Avoiding the Blame Game: Focus on the Process, Not the Person
David Specht
Transforming Leaders, Shaping Futures | Leadership Development Expert | 4-Time Founder & Entrepreneur | Speaker & Coach
Have you ever been in a meeting where a discussion about what went wrong quickly turned into who’s at fault?
I recently facilitated a meeting where we were breaking down “misses” in a project’s process. These conversations can easily become contentious, as people naturally want to defend rather than improve.
To keep the meeting productive (instead of a finger-pointing session), I used three key strategies—ones that every leader can apply when addressing problems without sparking unnecessary conflict.
1. Focus on the Procedure, Not the Person
It’s easy to hear things like: ? “If Bob would just do his job, we wouldn’t be here.”
But as leaders, we shouldn’t be looking for someone to blame—we should be looking for where the process failed.
When discussing mistakes or inefficiencies: ? Ask questions about the process. ? Define what should have happened vs. what actually happened. ? Address personnel concerns separately—outside of the current meeting.
If you allow the meeting to become about people instead of process, you’ll waste valuable time on defensive arguments instead of meaningful improvements.
2. Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing
In high-tension meetings, it’s easy for conversations to spiral off-topic. When emotions get involved, suddenly a discussion about one problem turns into five different debates.
To avoid this:
This keeps the discussion focused and ensures that improvement remains the goal—not personal grievances.
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3. Pay Attention to Body Language
Meetings like these are often dominated by the most vocal personalities. Meanwhile, other participants—who might have valuable insights—stay silent.
Watch for: ?? Eye rolls or crossed arms – signs of disagreement or disengagement. ?? Chair shifts or leaning back – signs that someone might want to contribute but isn’t speaking up.
When you notice these cues, ask those individuals directly for input. You might uncover key insights that wouldn’t have been shared otherwise.
Final Thoughts: Herding the Cats
Difficult conversations don’t have to be unproductive. By: ?? Focusing on the process, not the person ?? Keeping discussions on track ?? Ensuring every voice is heard
…you can navigate tough meetings and actually fix the problem instead of fueling frustration.
Have you ever been in a meeting that turned into a blame game? How did you handle it? Drop a comment and let’s discuss!
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