Bad Communication Habits
Chris Fitzpatrick
Professional & Keynote Speaker. Aspiring Game Show Host. Below-Average Charity Golfer. Talent Development @ Crestron Electronics. 18 years HR & Talent Experience. DEIB Ally.
This newsletter is a reaction to an article appearing in Inc. Magazine Online on November 11, 2024: "Warren Buffett Pointed Out 1 Clear Sign to Spot Someone With Good Leadership Skills"
One of the reasons I have an e-subscription to Inc. Magazine is because of the number of interesting articles they feature on what I refer to as "Human Skills." There are people infinitely more qualified than I am to talk about technology, AI, and similar topics, but when I speak at a college or university, at a conference, or at a corporate client's building, I'm usually honing in on the skills that are difficult to automate, the non-technical skills that were called "soft skills" for a long time. This November 11st article in particular caught my eye, not because it came from wisdom provided by Warren Buffett, but because it claimed to align one particular skill to success in leadership.
No big surprise, the thru-line of the article was COMMUNICATION.
In the hundreds of talks I've done over the past 20 or so years, there's no topic I've covered as exhaustively as communication skills. I present it to students as the critical key skill for their scholastic and career success, the foundational pillar to their personal brand. In this Inc. Magazine article, the focus is on the pitfalls that cause communication to fail. It's a great, quick piece to read and get some advice. I want to expand on it.
Why Communication is Essential
ALL LIVING SPECIES COMMUNICATE. Obviously not all speak, but in some way shape or form, all organisms put out information and messaging. Animals, birds, and many reptiles have distinct sounds that cover a range of messaging, whether it's to mate, to assert dominance, etc - for example, cats purr when their humans show them affection as a way of saying that they like the attention. Insects like ants use pheromone release to warn others of danger. Dolphins use sonar and echolocation to communicate and understand their surroundings. Plants release various chemicals to protect themselves and to warn other plant life of pests. Even bacteria communicate, using a method called "quorum sensing."
Part of the reason humans have evolved so far so fast is because of our incredible ability to communicate, and that communication is central to not only our survival, but our ability to work with other humans to achieve magnificent (and sometimes awful) feats.
How and Why we Screw it Up
The Inc. article identifies three main communication pitfalls that can tank our ability to have successful interactions with others:
None of these came as a surprise to me.
Talking More Than We Listen
When I speak on the "Four Forms of Communication," I will usually begin by asking the audience if they know what the four forms are. Verbal, non-Verbal, and Written are usually identified fairly quickly, but in most of the rooms I speak in - to students or to professionals - Listening is usually the last, if it's mentioned at all. When we think about how we communicate, we often consider what WE, as the communicators, do. We don't always consider how we receive what the OTHER communicators provide. That's like an NFL football team hiring three Quarterbacks coaches and nobody to coach the Wide Receivers.
Hiding Behind Digital
"Hiding Behind Digital" is a newer and fast growing challenge to effective communication, and one that affects Millennials and GenZ more than prior generations, meaning the pervasiveness of this challenge is growing, not shrinking. What we think of as "social capital" has been quantified by Social Media into views, likes, comments, and shares, often with harmful results. We check our phones and find ourselves mired in feelings of inadequacy as we compare our normal days to everyone else's "Highlight Reels" on Instagram, TikTok, and even here on LinkedIn . Written communication may take the biggest hit, as the tradition of professional e-mails is often damaged by a culture accustomed to speaking via text message. It's no wonder several organizations and publications, including Inside Higher Ed , York College of Pennsylvania 's Center for Professional Excellence, and The National Association of Colleges and Employers , have identified Oral and Written Communications among the skills with the widest "Skills Gap" for student interns and recent graduates. The skills gap is the space between the demand for a skill by employers and the perceived supply of the skill by students and recent graduates.
Talking Too Fast
"Talking Too Fast" (or too slow, for that matter) can cause a misalignment with the party who is receiving the information. Speed of speech is a facet of Verbal Communication that has a massive impact on how well our information is being delivered and processed. Talk too fast and you may lose your receiver's interest, or worse, you may be perceived as verbose or even untrustworthy. Talk too slow and you risk losing your receiver's focus, causing their mind to wander and begin thinking more about their exit strategy from the conversation than actively listening to what you have to say. Fast talk can sometimes be a result of anxiety or panic being in a discussion, representing a desire to get all of the information out before we forget anything and to appear knowledgeable. It can also be a subconscious (or maybe conscious!) technique to "play communication defense," or a game of "conversation keep-away" where the speaker chooses speed to minimize the risk of someone else responding and changing the subject during a pause.
How Communication Impacts Leadership
The correlation between effective leadership and effective communication is undeniable. Ask individuals about the best supervisors or leaders they've ever worked with, and then ask them what made them so good at their roles, and communication is likely to be a top answer. Furthermore, great leaders build and maintain trust, and we often build that trust through our communication. It is hard to lead people effectively if they are constantly tethered to a smartphone or other electronic device, and speaking so fast that someone else cannot process and understand your message erodes their ability to trust what you have to say.
Key Takeaways
Article Links
https://www.chronicle.com/article/in-survey-professors-see-a-lack-of-professionalism-among-students/
Chris Fitzpatrick (he/him/his) is a Professional / Keynote Speaker & Emcee, an Aspiring Game Show Host, a Future Author, and a Below-Average Charity Golfer.
Chris is also a Human Resources Professional with 18 years of experience in Talent Acquisition, Talent Development, and Diversity & Inclusion. Chris is proud to be the Sr. Manager, Talent Development at Crestron Electronics, an industry leader in the AV Industry.
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Director of Client Relationships at Pinnacle Performance Company | Maximize the Impact of Your Message
1 周Couldn't agree more, Chris Fitzpatrick! Thanks for highlighting these essential skills.