A Bad Day for the Ego, Is a Good Day for the Soul: How to Be Happier 1% Every Day

I was 26 years old and had just broken up with my ex-boyfriend. Well, to be specific, he had broken up with me. I still remember his words as if they were said yesterday:

"Nadja, when I was at their wedding, and I saw how they looked at each other when they said yes, I felt their love. When I look into your eyes, I don’t feel the same. I’m sorry."

Ouch. That was definitely a tough day for my ego! I was heartbroken and in denial because, in my mind, I could only be happy if I was with him. He made me happy—or so I thought.

I’ll spare you the embarrassing moments that followed as I tried to change his mind, but I will always be grateful to my Canadian colleague at the time. The breakup happened a week or two after his birthday, for which I had gifted him an amazing camcorder. My Canadian friend reminded me that I’m Dutch, he was Dutch too, and it was only fair to ask for my camcorder back.

So, I did! And my dad ended up being extremely happy with his “present” out of the blue.

That same mindset—tying my happiness to external things—held me back in other areas of my life, perhaps in all of them. When I look back at my career, I can see how much I correlated my identity with my job titles and roles. I let how I felt depend on what I achieved.

• If only I got a promotion, I’d be happier.
• If only they appreciated me more, I’d be happier.
• If only I was in the spotlight, I’d be happier.

As a high achiever, I was constantly chasing the next big thing, setting the next goal, and never pausing to celebrate how far I had already come.

It was only when I went through my dark night of the soul that I learned the true meaning of happiness and what it meant for me.

And that’s what this week’s theme is all about: What is happiness, and how can you feel 1% happier every day? Because slow and steady wins the race—even though life isn’t a race, but a journey that ebbs and flows.

If you resonate, you can check out the EQ Oasis Newsletter here and dive deeper into this week's edition packed with personal stories, creative wisdom and healing strategies with emotional intelligence.

Welcome to your EQ Oasis Weekly Digest!

Each day, we’ll focus on practical tools, reflections, and stories to help you shift from perfectionism to self-acceptance and emotional freedom.

Monday: Moonlight Motivation ??

Theme: Happiness is a State of Being

Monday is the day of the moon, which represents all that is hidden and subconscious. In our pursuit of happiness, we often focus on changing what is visible. However, true fulfillment and happiness come from looking within and identifying the blocks and barriers we’ve placed in our own path.

In Monday’s video, I share my personal journey to finding happiness and the strategies that helped me reach this point in my life. I hope it inspires those who resonate with this message to remember: happiness is not an act or a goal—it is a state of being.

<< Watch Full Video Here >>

P.S. I don't have a make up artist so some days I am lucky and have a good make up day. The day I recorded these videos was definitely not one of those days. But it was a great day for my soul! So before you judge, focus on my soul and not my appearance :).

Tuesday: Mars in Motion ??

Theme: Emptying Your Backpack

Tuesday represents the planet Mars, embodying the fiery, proactive energy of Aries. Aries is a go-getter, taking bold, decisive actions to achieve their goals. To cultivate happiness, we must first identify what hinders it.

We all carry invisible backpacks on this journey of life, filled with the weight of challenges and burdens that grow heavier over time. Life is like climbing a mountain—when you reach the top of one, you find yourself at the base of another. Happiness isn’t about reaching the peak but mastering the climb with a lighter load. What invisible weight do you need to release to feel freer and happier?

Practical Strategy:

I’ve recorded six brief audio notes to guide you step by step in releasing the invisible weight. These audios will help you:

• Communicate with empathy.
• Transform inner conflict into inner balance.
• Let go of regret and guilt from past decisions.
• Turn stress into strength by transforming fear into freedom.

<< Get Started Here >>

Wednesday: Mercury’s Wisdom ??

Theme: Notes from the Future

Wednesday is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication. In a world saturated with external voices and advice, what if we paused to listen to the voice of our future self? The self who has already overcome life’s challenges and removed the blocks to happiness?

Our inner compass often feels broken because we place more value on others’ opinions than on our own. Yet, I believe we all have the wisdom and solutions we need within us—if we learn to zoom out and tune in. People like me are simply guides, helping you reach a place where you can embrace and activate your inner compass.

<< Watch Full Video Here >>

Hey you,

I see you.

I see you trying so hard to stay positive, even when life feels like it’s crumbling around you.

I see you searching for the silver lining in the suffering you carry—the kind you don’t talk about.

I see you keeping a smile on your face, even when all you feel like doing is crying.

I see you standing strong in front of your child, not wanting to burden him—or anyone else—with your troubles.

But don’t you see? You deserve a happier life, too.

Don’t you see that the suffering lies in your mind as you focus on what’s wrong?

I’m here to remind you: embrace life as it unfolds.

There is no “bad” or “wrong.”

A bad day for the ego can still be a good day for the soul.

It’s okay to not feel okay.

It’s okay to cry.

It’s okay to ask for help.

It’s okay to not have everything figured out—there’s magic in the unknown.

But it’s not okay to believe you’re unworthy of a life free from suffering.

Because of your decision to change your inner world, our outer world is beautiful.

Because of your commitment to feeling joy despite life’s challenges, our character is strong.

Because of your ability to shift your perspective in the face of adversity, our mind is at peace.

Happiness is not a trophy to be won.

Happiness is a state of being—a choice we make every single day.

Happiness is not denial or turning a blind eye.

Happiness is knowing that everything is happening for you, not to you.

Happiness is radical acceptance of what is and choosing to move forward—not backward.

Happiness is embracing your full human experience and feeling it all:

The grief of loss.

The joy of beginnings.

The insecurity of becoming who you are.

And that’s okay.

Just like every season ends to make way for a new beginning, so do you.

Remember: you’ve got this.

You are more than enough.

Take it day by day, step by step.

You are worthy of a life free from suffering. And I am the living proof.

You’ve got this. I’ve got you.

The universe has your back.

With love,

Your Future Self

Thursday: Jupiter’s Growth ??

Theme: Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

Jupiter rules Thursdays, bringing expansive energy perfect for transforming negative thoughts and limiting perspectives. Changing the way we think is an uncomfortable yet rewarding process. It often begins with denial, frustration, or loss and moves through a void before arriving at acceptance, curiosity, exploration, and confidence.

I love the framework developed by the late Dr. Albert Ellis in his work on cognitive behaviorial therapy (CBT). He demonstrated that changing the way we think can also change the way we feel. So, how does this work in practice?

Let’s explore one of the biggest blocks to feeling just 1% happier every day: the belief that we’re not enough. Many of us overachieve and over-perform, striving to feel like we belong, to gain appreciation, or to secure a promotion. Yet, the harder we work, the more work we’re given—and career progress often remains elusive.

The bottleneck here is transitioning from a mindset of lack and stagnation to one of abundance and progress. The ABCDE Technique offers a practical way to reframe your thought process and gradually feel happier every day.

Practical Strategy:

• A: Activating Event – The lack of progress in your career.
• B: Beliefs – You believe happiness depends on receiving a promotion or praise.
• C: Consequences – You feel stuck and frustrated because you’ve outsourced your happiness to external validation.
• D: Dispute – Ask yourself: If you get the promotion or praise, how long will the happiness last? What happens when you need something else to feel happy again? Explore your beliefs with compassion and without judgment.
• E: Effects – You realize that while a promotion or praise may bring temporary pleasure, true happiness isn’t dependent on external factors. Instead, it stems from your mindset and your ability to reframe your life experiences.

Remember, be patient with yourself—emotional discomfort is part of our growth as human beings. It’s a gift to feel, but it becomes a burden when we suppress what makes us human. As the saying goes:

What we resist, persists!

Friday: Venus Friday ??

Theme: Love Yourself So You Can Love Others

Friday is ruled by Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and life’s luxuries. Yet, too often, we mistake fleeting pleasures for true happiness. There were days when I had no external reason to feel happy, but I practiced being happy anyway—until it became a natural state of being.

When faced with challenges now, I embrace them, telling myself they are here for my highest good. Challenges help me evolve and offer opportunities to respond differently—to reject fear and scarcity and instead act from a place of light and abundance.

Love and light does not mean weakness. Imagine being struck by a lightening bolt, that hurts! The most powerful human trait is a calm, clear, and confident mind. When you’re truly at peace within yourself, external chaos cannot unbalance you. This inner harmony allows you to extend peace and understanding to others.

Today’s poem invites us to remember that happiness is not a pursuit but a state of being—embracing our authentic selves, free from shame and blame. When we love ourselves, we unlock the capacity to love others deeply and genuinely.

<< Watch Full Video Here >>

In the pursuit of happiness, we often lose ourselves.

In the chase for good feelings, we deny the gift of feeling it all.

In the search for validation, we forget what truly lights our fire.

Happiness itself feels abstract—what does it even mean?

You can’t measure happiness; you can only feel it.

We live in a world where no one seems to care how we feel—

that very essence that makes us human in this soulless world.

We live in a world where we’ve become slaves to money and fleeting pleasures,

only to suffer more as a result.

We live in a world where balance—between pleasure and pain—

is a foreign concept, keeping us stuck in misery.

And yet, happiness remains the one thing we all seek.

But what if we stopped seeking happiness and simply allowed ourselves to be?

What if we tried to be ourselves—a little more each day?

Be kinder to one another; put a smile on someone’s face.

Be playful with our children, making them feel loved and seen.

Be more understanding of others—there’s so much we don’t see.

Be of service, asking, “How can I help?” without expecting anything in return.

Be present and connect with someone’s soul beyond the surface.

Be more human in this world, so others can feel human too.

Perhaps happiness isn’t about us, but about how we make others feel.

Because in a universe so perfectly balanced,

what goes around always comes back around.

Saturday: Saturn’s Shield ??

Theme: Boundaries Are Your Standards in Life

Saturn is the planet of structure, discipline, and hard-earned lessons. To feel 1% happier every day, we need systems and structures in place. This is especially important for those who are sensitive to the outside world, people, and stimuli. Having consistent practices and routines provides a solid foundation—one that replaces anxiety with safety and insecurity with confidence. To reach this state, it’s crucial to ask yourself:

What boundaries do I have in place?

Here are two non-negotiable boundaries I’ve established with both myself and others:

1. Morning Routines: My mornings are sacred. I’ve noticed that whenever I skip my routine, my day spirals into chaos. However, when I start my day intentionally—with meditation, prayer, and movement—I feel calm, confident, and collected throughout the day.
2. Relationships: I’m selective about who I allow into my life. Some may perceive this as arrogance, but remember—you are the CEO of your life. Misery loves company, and gossip clubs always have free admission. Surrounding yourself with chronically negative, manipulative, or gaslighting individuals will only hold you back.

I have many more boundaries I’ve cultivated, which I’ll share in the EQ Oasis Community to help guide others in creating their own. Boundaries are not barriers; they are standards that elevate your quality of life.

Sunday: Solar Shine ??

Theme: Transcending the Fear of Being Seen

As the week comes to a close, let's reflect on the power of self-love and how it transforms every aspect of our lives. Often, we wait for the sun to rise and shine to feel good about ourselves and our lives. We allow other planets—representing the people, places, and events in our lives—to either ignite or dim our light. But what if you became the sun in your world, shining regardless of the other planets?

That's what Solar Sunday's Shine reminds us: we all have the ability to become the sun, to rise and set each day based on our own capacity to shine, regardless of our external environment.

Happiness isn’t about big leaps; it’s about small, consistent steps. This week, I’m sharing a few EQ Vitamins to help you feel 1% happier every day. These are quick, actionable insights that nurture your mind, heart, and soul.

If you’re ready to dive deeper into these concepts and access exclusive content, join the EQ Oasis Premium Newsletter for the full experience.

1. How You View Yourself

The most important opinion you’ll ever hold is the one you have about yourself.

EQ Vitamin: Your worth is not defined by comparison, but by your inherent value.

2. How You Express Yourself

Your voice is uniquely yours—let it shine.

EQ Vitamin: Authenticity is your superpower.

3. How You Manage Stress

Let go of what you can’t control and focus on what you can.

EQ Vitamin: Stress fades when you surrender unnecessary worries.

These are just glimpses of what’s possible when you prioritize emotional intelligence in your daily life.

Want more EQ Vitamins?

Dive into the EQ Oasis Premium Newsletter, where we unpack these themes in depth, with actionable tools and strategies to help you thrive.

#EmotionalIntelligence #EQOasis #HealWithEQ

Looking Ahead & Stay Connected

Next week, I'll share my journey with grief and how I manage loss in my life to feel more at peace.

I'd love to hear from you! What makes you happier? What does happiness mean to you? Share your experiences in the comments, and let's inspire each other!

Remember,

With love & gratitude,

Nadja ?? ?? ??

P.S. If this resonates, share it with someone who needs to know they are more than enough too.

P.P.S. If you’re ready to dive in deeper…

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?? Drumroll Please! ??

Last week was “a bad day for my ego and a good day for my soul” because no one commented on my newsletter. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I saw this as an opportunity to continue serving from the soul, not the ego.

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