Avoid the "Fluff"...

I hoisted my seat forward, checked my seatbelt and prepared for departure. As the flight attendant announced that all electronics needed to be turned off and stowed away, I grabbed a magazine from the seat pocket in front of me.

It took me 10 pages to get to the table of contents and 22 more pages of ads before I got to any real subject matter that meant anything. The rest was, well, "fluff". There were half page ads, full page ads, two-page double fold ads and then just filer. Material that nearly grazed the surface, gave no real information and simply verified what I already knew.

In the information that I did find, it all lead me to feel bad about:  what I ate, what I wore, how I exercised, how I raised my children and how I decorated my home. Articles that discussed the litney of things "YOU SHOULD CHANGE RIGHT NOW" had attached ads and coupons to help you get started on that "CHANGE", such as beauty supplies, exercise equipment, more stylish clothes and the latest dietary suppliment that will change your world.

I nuzzled the magazine back into its pocket, feeling concerned that I essentially stink as a human being. I should be motivated to put each nugget of information into play immediatly and then ashamed if I don't achieve perfection within 24 hours. 

At that moment I vowed never to look at magazines in the same way. If I want to peruse through a visually engaging non technical medium and escape into self loathing and shame, I may flip open a magazine. 

Otherwise, if I want real information, influential content, and meaningful prose on the things that REALLY MATTER, I will look elsewhere. If I want to feel inspired and encouraged and supported in what I do and how to make life  BETTER, I will look else where. 

Once in mid-flight, I leaned my seat back and closed my eyes in hopes to catch a quick nap. Instead I found my mind racing, remembering all of the "fluff" I had scrolled through as I lurked on Facebook and other social media sites in the terminal, awaiting boarding procedures.

It wasn't the persoanl notations that bothered me but rather the information that was disguised as meaningful content, especially related to dementia care, prevention and avoidance.  The material simply glossed over the surface, giving very little substance to the reader. 

Additionally I found the information similar to the pages in a magazine, leaving a novice to feel concerned that they may essentially stink as a caregiver. They should be motivated to put each nugget of information into play immediatly and then ashamed if they don't achieve perfection within 24 hours.

If a caregiver wants real information, influential content, and meaningful prose on the things that REALLY MATTER, they need to look elsewhere. If a caregiver wants to feel inspired and encouraged and supported in what they do and how to make life BETTER, they need to look elsewhere.

We are all beginners at something.  When we are struggling in moments of crisis, we seek ANYTHING we can get our hands on in the hopes that we can change our lives and those we care for. 

Please take this warning as a precautionary measure.  If you wish to have a pity party for yourself and your efforts thus far, then please, read every article you come across, buy into every quick fix scheme and celebrate silently in the overwhelming frustration and shame you feel.

I encourage you, however, to looking for substance and relevant information that you can use TODAY,  NOW,  IN THIS MOMENT OF CAREGIVING.  Read articles, watch programming, even lurk on the internet... just be mindful that endless information out there can inindate you and cause you to want to throw your hands up in surrender.

Now, tighten your seatbelt and prepare yourself for a bumpy ride.  It's not going to be easy and may even make you feel quesy, but grab a hand for support as we land safely together.