Avoid Benevolent Ableism, and Other Actions for Allies

Avoid Benevolent Ableism, and Other Actions for Allies

Each week, Karen Catlin shares five simple actions to create a more inclusive workplace and be a better ally.

1. Avoid benevolent ableism

Since July is Disability Pride Month, I’m starting today’s newsletter by addressing benevolent ableism. It’s a form of prejudice that’s rooted in supposedly doing good things for people with disabilities, but often has the opposite effect.

It shows up in empathetic comments that suggest someone needs to be protected. For example, “I’ll give the presentation at the conference, so you don’t have to worry about the airline damaging your wheelchair.” Or, “You should consider working part-time so that you can get more rest.”

It can happen because of assumptions a disabled person needs assistance.

Haley Moss, Esq. , an autistic attorney, author, and neurodiversity advocate, wrote an article for Fast Company titled, How to react when an employee discloses a disability . She shared this simple but essential piece of advice:

“When offering support, try not to fall into the well-intentioned trap of benevolent ableism, where you offer help when it is neither wanted nor needed.”

Instead, Moss recommends asking how you can be supportive. As she wrote, “The answer might surprise you.”

Image with the message, “I avoid benevolent ableism. Instead of assuming what’s best for a disabled coworker, I ask them what kind of support would be helpful.” Below that is an illustration of two people. One is holding a document, as though to push it at the other person who is a wheelchair user. ” Along the bottom of the graphic is the @BetterAllies handle and credit to @ninalimpi for the illustration.

p.s. You may have noticed that I’m using both person-first language (“people with disabilities”) and identify-first language (“disabled person”). [Read more about this topic on the National Aging and Disability Transportation Center blog .

Share this action on LinkedIn , Facebook , Instagram , Threads , or YouTube .

2. Don’t “try out” a disability

Here’s one more action in honor of Disability Pride Month: Don’t “try out” a disability.

I learned from Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to Be an Ally by Emily Ladau that pretending to have a condition is not the way to learn about someone else’s experience.

When describing disability awareness events that offer simulations for participants, Ladau wrote,

“They might be asked to wear earplugs as a way to understand hearing loss, or a blindfold to understand vision loss. They might be asked to try pushing themselves around in a wheelchair or walk using crutches. Conventional wisdom may say that people learn by doing; but let me tell you, when it comes to trying to understand the experiences of people with disabilities, this is absolutely not the way to do it. A game of pretend won’t help you understand a person’s entire life experience and identity. In fact, simulations often have the totally opposite effect on participants, evoking feelings of pity and fear around disability.”

She also shared,

“I’ll never forget the time when a resident assistant (RA) in my college dorm asked if she could borrow my wheelchair for her disability awareness event — an obstacle course she’d set up in the lounge. What was I supposed to do while she was using it? Sit stranded in my room while the other people who lived in my residence hall treated my expensive mobility equipment like a toy? I mean, don’t get me wrong, life on wheels can be fun. But it’s not a game. I remember feeling like less of a person in that moment. The RA didn’t care about giving me a chance to educate people about my experiences or giving nondisabled people a genuine opportunity to learn about disability. It was really all about letting people get a kick out of pretending to be me for a few minutes. Needless to say, I declined her request.”

Ladau’s recommendation? Instead of trying out a disability, seek information from disabled people. Read books, listen to podcasts, watch documentaries, and engage in conversations.

All are great activities for better allies.

3. Boost someone’s credibility

Because they don’t necessarily “look the part,” coworkers from some underrepresented groups may need support to build their authority and credibility.

Here are some simple, everyday actions we all can take:

  • Use their job titles when we introduce them.
  • Endorse their posts in online forums by upvoting or liking them.
  • Enthusiastically agree with what they say in meetings.
  • Share something we learned from them, giving them credit for their expertise.

I recently explored why using someone’s job title matters, along with these other ways to boost a coworker’s credibility, on the Call In Podcast with Chris Riback . It’s a brief episode, and I hope you’ll listen in and consider an action (or two) you can take.

4. Don’t require someone to provide their pronouns

After reading my June 21st newsletter , where I explored gathering pronouns respectfully, subscriber Cassandra Dunn sent in a follow-up question. With her permission, I’m sharing it with all of you.

Dunn wrote,

“We sign students up for graduation and ask for lots of information for planning purposes. It’s a small ceremony personalized for each student. We ask students for their pronouns, the proper pronunciation of their name (even if it seems obvious), and other personal preferences. This allows the emcee to use the right pronoun during the ceremony. It’s a required field on a Google form. Should it be changed to be optional?”

I appreciate their thoughtfulness in gathering this information.

To be even more inclusive, I encouraged Dunn to make the pronoun field optional, along with an explanation that if a pronoun isn’t provided, the emcee will use the student’s first name instead.

As allies, we can play a significant role in creating a safe and inclusive environment. Let’s remember that not everyone is comfortable sharing their pronouns or having them used in a large setting.

5. Community Spotlight: Use literal language instead of figurative phrases

This week’s spotlight on an ally action from the Better Allies community is from Karen Hansen, who wrote,

“Here’s another reason to use inclusive language: Words and phrases like ‘blind review’ and ‘whitelist,’ in addition to being problematic from an inclusivity perspective, are figurative. You have to be ‘in the know’ to understand them. This can make them harder to understand for people, including English language learners, people from different cultural backgrounds than where these phrases originated, and neurodivergent people.”

Hansen added, “Using more literal language like ‘anonymous review’ and ‘allowed list’ is not only more inclusive but also clearer and more accessible!”

If you’ve taken a step towards being a better ally, please reply to this email and tell me about it. And mention if I can quote you by name or credit you anonymously in an upcoming newsletter. Your actions matter, and I love sharing them widely.


That’s all for this week. I wish you strength and safety as we all move forward.

— Karen Catlin (she/her), author of the Better Allies? book series

Copyright ? 2024 Karen Catlin. All rights reserved.


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Donna Petherbridge, Ed.D. (she/her)

Vice Provost at North Carolina State University

4 个月

Excellent advice :-)

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