Bad things, Good People

There was a "Toothless" phase from How to Train Your Dragon, followed closely by Ray from Star Wars. Those both faded. Then came Carli Lloyd's entire uniform and the idea that she would play in a World Cup. It wasn't until she laced up her skates for the first time that I realized hockey wouldn't be a phase. It may have taken me a year to buy in because of our area's lack of opportunity for girls' hockey. Still, when she became relentless in her pursuit to play, I pushed all of my chips in alongside her, and after this past weekend's tournament in Cleveland with her new team, I am convinced I know what my daughter Avery's passion truly is.

1996, I broke my foot training with the Dutch National Team Coach in Maastricht, Netherlands. My soccer team and I bankrolled our entire trip, working the concession stands at Minnesota Twins games and one very long Promise Keepers event leading up to the trip. Four days in, before we got to play any matches, I was devastated. Missing my junior year of the varsity season, that upcoming fall was imminent. My hands covered my face as I lay in the hospital bed two days later in Germany, crying as I realized it.

How could this happen to me?

In 2023, Avery lost an edge on the ice during a forecheck into the corner and slid full speed into the boards during a hockey tournament this past weekend in Cleveland.

As she lay there screaming in pain, slamming her fist into the ice, her mother and I stood hopelessly looking out at her on the rink as her two teammates attempted to calm her down.

As I frantically went into dad mode, carefully sliding on the ice towards her, I knew as I looked down at her leg that not only was it broken, but she would likely miss out on the experience she had been patiently waiting for for so long. A whole year playing against the girls rather than the house league boys in Fort Wayne.

As she cried in pain and sadness at the Cleveland Clinic later that afternoon, missing out on the tournament's final two games, I knew what she was thinking because it had happened to me nearly thirty years prior.

"How could this happen to me?"

I hear this common theme amongst non-believers: "If a God exists, why does He allow bad things to happen to good people?"

TBH, I have no idea. After all, what happened in the grand scheme of life isn't all that bad. It's nowhere near comparable to the destruction and devastation we read or hear about on the news, but there is nothing worse for each of us at the moment. I would like to believe that bad things happen to good people because God wants to strengthen our faith or draw us nearer to Him. Maybe God's desire is for us to need Him, to trust Him. I'm a man deeply planted in my faith, standing before you, confessing that I don't know the answer to that question.

But here is what I do know.

I know a complete stranger helped carry my daughter from the ice to car in all of her gear.

I know that Avery's team sent her a video tonight after practice saying how much they missed her.

I know her coach reached out to me, telling me that Avery is a part of this team and that they are putting together a workout program for her while she's out this season.

I know that her mother and my wife was created by God to help her kids in those exact moments.

I know that I took a call from the USA Hockey Representative telling me that he was praying for Avery and that USA Hockey takes care of their athletes, saying, "They will be picking up the hospital tab."

I know that there are good people out there.

But most of all, right now, I know exactly why God put me through what I went through twenty-seven years ago when I broke my foot in Europe.

I always thought it was because I needed to learn adversity, be resilient, and have faith, but it had nothing to do with that and everything to do with preparing me for this moment as a father: the night before my daughter's surgery, to remind her that God has a plan for her life, and even though she might think she's got it all figured out, Avery might not realize His plan until she's in her forties taking care of her own kids someday.

I know that bad things happen, and I also know that in those moments, you meet good people. More importantly, I know that God sends you a person when you're looking for a plan. In Avery's case, even with a broken fibula, two fractures in her ankle, and surgery looming tomorrow, I know exactly who my daughter is.

Whether she plays again this season or not, you couldn't convince me otherwise; she's a hockey player.