Awareness and Word Choices in Difficult Times

One thing that I have found interesting since the isolation and physical distancing started in March for most Western countries is the increased stress levels showing up on social media.

On LinkedIn in particular, most people are posting great content that is helpful, positive, and uplifting. But there is a minority showing a very negative side that I hadn't seen before. This past week alone I saw about a dozen people replying in a visibly disrespectful manner for no apparent reason.

I messaged some of these contacts privately to understand what was going on in their lives, and only one replied with "I am terribly frustrated and that's how I show up. What's wrong with being authentic?" to which I replied that it is not acceptable to put people down.

Authenticity and Respect

I get it, this is a very strange time for all of us, even though everybody out there is saying this is the "new normal." When you have to suddenly adjust your life, work, and career amid huge uncertainty, everything is very unsettling.

Perhaps there are people who have unknowingly suppressed past trauma until now or are living in an unhealthy home, and this whole situation is exacerbating those problems. Still though, being authentic on LinkedIn should not be confused with openly showing attitudes that are hurtful to others.

Authentic means openly and confidently sharing your thoughts and emotions while being mindful of how your words could affect others. Unfiltered opinions can come across as self-centered and rude. The key difference here is plain, old fashioned, good manners! We don’t need to say everything that pops up in our head "as is" on social media.

Word choices matter a lot in times like this. Let's build bridges instead of walls.

Before posting or commenting, please ask yourself these questions:

• Am I proud of what I'm going to say in a comment or post?
• How does this sound when I read it aloud?
• Does this show that I am a credible professional?
• How am I adding value to the discussion?

If someone makes a comment that seems "off" or overly aggressive:

• Avoid making assumptions or responding in kind
• Ask them open-ended questions like "what made you reach that conclusion?"
• Call it out but don't close your doors in the first reply, e.g. "That sounds harsh, to be honest, but I'll welcome a kinder reply here or talking about it separately"

If the inappropriate behaviour persists, there are ways to report comments and posts to LinkedIn Support, and even block the person.

Enhancing Awareness

In addition, I'm not so fond of the calls for action such as, "If you don't make the most of your time now, improve yourself, etc..., you'll be left behind..." because they tend to create guilt. While well-intentioned, these statements in conditional form can be taken as, "You're not doing this or that when you have all this time in your hands." It's completely OK to share resources and free courses but not impose them.

We need to collectively understand that countless people are struggling, losing their jobs, and becoming increasingly worried. I believe that this is a time to enhance our awareness and show kindness and solidarity.

If you do have wiggle room to look around you, begin acknowledging people's situations and find ways to be of help:

• Check on anyone you know who has a broken home or has experienced trauma
• Instead of the classic "hope you're doing well!", you could ask "how are you coping with all this?" or simply say "I'm sending positive vibes in these challenging times"
• Tell those who have family or friends affected by the disease that you're thinking about them.
• Ask what specific help you could provide to those who are quarantined, e.g. picking up groceries or prescriptions, gifting e-books, etc.
• Reach out to those who have lost their jobs. Even if you're not a position of hiring, the person may need to just talk things through.
• Actively share information that may be useful to your network. For example, in Canada, there are posts about companies hiring, a database of talented people who are in the market, free outplacement services, and a free job search platform, just to name a few.

Always Decide to Be Kind

Lastly, I want to mention the LinkedIn #DecidetobeKind Campaign created by Shelly Elsliger whom I had the pleasure to meet in person at a workshop she delivered.

Her great idea is all about recognition, inspiration, and awareness on cyber-bullying.

We should all work together to ensure that LinkedIn remains a safe and positive space for everyone to tell their story, interact, and help each other.

How we treat others is a reflection of who we are. Lead with love. ~Suzanne Pardue

This too shall pass! What other ideas do you have on these topics?

Let me know in the comments section and feel free to share this article!

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Liliana Nakamura is an HR professional and Project Manager with experience living and working in Argentina, Japan and Canada. She is passionate about "all things learning": proactively looking for opportunities to learn, developing or recommending training events, and helping people become the best versions of themselves. When she's not managing a project, reading, writing, coaching, or networking, she enjoys traveling, ice skating, and spending quality time with family and friends.