Avoid "Buts"
About a year ago, I was preparing to study abroad in Singapore. I was beyond excited and honestly couldn't wait for this new adventure. A few weeks before I was supposed to leave, however, a friend asked me if I was excited to go and I responded, "Yes, I am; but I have to make sure I get my student visa, I have all these forms to fill out etc." Based on my response, it seemed as if I was more stressed than excited to go abroad.
In conversations with my friends, I observed that I was not the only one who has this tendency. For instance, I would ask one of my friends if he was excited for the weekend and he would respond, "Yes, but I have a test on Friday that I have to study for and then I have to go to a couple meetings." My friend certainly did not seem excited.
Try it yourself. When you are looking forward to something, do you sometimes think about all the "buts" you have to endure before you get to that event? It's almost as if you're conditioning yourself for negativity.
Those "buts" fill negative energy into your body and soul, and most people don't even realize they're having these unproductive thoughts. Ultimately, your language drives how you think and feel; and that will ultimately drive what you accomplish.
If we become aware of our thoughts, however, we can change them.
As soon as you realize yourself saying "but," immediately try and change your train of thought or think about something positive. Beware of other words that also take the form of "but," such as "umm" and "however."
With practice, you will be able to train your mind to think more positively.
What are some of your tips to think more positively? Let me know in the comments.
#StudentVoices
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8 年But it has become a part of our DNA... :)
B Corp Founder + Former COO | Partnering with leaders of purpose-driven companies to accelerate impact while preserving culture | Strategist | Leadership Coach, ACC | ex-Aspen Institute | Coca Cola Scholar
8 年hi Suneil, Enjoyed your post. Positive psychology has identified effective techniques that can help us shift the ratio between positive & negative orientation. I think the key is finding what works for YOU personally amongst what the researchers say is effective. Check out Martin Seligman, Barbara Fredrickson, and the movement's research, as well as The Greater Good Science Center. If I recall correctly, there are good empirical results for 60 min/ wk of loving kindness meditation; daily reflection on quality of your social interactions; using a positivity portfolio before/after a difficult interaction; gratitude journaling; etc.
Senior Technical Project Manager
8 年Good observation Suneil. Stay in the current and enjoy the moment. Think of "Buts" also as pleasant and part of the journey.
Student at H.N.B.Garhwal Srinagar
8 年Sharp observation.
Analytics & AI for Modern Excel ?? Microsoft MVP ?? O'Reilly Author ?? LinkedIn Learning Instructor ??
8 年I think of the "improv rule" when I'm about to succumb to the "yes, but.." syndrome. Rather than "yes, but.." a guideline of improv is to say "yes, and..." as you build off other participants. It makes you focus on creativity rather than excessive criticism.