Avoid These Pitfalls When Goal Setting When You Struggle with Imposter Syndrome

A new year often brings with it hope, inspirations, aspirations that encourage and spur on goals, resolutions, and plans for a better future. Although many can feel reactive to this type of year driven by anxiety about expectations, previous failures around goal setting, and burnout from a previous year or years.

If there is a piece of you that wants something different in this new year (even if just quietly and to yourself), here are some of the things I want you to avoid if you have been susceptible to Imposter Syndrome now or in the past.

These are some of the traps that Imposter Syndrome can set up that make it very difficult to reach your goals and I want you to have a fair shot against them so you can have what you want.

Being perfectionistic about your process.

The Trap >>> ?With Imposter Syndrome, we often have a penchant for perfectionism. This means that when our process doesn’t go exactly to plan, we can often abandon it. So, let’s say we have decided to work out regularly as a new goal and we plan to workout 5x a week. The first week that it doesn’t happen is likely to be demoralizing and prove to us that we can’t do it, which makes it more likely for us to give it up or drop another workout next week.

The ReFrame >>> Instead, start with small, manageable, consistent actions even if it’s not ideal. So, if you are not working out at all, try 1 workout a week until you can be consistent for 3 weeks, and then add a 2nd.

Doing it alone.

The Trap >>> Individuals with Imposter Syndrome are excellent at being lone wolves. We often do things without help – sometimes that’s the only way that we believe that we can take credit for an accomplishment. But doing it alone, it can mean that we are alone with our negative thoughts, the ways that we deal or don’t deal with obstacles and even the moments of triumph can feel like they happen in a vacuum which can make it harder to internalize.?

The ReFrame >>> Instead, find an accountability partner you can be real with. Hire a coach, trainer – someone experienced in the matter that you are trying to change. You have a greater likelihood of succeeding with someone in your corner who is rooting for you, helping you solve problems that arise, and even has expertise in the area that you are working on – it can speed up the process and make success a greater possibility.

No reward system

The Trap >>> Imposter Syndrome rarely lets us reward ourselves, which makes even positive things for us feel hard and like suffering.

The ReFrame >>> Instead, create a weekly goal related to your overall goal and set up mini-rewards for every small milestone that you hit. Remember, no punishing yourself when you don’t hit the milestone. You are better off looking at what happened in your process that you need to alter.

No Plan to Deal with the Self-Sabotage or Procrastination

The Trap >>> One of the cycles of Imposter Syndrome leads to procrastination/self-sabotage as a way of dealing with performance anxiety.

The ReFrame >>> Instead, work on managing the anxiety with consistent coping and anxiety management strategies like regular meditation and challenging Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) and have a task management strategy to deal with the task itself like the Pomodoro Technique - where you focus on one manageable aspect of the goal in a limited period of time (See the book “The Pomodoro Technique Illustrated ” for an excellent workbook on this technique).?

Being Cruel to Ourselves with Setbacks and Failures

The Trap >>> Any mistake, issue, or moment of lapse (temporarily falling backward) becomes proof that we can’t be disciplined, reach new goals, or build a new habit and we ruminate about that mistake consistently which only further exacerbates the negative experience.

The ReFrame >>> A mistake, a lapse, and even failure is an opportunity to learn, to grow, and to be compassionate to yourself. Instead of immediately running to personalize it, try looking for what you can gain from this moment. Is there anything you can take from it that will improve your process moving forward??

For example, the other day, I was doing a videotaped interview for a TV show and I blanked. I felt the urge to rake myself over the coals, but instead realized that the next time I interview I need some relaxation time before instead of rushing into it like I had that day.

Your goals are possible, just be aware of your process (and what you may need to change about it) and how you look at success, and achievement and you will be able to see the dreams that you set for yourself by the end of 2024.

Comment below and tell me what your goals are for the new year and anything you might be working on to change your process. I would love to hear them.??

May your new year be pitfall and trap-free!

P.S. I am giving away the Imposter Syndrome Toolkit and start your new year with the intention and action to be Imposter Syndrome free.