Autism and pampering your child - Does it really help your child?

Where do you draw that fine line between pampering and showering with love and care?

These days pampering really plays a huge hurdle in bringing up NT kids.

How this can come in the way of autistic kids !

Is it a “guilt “ feeling that plays a vital role in the pampering of your son or daughter?

I don’t know though I believe it could be the reason!

The eminent psychiatrist Alfred Adler says:

“I believe [pampering children] is one of the greatest evils of mankind.”

While this may be an extreme viewpoint, it holds true with today's modern parenting.

Mothers ( mostly ) are and to a large extent father's too are equally to blame.

I know a mother of a 40 plus old ageing adult who says " my son won't even lift a glass of water "!

I do not endorse such a " mother superior " attitude.

I told her dryly : make him independent.

That would be the greatest love you would have showered if he can do all his chores himself.

Grandparents are a great source of pampering. To them their love flows in their over indulging and your child soon knows to take advantage of their misplaced love.

A pampered child soon becomes a “demanding” child and a “terror” in the family.

If you carefully observe, he or she stops at nothing and wants everything.

Pampering soon leads to tantrums, refusal to do anything including school work, refuses to get out of bed early and learns countless other tricks to dominate his hapless parents into giving in to his endless needs and demands.

Pampering, ultimately, leads to tyranny.

In their misguided desire to be “loving” to their children, some parents will sacrifice everything to give them what they think the children need.

And by the time the parents realise the blunder and their child’s terror, it’s too late coz your child has learnt a behaviour.

Trust me, such ‘ behaviours ‘ are very very difficult to ‘ unlearn’.

Why blame your child later when you yourself are ( ir)responsible?

Remember, pampering is a pathway to failure laid by you for your child.

All his life !

AK Kundra

2021