Avoidance Is Not an Option: Facing the Pain Before It Kills You

“I’ll deal with it later.”

How many times have you told yourself that?

How many times have you buried the pain, ignored the wounds, and convinced yourself that if you just keep moving—working harder, staying busy, numbing out—it will all somehow resolve itself?

For most men, avoidance isn’t just a habit—it’s a survival mechanism. We are conditioned to shove pain into a dark corner, hoping that if we ignore it long enough, it will simply disappear.

It won’t.

Pain left unchecked is like an untreated infection. It festers. It spreads. And if ignored for too long, it turns deadly.

I know this firsthand.

The Lie of Avoidance

I spent decades pretending I was okay.

• When life knocked me down, I told myself I just needed to push through.
• When trauma surfaced, I drowned it out with distractions.
• When the weight of everything became unbearable, I convinced myself I had no choice but to bear it alone.

I believed the lie that avoidance was strength. That "real men" didn’t need help. That I could handle it.

And then, one night not too long ago, avoidance nearly killed me.

It wasn’t a sudden event. It was the culmination of years of unspoken pain, unresolved wounds, and silent suffering. Years of telling myself “I’m fine” when I wasn’t.

That day, I didn’t see another way out.

But...

I was wrong.

Why Avoidance Is the Real Enemy

Avoidance doesn’t protect you. It traps you.

• Avoidance keeps you in cycles of self-destruction.
• Avoidance isolates you from the people who could help.
• Avoidance makes small problems become insurmountable mountains.

Think about the hardest moments in your life. The things you’ve pushed down, hoping time would erase them. The things you won’t talk about.

That’s avoidance at work.

It keeps you running in circles, always looking for an escape that never truly comes.

Face It Before It’s Too Late

Here’s the truth: What you refuse to face today will own you tomorrow.

Healing doesn’t happen through avoidance. It happens through facing the pain head-on.

So let me ask you something…

• What are you avoiding?
• What’s the thing you know you need to deal with, but keep running from?
• What pain have you convinced yourself isn’t “that bad”?

Because whatever it is, it won’t go away on its own.

It will grow. It will steal your peace. It will destroy relationships. It will eat away at you from the inside out.

And one day, it will demand to be faced—whether you’re ready or not.

Break the Cycle—Today

I’m not here to tell you it’s easy. It’s not.

But I can tell you this: you don’t have to do it alone.

If you’re reading this and something inside you is screaming, listen to it. That’s your wake-up call. That’s your sign that avoidance has ruled your life for too long.

And...

I get it. Taking the first step is terrifying.

But...

So is the alternative.

You can either keep avoiding it until it destroys you…

Or you can face it now and start the healing process today.

The choice is yours.

My Perspective...

Avoidance almost took my life.

If you think for one second that you’re “handling it,” but you’re avoiding the real work of healing, you’re lying to yourself.

I had to reach the absolute lowest point before I finally faced my own pain. I don’t want that for you.

So here’s my challenge:

1?? Talk to someone. Today. A friend. A mentor. A pastor. Me. Anyone.

2?? Drop a comment below. What’s ONE thing you’ve been avoiding that you know you need to deal with? (No judgment, just real talk.)

3?? Message me directly. If this resonated with you and you don’t know where to start, let’s talk. You don’t have to do this alone.

One conversation could change everything.

Let’s start today.

——

Hi! I'm Steven.

My mission is to Inspire belief, build relationships, and better the world...

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