Avoid Showing Up and Throwing at Your Next Conversation

One of the toughest things that we must do when we are coaching people, and we hear it all the time is I do not have time to coach. And, you know, to a certain extent I've poo-pooed that or dismissed that through the years. Let me just share this with you. When you are coaching people, you know, I have often said the real objection people do not coach is they do not know what to do and they don't know what to say. So, the challenge that we have is if we do not know what to do or say, let us be honest, we can sometimes show up and throw up. We tend to show up and provide feedback and talk at people.

The key to good conversational techniques is to show up knowing what we are going to ask, knowing what we are focused on, prepared to truly listen (actively listen), and really avoid language that triggers. Let me give you an example.

“You know, Bob, you're really doing a great job, but where I'm really , that is much different than, you ???“ Bob here are the three areas that I think you do are extremely well and I think about you raising your game in the following so that becomes one of your strengths. Wouldn't you react to number two more favorably.

What we tend to do is not think about what we are going to do or say or how we are going to say it or what language might trigger somebody. We tend to show up and throw up. The problem with that is conversations have an impact. Now the first example I gave you, Bob's not going to walk away and say, you know, I do not like the way he said it, but you know what he is, right? No, he is going to focus on the way I said it and he is going to go tell three other people. See, We tend to talk about workplace engagement and our values and our principles, yet knowing the way you drive organization engagement, organizational engagement and values and principles is one conversation at a time.

Let us be honest we tend to show up and throw up. We do it all the time. So, when you think about that, we must really think about being conscientious to think about the things that we are saying, think about the things that we are doing, and think about the things that we are going to do. That will have a good impact on people. So again, when you are focusing on people's strengths, the Gallup organization reports, they engage eight times more yet, we still call people into the office and say come into my office. What's the employee's first response. It is usually uh oh what did I do wrong? I have been saying that for 29 years, people still have the same impression which illustrates we are not developing the requisite conversational skills that we need to. Language matters. Our behavior matters. Our emotional level matters. Our avoidance of trigger words matters. So, think about having really a good conversation this week and only focus on the three strengths of somebody inserting the word AND, and then address the area that you would like them to improve. Have them grasp as an opportunity for that to become one of their additional strengths. You will get a different reaction than somebody saying, you know, you do a rather good job, but where I am really frustrated. See when bosses lead with that or coaches or leaders lead with that, people do not focus on what was said. They focus on the language and the emotion. That is the difference in good conversational skills.

Here is our podcast episode: https://www.buzzsprout.com/705024/10858652

Interested in Learning About a Coaching Community called Coaching PODS Where We work In groups and 1 on 1 in a Fun & Interactive Manner: Click here or scan image below: