Back to school!

Ah September.  The return to school is often a relief at the best of times after a summer of ferrying kids to clubs, trying to find entertaining activities and managing it all alongside work.  And then they go back and you have the good old readjustment weeks of trying to refind the routines.  Emotions run high.  Everyone is tired and scratchy.  And that’s a normal year!

This year has, of course, been uniquely challenging.  Many of us having been balancing work, home school and many other challenges since March and it may be an understatement to say for many people it’s felt like a long haul.  So the return to school feels like a relief in some ways.  But then it also feels daunting, for most of us we are sending our kids back into a Covid-era school for the first time and there are questions and concerns running through our heads as well.

So how do we deal with it all?  Here are my key tips to surviving the return to school:

1. Self care.  Yes, I know I bang on about it rather a lot, but if you are frayed around the edges then any explosions from the kids will just be worse.  Keep attention on your core needs especially - sleep, water, food - and those of your kids.  Everyone is better to be with when they are well fed, well watered and well slept!  Make time every day to do something just for you.  If this feels challenging, think of it as role modelling to your kids how to manage stressful times, because that’s what you are doing and we all want our kids to be able to cope with what life throws at them.
2. Deal with your own emotions.  You may be feeling excited at the prospect of a bit more freedom.  You may be scared at the thought of them going back.  You may be angry about aspects of the school setup.  Or you may just be feeling all the feelings (to borrow a beautiful phrase from a client of mine!).  And whatever you are feeling, IT IS OK.  And you can take some time to process those feelings.  Dance, cry, scream, punch a pillow, move your body, shake it out, meditate, journal or whatever else works for you.  Taking time to shift it is so much better than hanging onto it and waiting for the explosion!
3. Deal with their emotions.  I know my kids get extra-emotional at the start of each term and especially the start of a new year.  New class, new teacher, it’s all big changes for young brains.  Tell them it’s ok to feel upset/angry/confused/whatever else.  Especially if they’re on the younger end, name their feelings for them - ‘I can see you look really sad today, buddy’.  This helps them to build their emotional awareness and be able to communicate more to you what’s going on.  And encourage them to do the same sorts of things that you do in step 2.  A good family dance party to shake out all the angst can go a long way to making for a happier home!
4. Find a safe space to offload, for both you and the kids.  My boys are quite young so this is easiest achieved by getting their hands busy, they’re much more relaxed and able to chat when we’re playing lego or doing things like colouring.  It’s important to ask if they want to share, if they don’t then don’t push it.  But let them know you’re there and ready to listen.  And find that same safe space for yourself as well.  Who can be your go to when you need an offload - this could be your partner, parent, friend, fellow school parent or someone else.  Plan this early on so you know where to go when you feel like you’re bubbling over.  And come on over to the Soulfire Community on Facebook for a rant if you need to!
5. Forgiveness and apologies.  There will probably be blow ups, even in the most calm household the next few weeks are likely to produce the odd eruption.  Keep in mind what the last 6 months has been like and what a big change this is.  Be able and willing to demonstrate forgiveness and also to apologise if it’s you that blew up!  Again this is amazing ground for role modelling for your kids how to deal with emotions and how to make amends when it goes wrong.

Finally, remember that each day of settling back into it will get a little easier and, while there may be bumps in the road, you are making progress.  

If you would like to carve out some space and time just for you, to support you through the next few weeks and beyond, my next Calm Amongst the Chaos group coaching programme starts on Tuesday 15th September.  If you would like to find out more please book for a quick discovery call using the link below:

https://calendly.com/jengoddardcoaching/catc-discovery-call