Avoiding the negativity trap...

Last Friday, we moved from advising remote work to enforcing it, meaning that our offices are going to be closed for the next two weeks to help reduce the impact of COVID-19.  

Please don't get me wrong it's a great reflection of our values and makes me feel proud to know our company puts employee health and safety as the ultimate priority. Also, being responsible for the broader community and reducing our footprint of commuters is 100% the right move. 

Fast forward to Monday, and I was working from my remote office. While being very accustomed to working remotely, managing teams and also relocating all over the world, there was something odd about how I felt that got me thinking and spurred the motivation for this article.

I felt a cloud of negativity; perhaps upon introspection, it was revolving around the fact that the choice of where and how I work was no longer my own. It could also have been uncertainty on when it would change and maybe feeling a little isolated. A lot of my energy (even though I test as an introvert) comes from interactions with people and working in team environments. 

Pushing the cloud aside and plodding along but paying attention to its effect on me as it manifested ever so slightly in each meeting. Fast forward again, and I woke up the following morning in a foul mood and on my run realised my mind had wandered well past the original cloud and became a bit of a brewing storm. I was running (loose term for any athletes out there) aimlessly on the treadmill with my mind lost in my past, thinking about things I had no control over nor the ability to influence.

Sweating profusely and feeling a bit better for making it to the 5km mark I sat down briefly before jumping into the shower, and I listed five things I believe help me personally when trying to stay positive in general. 

Perhaps more applicable to our current situation of isolation, remote work, fear and uncertainty across many macro and micro levels. 

Most of this stems from self-reflection, reading and prior research on positivity/mindfulness. The subject, in general, is very close to me as it pertains to peak performance and dealing with adversity. 

Own your mood:

We own our emotions, how they affect us long term, and how we regulate ourselves as things pop up during the day. Identifying how you are feeling, in general, is an excellent way of understanding how you choose to react to situations. A great exercise in mindfulness is a simple pause for thirty seconds and conducting a scan on how you are feeling.  

Identifying a mood and exploring possible causes is the fastest way to take the steering wheel rather than be driven by emotion.  

Emotions pass, they never linger, unless we allow them too by negative thought loops. The simple understanding that they pass is often enough to see them change. Another technique is circuit breaking - basically catching an emotion as it appears, experiencing it and then deciding through inner dialogue or voicing aloud that you are not going to let it continue to rule your day.

Own it, feel it, be conscious with what you decide to do with it next is half the battle. 

Communicate more and assume less:

Isolation can lead to loneliness and being with your thoughts can lead to even the most positive minds getting a little cynical.  

It is funny how reluctant we are to call someone randomly to check-in. In the dating world, a voluntary call is almost a cardinal sin. In the business world, if there is no meeting request or agreed timing for a call, there is so much hesitancy in picking up the phone and having a good old chin wag; instead, we opt for an email or a text which becomes misinterpreted. 

With everyone working remote, there are no water cooler conversations, and we can often assume things. Not being copied or briefed on a discussion can lead to an assumption there is a problem, or you were intentionally not included.  

Regular calls, check in's and touchpoints help foster clarity, clear up confusion and remove doubts quickly. Be inclusive in your communication; copy a few more people or call someone to explain your strategy instead of emailing. It all makes a difference in how you feel and how others feel accordingly.

The longer our assumptions are left unattended, the higher the likelihood for a negative mindset to kick in, particularly in our very peculiar global climate today.

Fuel your body for positivity:

We all know that movement makes a huge difference in how we feel. Those 5km runs were just the endorphin hit I needed to get out of a funk.  

Regular exercise is proven to have a positive impact on your mood almost immediately after training and lasting well throughout the day.  

Being outside in the sun for a while also helps. Going for a walk outdoors while taking a call with a colleague is a fantastic way to get your movement points up, your dose of the vitamin D and also be productive at the same time. 

I know for me certain foods affect my sleep (unfortunately a lot of them I love) and so keeping an eye on what you put into your system becomes critical to help sleep cycles which in turn help mood cycles.

Lastly, supplements, there are some natural vitamins, teas and herbs that help regulate mood that I have experimented with over the last few years. For example, studies show a healthy gut can directly help energy and mood levels. 

Acts of kindness:

Often forgotten, this is something I can personally do a whole lot more as it is enriching on multiple levels. 

Sometimes a small and straightforward gesture has such a significant impact on people, particularly when they least expect it. You will be surprised at how it makes you feel as well.  

I once had a friend that lived on the other side of the world, and I used to order them lunch before I went to bed once a week. It took a bit of time to work out initially, but I would wake up the following morning with a sweet note of thanks and surprise, delight and or disappointment on whatever meal they received during their busy day.

Sometimes the opportunity to do something lovely for a friend is as rewarding to you as it is to the person receiving your act of kindness.

It's not limited to people you know but also to the broader community. Say hello to someone and ask them how they are doing. Pay forward a coffee in the morning. Write a handwritten letter to say thank you or as simple as hold the door open for someone with their hands full. 

Gratitude:

This one is straightforward. We are living in crazy times and have plenty of things to be concerned about and numerous opportunities to complain.  

We rarely take a moment to stop, think about how fortunate we are even within these conditions. Most of us have shelter, health and access to essential conveniences (disclaimer on toilet paper).  

I have experimented with gratitude journaling and initially found it tough to identify things to be grateful for each day. After a week of practice, it occurred to me that I was looking at each day differently and consciously looking at things with a more optimistic outlook. 

An excellent suggestion from a friend was to go around the table or the conference call and ask everyone to state one thing they were grateful or appreciated about their colleague's and friends.

Let's face it who doesn't like to hear nice things about themselves and also say beautiful things about other people.

Gratitude is always a great level-set. It is an opportunity to understand how fortunate you are before you choose to be cynical about something.

So, in summary:

It's now Friday. I am in a fantastic mood and am incredibly grateful for the team I work with who have in all parts of the world chosen to stay connected and get even closer. The sun is shining outside, and I can't wait for the weekend to arrive. 

I don't profess to be an expert on the subject matter merely sharing my experiences and learnings over the last few years. I also don't get it right all the time and have to catch myself much as I did on Monday morning, so don't expect to be even close to perfect.

Very interested in hearing thoughts and suggestions on how you tackle staying positive. 

Stay safe and healthy.