Avoiding Misery, Defining Trust, Spreading your Wings Allowing the Wind to Carry You
"I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you."
5:00 a.m. on the nose, I’m up, coffee to my right, fireplace dancing her morning ballet, and my Queen is fast asleep. I had a good day yesterday; I now put a premium on the good days knowing bad days are part of my formula. I can see a day when I return to the no bad days, but that will occur in time; for now, I am going to battle some physical and mental pain.
I have many friends, some of them doctors, they will text me advice, based on my words written in the morning or conversations we have, it’s nice to have friends in the medical field to help me along this journey, thank you, Dr. White.
I have realized something in the past couple of weeks, I thrive when I am busy, and I am miserable when I am idle. I have been told to slow down, take it easy, I’ve got a long road, but mentally, the act of sitting and doing nothing or ending the day with a lack of accomplishment is devasting. My mind thrives on work, problems, and accomplishment.
The last two days have given me the fuel I need to end my day satisfied, looking at my calendar today, I’ll end my day exhausted, mentally spent, and truly happy.
I was in a meeting the other day and was given a formula for trust. I wrote it down, have chewed on it for a day or two, and thought I’d share to get your opinion. The formula I was given was trust = reliability + credibility + intimacy / self-interest.
My take on the formula is as follows. To have trust, you have to be reliable. Do you show up when you say you will show up? Do you arrive on time, do you rsvp and then actually arrive at the event or does something always come up? We all have those friends and family members that, over time, have proven unreliable; if you cannot rely on someone, you also cannot trust that person.
Are you credible? When you say something is it the truth, is it fair, will it build goodwill and better friendships, will it be beneficial to all concerned? Do people believe you when you speak or are they questioning your words, motives, and knowledge of which you speak? Without credibility, you will never have trust.
Intimacy is a tough one for most; do you care for your fellow citizens. Do you want what’s best for your fellow humans, do you have a closeness with those you know or those you meet, how willing are people around you to share their personal and private information with you knowing you won’t share with others?
Divide those three things by your self-interest. Do you put yourself first or last, or maybe do you place yourself in a reasonable position of fairness in every situation? Sometimes we do things that are better for the whole than ourselves; the question here is are you selfish. I think we are all a little selfish, we need some selfishness for self-preservation, but ultimately, one that chooses themselves over the whole will be exposed as a nontrusted member of society.
Think about people in your life and then think, “do I trust them?” I have folks that I trust with my deepest darkest secrets, and I have folks that never get past my outer core. I’ve never put much thought into why I share with some and not others, but I think the trust formula is an excellent tool to identify why some join my inner circle, and some are never invited in.
My mother and father are flying in tonight with our middle child. We will host them through Sunday, my sister and her husband arrive Friday as does my daughter and her fiancé. A family weekend on the top of a mountain, doing family stuff, eating, drinking, enjoying our family.
My parents are turning 80; they act like they are 60, they still get up in the morning, my father takes a morning walk, my mother runs around reading books to children and helping out her friends in need. They still go to the YMCA daily to get a workout in, did I mention they are 80?
It’s a reminder we have a long life in front of us, most of us do, some will be picked off, one by one, and if your number is called, enjoy the other side, I hear it’s nice over there. But as long as you are here, enjoy the journey, enjoy the ebb, both will occur, and both are beautiful in their own right. Embrace the ebb, love it, trust it, listen to it and as you begin to roll with the ebb the flow will return and the wave of love, joy, and happiness. The flow will carry you until you again cross the stream of the ebb, always there, but always with a beginning, middle, and end that leads you right back to your flow.
I “trust” you are having a good morning. I trust you are going to make the meetings you committed to making, I trust you will keep your word, and I trust you will be intimate with those that deserve your heart. Love yourself, but love others more, trust yourself so you can begin trusting others.
"I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you."