Back to Basics: Divorce Mediation
{4:12 minutes to read} What’s so special about divorce mediation? Plenty! Check out these Questions and Answers and you’ll understand why mediation may be the best choice for a divorcing couple.
What is divorce mediation?
It is a voluntary settlement process used by couples who want to separate or divorce. It enables couples to make their own decisions concerning their future lives apart – as to their children, their finances, and other important matters.
What does a divorce mediator do?
Without taking sides, the mediator helps couples better communicate their needs, and assists them in problem-solving and exploring their options so that they’re able to make the best decisions for their family.
What does the divorce mediation process entail?
The couple meets with the divorce mediator for several sessions, during which they discuss all issues that need to be addressed (such as dividing up assets and liabilities, parenting arrangements, child and/or spousal support). After that, a marital settlement agreement is drafted that articulates all of their decisions.
When the couple signs their agreement, they are legally separated. The agreement, as well as other accompanying documents, can then be filed with the court. Once the court reviews everything, a judgment of divorce is signed by the judge. The couple is now officially divorced.
How are decisions made?
In divorce mediation, the couple makes their own decisions on all of the issues. While the mediator guides them through the process, decision-making authority remains with the couple. This is very different from a litigated divorce (where both spouses have separate attorneys and have commenced proceedings in court), in which the judge is the one who makes all decisions.
Does divorce mediation work even with high-conflict couples?
Yes, divorce mediation works even with highly emotional or high-conflict couples. Divorce mediators are trained to handle these challenging situations.
Are there any basic requirements for couples to be able to mediate?
There are really only two basic requirements. First, the couple must be willing to meet together with the mediator to discuss their issues. Second, they must provide all information that is needed for them to make “informed decisions.” If either one of these elements is lacking, mediation is not the appropriate forum for a couple.
How does divorce mediation benefit children?
Divorce mediation is more emotionally protective of the children. Parents who mediate are more likely to work together in the best interests of their children. As couples go through the mediation process, they learn to communicate with each other more effectively. Post-divorce, the parents and children benefit greatly from their improved communications.
How does divorce mediation differ from couples therapy or marital therapy?
Couples who come to divorce mediation have made a decision to separate or divorce. Those who go for couples or marital therapy typically are seeking the help of a therapist to stay together.
What about the costs and time required for divorce mediation?
Mediation is much less costly than litigation. The couple shares the cost of one mediator whereas, in litigation, they each pay the costs of their separate attorneys. Mediation also takes considerably less time than litigation. A mediated divorce can be resolved in a few months, whereas a litigated divorce can go on for years.
And that’s why mediation is frequently the best choice for divorcing couples.
Click here to read my other blog articles.
-
Susan Ingram Mediation & Coaching
320 Central Park West
New York, NY 10025
www.Susan-Ingram.com
[email protected]
(212) 496-0172
Owner, Glatzer Design
8 年It was so nice to run into you the other day! arlene
Narrative Strategist??Geopolitics Analyst??Narrative Influence & Resilience Expert?? Knowledge Synthesiser?? News Curator?? Geopolitical Satire??Narrative Magic (Owl of O.W.L.)??Lawyer (Ret.)??CEO Sky Canopy Consulting
8 年Some people come to couples counselling unclear as to why they are really there- there are the surface reasons then the real ones that emerge. Sometimes one partner has already decided to leave (and may not be honest at first). The socially acceptable initial front of trying to stay together is often presented out of guilt, shame, anxiety and fear. Sometimes couples seek 'permission' to part as society still exacts consequences in terms of judgement.
Educating and Helping People to Better Understand Biases, Their Impact, and How to Try and Keep Them in Check
8 年Susan, this is a nice article, but I disagree with a few points. First, while I am not suggesting that it's the best alternative, divorce mediation can occur even if the couple is unwilling or unable to meet together with the mediator. Second, the couple may or may not share in the cost of the mediation. How the mediation is to be paid is an issue that the couple will either agree upon on their own prior to mediation or it will be an issue addressed in the mediation itself. Furthermore, while share may mean equal, it may well not. Third, depending upon the type of mediation involved and the mediator's skill set, the couple may or may not learn improved communication skills.
Independent Consumer Services Professional
8 年I have a M.S in Marriage and Family Therapy but am unlicensed. What kind of additional training or certification would I need to pursue this career path?