AWAI's 21 Day Challenge with Ilise Benun or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Business

“There is no right way.”

I snapped out of the dressing-down I’d been receiving from my inner self-critic.

Suddenly, I was completely focused on the words Ilise Benun was saying in our latest LinkedIn class. I paused. Rewound 10 seconds. Replayed.

Ilise reiterated, “There is no right way to build your business. There are no formulas, so I won’t be giving you any. There is only the way which works for you.”

For perhaps the first time in my life, my inner self-critic said nothing to refute these words. (And let me tell you, I could get used to the peace and quiet!)

After class, I tried to really internalize what she’d said… but it went against so much of what we’re taught in life. We’re taught that, actually, most teachers and bosses DO have one very specific “right” way… God help you if you try to do it differently.

So, it follows that when you transition from full-time employee to self-employed, it’s a much bigger adjustment than you anticipate. Suddenly, you make all the rules. You decide what your methods and protocols are.

And no one… including that negative, rude critic in your brain… gets to tell you that “you did it wrong.” You have carte blanche!

As I continued to mull over Ilise’s words, I suddenly had a lightbulb moment.

Honing Your Craft

I’ve been a hairdresser for the past decade or so. My lightbulb moment made me realize Ilise’s teachings are very similar to the foundation we’re taught in beauty school:

• You’re in a learning environment… a laboratory, if you will… which is your “safe space” to practice, experiment, learn, and grow.
• You are being taught specific systems, steps, and tips to achieve results. But ultimately, once you’re out of class, it’s up to you to decide what works for you and your clients. So long as everyone’s happy, there is no right way.
• You never stop learning and growing. You are always honing your craft. If you ever wake up and think, “Gee, I know everything about this industry and I’m never changing the way I do anything!” …Well, you need either a vacation or a reality check.

The relief that washed over me during the hours after class was surprising. I didn’t realize what a small, cramped corner I’d painted myself into until that moment.

I’d given myself all these rules and mantras to determine if I was “ready” or “good enough” to be a freelance beauty content writer. And frankly, until that class, I was certain I’d never reach the bars I’d set for myself.

But after class, I felt like I was in control of my laboratory again! I’d gone from Ms. Hyde to Dr. Jekyll… from an emotional, reactive, scared person… to a cool, collected professional who’s creating experiments and quantifying results.

Never Stop Taking Baby Steps

Now that I’d settled into myself and ditched the unrealistic expectations, I was ready to keep the momentum going. I wanted to skip the “slow” part of the class and go “full steam ahead!” on reaching out to potential clients.

But “Baby Steps Benun” saw me coming from a mile away and imparted more sage advice. She delivered this coup de grace: “Slow down and listen for that tingle.”

Surely, she meant the tingle of anxiety I get when I don’t work fast enough, right? It turned out that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Ilise explained that when you slow down, take one step at a time, and then pause to absorb what you learned, it makes all the difference. It’s like letting one coat of paint dry before you apply the next! And if you listen for that tingle in your brain—that instinctual positive vibe-- it’ll tell you when you’re onto something good. Once again, I followed her advice, and my mind was blown.

This reinforced my favorite beauty school lesson: we never stop taking baby steps. Just like hairdressing is a craft you hone throughout your life, so is writing. So is running your business. The only “failure” is an experience in which you choose to learn nothing!

Seeing The Forest and The Trees

Ilise reiterated throughout the course that our business is our laboratory. It’s our place to experiment, learn, grow, and change.

Coming out of this course, I felt like I was the first experiment! I’d undergone a transformation by applying different techniques and environments. I’d learned some things that didn’t work for me… and a lot of things that really worked for me.

That said, I know there are more transformations to come. And that’s okay! Experimenting, testing, and changing are all the hallmarks of a bustling, successful laboratory, after all.

Now, I can successfully take a microscopic view of any aspect of my business and experiment. I can just as easily look at the big picture of my business and see the forest for the trees.

Thank you, Ilise, for an absolutely illuminating 21 Day Challenge! You have a certain “je ne sais quoi” … like a beacon for writers feeling “in the dark” on how to market themselves.

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