"There and back again" - the story of global gas partners

Lessons learned after going from corporate to business owner and back

by Daniel Muthmann (Dec 2020)

My motivation for this article

A few years ago, I experienced a real rollercoaster ride in my career which led me – a corporate person all my professional life to that point in time – to start my own business and run it successfully for several years. After that I was headhunted back into a corporate setting (although smaller). The whole experience was very intense, and I learned a lot, about business, about life, about myself.

By the end of this year 2020, my own company, global gas partners gmbh, founded in 2013, will officially cease to exist. For me this is an important milestone to take a moment, reflect and share some experiences from the past years.

Careers and personal developments are rarely linear, and it is a fact of life that we learn the most, when unforeseen situations arise and challenge us. In that sense I thought my experiences may be interesting, hopefully somewhat inspiring or amusing and worth sharing. Perhaps some of you can relate to some of them yourself.

In any case, feel free to comment or drop me a personal line if you wish to share your own experiences or enter a dialogue.

The start of the story: Experiencing my personal “stock market crash”

I have been working in the energy business since 1998. I was fortunate enough to experience a very steady and upward oriented career in natural gas and LNG up until about 2012.

I was personally convinced that career development always must go upwards (with hindsight a rather silly view…) and began to realize that this was becoming increasingly difficult with my then current employer. It was during that time, that an interesting job opportunity was presented to me by a headhunter (around spring of 2012). Soon I found myself in negotiations with a new potential employer abroad. Sure, it meant to move with the entire family, but my wife and I had discussed it and we both felt it was time for something new. It was compatible with her career too, the children were still young enough to cope we thought, and the offered package was very attractive. I concluded negotiations, signed a contract, got a clean exit from my current employer. I found a very nice furnished flat at the new location abroad for the first months (after which the family was supposed to move) and booked my flights for the first three months to commute home for weekends. All seemed to have worked out perfectly well. How fortunate had I been!

As I was exiting a commercial role with access to sensitive information, I was sent home by my employer to enjoy a summer on gardening leave. “How great is this” I thought, and it really was!

I was supposed to start my new job on Jan 1, 2013.

Unfortunately, and totally out of the blue, the joyous ride came to an abrupt halt, when top management at my future employer changed and the decision was made and communicated that the position, I had signed up for was considered no longer available. A brief negotiation, an agreed compensation, and my job was gone within a week.

There I was, having left a perfectly good and safe job to which there was no sensible way back. And my new job had just disappeared. I had just bought a house with a big mortgage and three rather small children still were running around in that house. Had my career been the price of a stock, it felt like it crashed that day. And it was not just a plummeting stock for one day. It was a stock market crisis that followed… 

Riding the Grieve Curve

The following weeks were very exhausting. With hindsight I understand that I needed to ride the grieve curve. At first, I was in the state of denial in a sense that I did not see this to be a big thing for me. I was still full of self-confidence, knew about my wide-ranging international contacts in the business. I said to myself “shit happens. I just make some calls, make some people aware about my situation and be done with it”. A new job was to be found very quickly.

I was wrong. The gas market had undergone significant change with the commoditization of gas and LNG. Consequently, interesting higher-level positions had become a scarce commodity themselves. I also felt reluctant about considering a move to another country after the first attempt had so miserably failed (in my perception at the time).

My self-esteem fell to a record low at an energy fair in February of 2013 (the E-World conference in Essen). I had realized by then that finding another rewarding job fulfilling my aspirations would take some time. I was looking forward to visiting the annual energy fair in my hometown where I knew many of the exhibitors, including top management representatives. I wanted to use this occasion to broaden my perspective and tried to accept the situation as an opportunity. I soon realized something very painful, that I had not expected given my lack of experience of similar situation: Without a big company name on my business card, it seemed I was not interesting anymore.

Of course, many people were polite and said “hi”, but that day it felt like 90% of my contacts had never really been interested in myself as a person, but merely in the role I had and the company I represented. It all culminated in one conversation with a gas trader from a regional energy company who, upon learning I was currently not employed, said “oh, yet another one from this company (my former employer) looking for a job”.

This guy might have been 30 years old, at the beginning of his career, I was 40 and had reported to the C-Level of a large company represented in Germany stock market index DAX. I still felt that was something special and valuable and so it hurt particularly to be counted as yet “another one looking for a job”. That really hurt (and with hindsight it took quite some time to get over these experiences of early 2013).

We learn many things in school, in universities and at home. But with the privilege of growing up in a loving family without any financial worry, we do not learn how to master a severe personal crisis. For my own part I also had to understand that how much I was worth as a person did not depend on other people’s opinions or on what I was doing. 

Having something to offer helped regaining self-confidence

Since I wanted to continue contributing to the family income quickly, I took some consultancy jobs as a freelancer while considering my options. I was very unhappy with this situation in the beginning as it fulfilled every cliché, I had about men being out of a job and not able to stand this idea, so they call themselves “consultants”.

During this phase it proved to be extremely valuable to have people around me who were prepared to listen, to give advice and to help with putting things in perspective. This is the 10% of contacts that were interested in me and built a relationship with me, and not just my earlier position. There was one particularly good business contact and friend from London, who had served on the C-Level both at BP and BG. We had met several times and discussed market developments. In fact, he had been a sparring partner in my contract negotiations with my failed employment abroad. After what had happened to me, he repeatedly gave me nudges to think about the fact that I was in quite a unique position: I had deep commercial experience in gas and LNG including leading teams, negotiations, and structuring deals, I had experienced and lived through industry consolidation in a corporate role and I understood the challenges involved. I also had a lot of international experience on different continents. If the market was changing – he concluded – people needed advice, but not from consultants, but from industry experts who have been there, who have a corporate background and are able to provide independent experience speaking the client’s language.

That was how the idea of global gas partners (“GGP”) was born and shortly thereafter I came up with the name. I was surprised and proud that apparently no one had thought about that name (or domain) before me. 

Setting up my own business

One of the things that really motivated me was a business dinner in London with my friend talking about how to kick-start GGP. I had had the thought of asking him to join me for some time but did not dare to ask. After all, following his career such a move would not have been motivated financially. I will not forget how he smiled at me when I asked and replied, “you really think I advised you all along if I was not interested?”. Putting both our experiences and contacts together and having the right chemistry between us was very beneficial for the start-up.

So, I founded GGP as a limited liability company and soon had a second shareholder, my friend and fellow global gas partner. We were a boutique advisory (without one penny of state aid by the way!). I set-up a professional website, learned about accounting, invoices, how to put out attractive offers and we were soon able to put our networks to use. Former business contacts who found out I was getting serious with the advisory business suddenly found it attractive to be able use my and our experience without having to employ us.

Over time we successfully developed a couple of services mostly concentrated in three areas: (1) arbitration support as commercial and industry experts around gas, LNG and investment treaty cases, (2) strategic due diligences for M&A projects and (3) engagement and negotiation support for clients wanting to enter the LNG market. Successful projects lead to new projects and we experienced a very steep revenue growth.

Growing is somewhat a tricky issue if the main part on offer is personal experience. I engaged several people I knew well and felt they could be very good colleagues in GGP to be able to broaden our services and to be able to service more clients. But hiring someone relatively young proved to be difficult. People tend to be afraid about the risk and personal exposure, despite me offering six months of guaranteed payment even in a worst-case scenario. Likewise, typical analysis work for young professionals is easily outsourced.

At the same time clients demanded extensive experience which was too expensive to hire. As many smaller advisories do, we built a network of senior associates with framework agreements so that they could work in projects as freelancers. We also set up several cooperation agreements with consultancies and teamed up where it made sense for clients.

After only a little over two years we had worked for about 15 clients repeatedly most of which internationally recognized blue chip energy companies from different European countries and the MENA region.

GGP had established itself in a niche market. 

The experience of success

I remember how my wife was very concerned about the whole idea of setting up my own company. The worry was mainly whether there would be a steady income over time. I suggested to approach this very pragmatically: to continue living as we do and watch how our finances would develop within 12 months. If savings were down, I would stop. If they were similar or up, I would have the option to continue. The compensation payment from the failed employment abroad provided that flexibility.

With hindsight I personally somehow never had that worry. The moment I had overcome my self-esteem issues and had set sail for making GGP work and a success, and especially after having experienced the first successful projects, I was confident that although the client funnel might be fluctuating it would always work out.

The one issue of course that I believe all entrepreneurs and self-employed people face is the challenge not to be able to say “no”. Quite regularly in the steady growth of the first years I said yes to new projects despite not really having the time. So, for months I worked very long days and weekends, because a project and revenue “in the bank” would secure a potential dry spell in the future.

A key takeaway was that it felt extremely rewarding and satisfying to see money coming into the company’s account after a successful run (much different than how I experienced success in a corporate setting with some bonuses paid in May for the preceding year). Likewise, a project dry spell meant that a salary was paid out of the company’s account to me without being balanced or overcompensated by revenues despite intense efforts from time to time.

I gained tremendous respect towards all self-employed people, entrepreneurs, shop owners, restaurant owners etc. Many of whom invest far more than I did, have higher fixed costs and lower margins and yet manage to be successful, employ staff, thereby secure the well-being of many people and families etc.

We too often forget that! The current COVID crisis is a good example for the existential risks self-employed people are taking… 

A more intensive experience of life

During the time of running my own small company I was managing director, sales & marketing executive, sales administrator, compliance officer, accountant, and leader of small teams – all in one person.

My work consisted of creating a CD, producing marketing presentations, travelling to build relationships and trust, pitching, forging alliances and of working from home or a rented office space servicing clients. Despite all the hard work it felt like I was able to capture more aspects of life. More time with family and joint meals at home, being available to occasionally help with homework, having time for a run when the sun was shining and not in the dark when coming home late from a long office day. Being your own boss or that of a small company to me was a very intensive time of my life. I even started voluntary work at the school of my children teaching astronomy, a passion and hobby I have had since I was 12.

Somewhere in the middle of that phase in my life I was quite sure that I would not be able to go back to where I came from.

Ironically, the lock-down experiences because of COVID-19 have prompted some déjà-vu in that respect.

I am aware that this is a very self-centered analysis, and it is well possible that my family did not experience it all the same as I was sometimes working 70-80-hour weeks (including weekends). But there definitely was more presence at home. 

The darker moments

I would not be giving an honest description here if I did not mention the darker moments of having your own boutique company. Certainly, this is all based on my very personal perceptions and experiences and must not be deemed to be universally applicable or true.

For example, I found out that accepting three projects in parallel with deadlines and everything can really take you to your personal limits. One time I worked two straight nights without sleeping at all to complete expert reports on time. Although I learned how far I could go and what it felt like after that, certainly something I would not recommend for a longer period.

It took me quite a while to re-define and re-discover the sources of my self-confidence and self-worth. As said above, I was very much used to receiving external appreciation because I had an interesting position and employer behind me. Being on your own can give you a lot of self-respect too and through that you can generate own achievements which are worth being proud of. But doubts kept coming back to me when I met people from my “old world” and experienced how little they thought of me and my work and that some of them actually felt sorry for me and pitied me. I experienced an arrogance you can only have when sitting in the golden cage of a corporate position, never having been exposed to the real market, the real world of costs and the experience of selling knowing that the financial well-being of you and your family depend on it. Still – since I am not made of stone – it hurt me, until I realized and learned that self-worth cannot and must not depend on judgment passed by others (and learned to regulate my responses).

I needed a coach to open my eyes: “Daniel, all your career to date, you defined your self-worth like the “value of your personal stock” and it was depending on that people around you liked you and what you were doing. They determined through their liking whether your stock price was high or low. Now that they do not appreciate you any more you feel as if you are worth less. Once you overcome this a lot of strength can be mobilized”.

Missing people was also an issue. When writing a report on whichever topic I was sometimes busy for two weeks without much interaction with anyone of the outside business world. Being an expert often meant to work alone, even if some analysis work could be outsourced and discussed with cooperation partners. There was never really a team around me, and I felt lonely regularly. I am a people person, always have been. That is one of the reasons I got a bit frustrated after some years. The only real team interaction was client meetings or meetings in the run up for an arbitration hearing.

And I learned during my time running GGP that I did enjoy opportunities to perform “in public” as I felt I had a talent in that respect. I discovered for example that I really enjoyed being in the witness stand and showing peak performance at the most relevant phase for a client. But overall, apart from pitching for a particular project and such witness stand situations, there were limited stage possibilities in my work.

Finally, what I did not like or enjoy at all was the administrative stuff that comes along with having your own limited liability company! There were several moments where I said to myself “no wonder no one is taking on this challenge of running her or his business – it is just a nightmare” (I am pretty sure this issue is less of a problem in some other countries, but in Germany I did not find it easy to have my own company).

I was overall very fortunate with my clients who with very few exceptions always paid on time. Certainly, something many business owners are struggling with too! 

Limits to growth

As mentioned before after some years and success in our niche I felt some limits. I wanted to extend the business into new fields (mainly to make it more interesting) but scaling-up the company was difficult. The business model was not scalable other than extending the network to other consultancies.

I was making good money but realized that in my early 40s it was too early to settle for a job like this. Had I been 60, a couple of years of well-paid advisory might have done the job.

But the real issue was not so much the limited scale-up potential. I came to realize for myself that GGP at that point in my life would probably not be able to make me happy in the long run. I was clear: Having the opportunity to perform “on stage”, to be social and build and maintain more regular personal relationships with colleagues and clients and interact more intensively with a team was missing and would continue to do so.

Hence in early 2017 after 4.5 years I felt that something new could well come-up. I realized that I was much less constrained in my thinking and really considered different options to do something else with my professional life. 

A call to go back

It was precisely in that period when a very interesting “coincidence” occurred. I called a headhunter whom I knew quite well and asked for a dinner appointment just to get in touch and up to speed about what had been happening out there in the job market. Also, I appreciated his views as an honest sparring partner.

We agreed a date and time and met two weeks later. When I asked him, why he was in town, he said he had two mandates from a client I should know well. In fact, he was looking to fill two positions at Open Grid Europe, my current employer.

It was ironic. After having experienced all of what I described above I was discussing a job opportunity at a company which was a direct successor of my first employer after university (Ruhrgas). Should I really do that? Would it not be like going “back to square one”? Would I lightly give up the intensity and flexibility I had experienced?

The job on offer (my current job while writing this) offered development opportunities, it offered “stage”, it allowed me to work with a team and it was a much smaller setting than a big corporate group. I thought it through and decided to make a lot of it dependent on my interview with my potential future boss, the CEO. At the end of the day, we all really work for people and not corporations…

So, I declared my interest, had my interviews and “the rest is history”.

In my first two weeks at OGE I had 1:1s with everyone in my team to get to know them and their ideas for the future of the company and the team.

In one of these meetings, a team member asked me: “Can I ask you something? You have had your own successful company. You have been your boss, with total freedom and flexibility and no slow or cumbersome organization. And now you joined this conservative company with big plans. Are you not afraid that you may just get frustrated with the organization and cannot do or achieve what you came for?”.

I remember my answer very well:

“I came here because I believe that I can be good at this job and there are positive things to do and achieve here. If I did not have that believe, I would not have joined. But you might be right. Maybe I do find out that it does not go as planned. Then I will leave and do something else”.

That answer left my colleague rather stunned. In parts of the energy business and maybe infrastructure companies in particular, it is still very uncommon to change companies.

But through everything I had gone through I gained the confidence that you can make many things work and that this is a free world with tons of opportunities. I would never have given this answer with such confidence five years earlier.

I have been in my current position for a little over three years now and have not regretted it so far. What the future holds remains to be seen.

Lesson’s learned

These are my personal takeaways from everything I have experienced and seen over the past years (some of which is described herein). They are based on much more than what is written here. Many things are too personal or too long to explain.

• Self-confidence and self-worth come first and foremost from within. Making yourself dependent on what others think of you or of what you do will only make you unhappy.
• There is a big difference between being self-aware and self-confident. I was the latter and gained insights in the former.
• It is more important to be who you are or were meant to be than what you do.
• Personal success with direct feedback, like winning a big contract with direct financial impact on your personal account is very rewarding and allows to feel proud of yourself.
• Do not be scared. With hard work, dedication, and confidence you can make many things happen. I would now have the confidence to be able to start-up another company, of course based on a convincing USP. Who knows what will happen…?
• Respect entrepreneurs and self-employed people, for they are an important backbone of the economy and bear personal risk, sometimes existential risk!
• Be sensitive and respect other people who are going through difficult times. You have not walked in their shoes and what might look as complaining on a high level from the outside might personally be extremely hard and a painful experience to them.
• Be realistic about your network – for many people you are a company, a service provider, a nice chap to do business with. That is entirely ok. But there are always people around you who care for you, appreciate you as an individual. Cherish these important fellows who accompany you along the way (and try to be one too).

 A big thank you

The biggest and most important thank you I owe to my family. They were all impacted by my journey and decisions and stood by me.

Additionally, there are a few individuals who were always there for me during my active time in and for global gas partners, with their time, council and advise and who put a mirror up when I could not see things for myself.

Thank you, Peter, Jochen, John, Robert, Boaz, Matthew, Bj?rn and Irfan. You know who you are…

R.I.P.