Azure sucks

This is a work-in-progress living document which I will update from time to time with my day-to-day experiences from using Azure.

Finding problems, ranting about them, and presenting them in a funny way is a performance art perfected by Bryan Lunduke famous for his infamous "Linux sucks" series. There is nothing funny expected here though.

This is very biased, as Azure is the primary cloud system I use on a regular basis. I have experience working in detail with AWS, Digital Ocean, and Linode. While they might have problems, crap slow was never my primary concern using these cloud platforms. In conclusion: There is an idiot here, but the idiot is I.

Azure API is dead slow.

TODO.

Azure Function App is unstable

Azure manages to combine being the most complicated platform on the market, and yet be inflexible and cater poorly to many common use cases

TODO.

Azure Storage Account (ADLS) is slower than a black hole is heavy.

TODO.

Azure AKS I/O is crap slow

Everything in Azure that requires disk or network is incredibly slow, including Azure Container Registry but especially their VM disks.

Case study. Downloading a 226 MB Docker image (616 MB uncompressed). No image layers preexisting locally. Download to my laptop, on Wifi, in Stockholm, from a registry in WestEU.

My old wifi card is maxed out at 13MB/s even on local LAN, so 30 seconds to download and unpack (done sequentially) from WestEU is decent.

So how fast or slow is it to download from ACR to AKS in the same region?

You won't believe your eyes. LOL.

"AKS, are you shitting me?" was my literal reaction.

It takes AKS 4 minutes to download the image. That is so bad that it's evil.

EDIT: It turned out that AKS, for some reason the Portal had provisioned the OS drive as a non-ephemeral network drive. Yet Azure claims that an Ephemeral OS drive is the default. Reprovoising a node pool with az CLI fixed that and gave in better performance. It is still very slow, but it can be a limit of the ACR Standard performance limit (guaranteed only 60 Mbps) rather than a limit of AKS. What is slow is dynamic, but Azure, overall slow, is constant.