Bad meetings are worse than you think

We've all been in a bad meeting. Many of us are unlucky enough to be in them day in, day out.

The sort of meeting where everyone shows up but nobody's really present. Meetings where people say things but nobody's really listening. Meetings where issues are aired but nothing's really decided. But everyone agrees to meet again anyway.

A meeting like that is a problem in itself. You find yourself grappling with things like:

• the mental load, often felt particularly by quieter folk and those of any minority in the room as you work out whether it feels safe to speak, what phrasing you might use if it does, and how you're going to break in and be heard if you finally decide to say something;
• the worry that going inside your head to process the mental load above means you've missed some vital part of the conversation and will then say something that lands badly with the group (which adds to the mental load and brings more worry, and down the spiral you go...);
• the frustration that there are people in the room with valuable information and ideas you'd really like to explore, but the dominance of the HIPPO (HIghest Paid Person's Opinion) and the extravert norm means they don't share what they know; and
• the annoyance that being in the meeting to talk about the work is getting in the way of actually doing the work.

And there's more!

• 'meeting residue' means any emotions you've felt in one meeting slew forward into whatever you do next. So if that's another meeting it'll take a good 15 minutes to calm down from the last one and really tune in;
• the fact that nothing was properly aired or decided means you'll spend even more time after the meeting getting drawn into side conversations, attempts to clarify what was said, and canvassing by colleagues maneouvering for future advantage; and
• the scattered array of meetings across your working day and week means your thinking time is chopped into tiny pieces where you barely get going before you've got to stop and go to another meeting.

So, yes, bad meetings really are bad!

What if you knew you could change things?

I wonder if you would:

• start avoiding bad meetings: I know it sounds obvious, but meetings are insidious things that can creep into your diary without you realising. Look hard at the meetings you're down to attend. Which ones genuinely move things along, and which ones hold things up? If you can get out of the latter sort, then do - even one less meeting is progress.
• clarify the meeting purpose: some people make it a rule never to go to a meeting where there's no clear agenda or reason to meet. You might not have that luxury but an email or message to the organiser in advance may nudge things towards a more considered and intentional gathering.
• establish your role: what's the point of you being there? Are you contributing expertise, gathering information to share with others, helping reach a decision, bringing ideas? If you don't know, it will be hard to prepare and hard to be useful on the day.
• give your attention: if you do go, give your full attention instead of having half an eye on emails and IMs and half your brain working on a different problem. Otherwise, you're simply perpetuating the problems caused by inattention.
• start conversations around you about the impact of continuing to have bad meetings. What are the costs (real and perceived) in your part of the organisation? Can you afford to continue paying these?
• begin experimenting with new ways to meet: framing agenda items as questions, sharing papers so everyone can prepare, giving equal airtime and attention to everyone - even small changes can be transformational.

What do you think?

What will you do to put an end to bad meetings and their ongoing cost to you and your organisation?

What more could you do to have actively good meetings?