Backpacking the Grand Canyon

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

-Lao Tzu

Kneeling down at the edge of the Colorado River, at the bottom of the Grand Canyon, I gently placed the rock at the water’s edge.?It was the spring of 2013.?I was in the midst of leaving a 28-year marriage, facing childhood events I never wanted to unpack, trying to find a spiritual path, and watching the slow, agonizing decline of my mom’s health due to late stage Alzheimer’s (and I was beginning to understand why the disease had been referred to as “the long, long, goodbye.”)

Rewind to many years before. ?We took my Mom to the Grand Canyon and it was not only her first time there, but the first (and only time in her life) she had ever been camping. She stared out over the expanse at the edge of the canyon, watching the sunrise and the colors slowly changing across the myriad of cliffs and canyons.?She emotionally said, “If you can’t find God here, you won’t find him anywhere.”?The words struck me as profound but it did not truly resonate with me until years later. ?My mom would go on to talk with great pride about her “camping” trip for years at family gatherings!?Each time listening to her, the words she spoke at the edge of the canyon continued to persist in the back of my mind. ?I think that she meant that this was a place you could find purpose and meaning.?

Over the holiday season of 2012, to deal with all the turmoil inside my head, I decided that I would run my first marathon in April (I picked the OKC memorial run because I grew up in the area and had a friend killed in the bombing, plus my mom lived in an Alzheimer’s care home close by).?I also decided that I was going to do a solo backpacking trek across the Grand Canyon.?My plan was to spend spring break backpacking from the South Rim, down to the river, up to the North Rim, and then back across the canyon to my starting point.?It would be 5 days and 57 miles, alone.?Friends said I was crazy and that a solo hike was not safe.?

“And his wife told his kids he was crazy,

And his friends said he'd fail if he tried…”

– John Mayer, Walt Grace's Submarine Test, January 1967

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrcMMyNeJJs

So, during spring break of 2013, as I stood on the edge of the south rim of the canyon, I contemplated my mom’s words.?I bent down and picked up a random rock.?As I held the rock in my hand, I thought of all the things I needed to let go of.?My oldest sister had told me over the holidays, “Jim, do you remember in the movie Forest Gump, when Jenny is throwing the rocks at her old house where she endured a traumatic childhood??And then she collapses, and Forest says, “Sometimes there’s just not enough rocks.”? ?I slowly nodded yes.?She said, “Jim, sometimes there’s just not enough rocks.” She was gently telling me I needed to let go, to try and forgive, and find some small way to move forward.?

So, I symbolically placed everything I had been emotionally carrying and placed it in the rock.?I would carry the rock to the bottom of the canyon, and then release it there as I continued my journey.

The journey was transformational.?It was empowering, it was cleansing, and it was deeply spiritual. It was scary, it was lonely, it was exhausting, but most of all it was life changing.?Since this trip, I have spent three additional spring breaks backpacking the canyon, solo.?The solitude offers the chance to unplug, to go deep into one’s own head, and to push one’s self both physically and mentally.?I grew to like my own company.?I felt a peace and sense of calm that had escaped me for years.

Another transformational Grand Canyon trip took place during Spring break of 2020. It reflected a new and amazing part of my journey.?I backpacked with my new partner and wife, Teri.?We spent 7 days traversing down through the depths of the canyon.?It was so meaningful sharing this life-changing trip together.?The Grand Canyon is unlike a hike in the mountains and woods (which Teri and I both love).?There is an immense sense of being part of something broad, immense and timeless.?The wide-open views are breathtaking.?Looking a mile down to the river, or several miles across multiple gorges, provides a perspective that is truly and literally, seeing the “big picture”.?Backpacking the Grand Canyon requires you to focus on the present and to be mindful of your steps, while at the same time offers the opportunity to stare out across the expanse and contemplate life’s big issues.?And the trip was deeply meaningful for Teri, as she scattered some of her brother’s ashes in a gentle stream down near the bottom of the canyon.?He had passed away a few months before, at the age of 57.?The Grand Canyon I am sure has a genuine impact on many people, each as it pertains to their own journeys.

There were many trips I needed to undertake alone, but I had grown to the point that I had learned to embrace solitude, and had found happiness within myself and not through anything or anyone external.?I now felt healthy enough to share the journey.?I also realize that life continues to be a series of adventures, some meant to be spend in community, and some in solitude.

I think there are many parallels between my reflections on the Grand Canyon and Organizational life.?We are presented with challenges that require both collective efforts as well as individual focus.?As leaders and HRD professionals, we are challenged to ponder the purpose of what we do and what our organization aspires to be.?During these unprecedented times emerging from a global pandemic, we are faced with deep questions, and we are challenged to cope with the unknown.?We are challenged to let go of some things and to refocus on what matters most.?I believe individuals are longing to find meaning and purpose in their organizations. ??The communal aspect of organizational life should offer more to our experience as human beings than a paycheck and benefits package. So, what are we doing to create the space for individuals to experience what matters to them??How are we showing up in our organizations to teach, to mentor, to model a healthy and purposeful way to serve our customers and to serve one another??

My Grand Canyon trip was 10 years ago this spring, and last week was the 6-year anniversary of my mom’s death.?In the words of C.S. Lewis, “Day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different”.

I hope you take some time this weekend to reflect on these and other deep questions you may have been pondering in the recesses of your mind.

Have a great weekend!