Baby Reindeer, meet Corporate Reindeer

The latest binge-watching craze filling up our social media feeds is a dramatic Netflix mini-series based on true events. Netflix describes it as “when a struggling comedian shows one act of kindness to a vulnerable woman, it sparks a suffocating obsession which threatens to wreck both their lives.” On the surface, it presents itself as a story about stalking and a theme of ‘no good deed goes unpunished’. However, it is so much more. Stop now to avoid spoilers as it’s worth a watch.

With the main character being an aspiring comedian, the story starts out deceptively lighthearted. However, as each episode passes, the layers and backstories become increasingly dark. How dark can it be when the protagonist finds humor in all. Apparently, very. Especially when you consider that humor is a common response to trauma. As the common saying goes, ‘if you can’t laugh, you’ll cry’. Experiences of even supporting characters shine a light on often hidden events in our society. I was completely unprepared for the emotions and personal reflection it would evoke.

Although there has been growing coverage in the news around fans of the show seeking to identify the real-life characters , and some backlash around the portrayal of queerness , the show made me more introspective. The theme of projection and how our past experiences, especially our trauma, form our ways of interaction with the world stood out to me. It got me thinking particularly about interactions in the workplace.

I’ve had my own personal experiences that allowed me to relate deeply to the story of Donny. Watching him carry his own trauma experiences, almost defining himself by it, in every interaction was like looking in a mirror. Many of these interactions took place at his place of work. In fact, the key events in the story occurred in work-related situations. The original traumatic event was essentially an exploitation with a promise of professional support. The beginnings of the toxic relationship with Martha, the stalker, began at Donny’s place of work. The assault on Donny and his girlfriend happened at the same place. As well as cringe-worthy scenes where Donny tolerated relentless hazing from his colleagues at the bar, born out of his desperation for validation.

How can we avoid being defined by our past at work? Biases exist, and methods to avoid in the workplace are widely discussed.? But what about recognizing and navigating trauma responses? First step is awareness. This includes having empathy and the openness to recognize it in others even if they may not be comfortable sharing. Trauma responses can show up in professional settings in many ways. They can often look like:

●????? Over-sharing

●????? Over-explaining

●????? Trauma dumping

●????? Hyper-independence

●????? People-pleasing

●????? Constant busyness

●????? Playing the victim

The next step would be to promote conversations that work to fostering an environment of psychological safety. Healthcare plans that include therapy services, offering of mental health days, and a general prioritization of mental health will also go far. Resources on how best to navigate this delicate topic are plentiful; I’ve found the following most helpful:

●????10 Things You Didn't Know Were Trauma Responses

●???6 Supportive Ways to Address Trauma that Shows up at Work

●???We Need Trauma-Informed Workplaces

●???When Trauma Is Triggered at Work

●???Workplace trauma can affect anyone in any occupation. How can we deal with it?

●???How to recognize if trauma is affecting you at work, and how to manage it

●???The Role of Leadership in Handling Trauma Responses at Work

There is so much more that can be said on the subject, particularly from mental health experts. Through education and awareness, we have the potential to become more empathetic and effective. There are added benefits around productivity, employee engagement, and retention that can also contribute to the bottom line of any business. We as leaders need to acknowledge each member of our team comes with their own past experiences, and this requires actively creating a framework to support those diverse backgrounds.

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