (Marie Claire). In 2021, Sonya will be a published author sharing her debut handbook on entrepreneurship, business & becoming your own boss!