Autism and the Automatic “No!”

With autism, transitions and shifts of attention are difficult, surprises are generally unwelcome, and predictability and sameness are comforting. So, it is not surprising that "No!" is a common response to instructions or suggestions that involve a change of focus or activity. Since this resistance is often immediate and reflexive, I refer to it as “The Automatic No." At times it seems almost like a startle response.? View it as a defensive reaction that may or may not signal a solid refusal. ???Try to interpret and accept it as if the child is saying, “Wait a minute, what!?"? instead of “No!”

The automatic "no" often leads to missed opportunities when a child says "no" to something she would have enjoyed. It initiates power struggles when an adult must insist that the child complies, and it interferes with new learning.

I believe it is best to avoid insisting on an immediate response from a child with autism when a change is required. Many people have learned that an advance warning such as, "Two minutes until..." can be very helpful. ?Sometimes providing an announcement of, and exposure to a coming expectation, without any pressure to conform right now, can smooth the transition.

Here are some examples from two of my books:

Excerpt from Building Communication and Independence for Children Across the Autism Spectrum: Strategies to Address Minimal Language, Echolalia and Behavior:?

1. Introducing a new expectation during an individual instruction session: “Here is a game (as you just show the game box) we will look at later.” Set it aside and do a familiar activity.

Later: “Let's look at this game” (as you take out pieces, handle them together, and put them back, or perhaps set them up for the start of the game).

You may need to help or even take the turns for both of you the first time you play the game. For many autistic children losing a game is not an acceptable outcome, but that is a different problem, addressed in a different part of the book.

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2. “I'm going to the library at 2:00. You can come if you want” or, “You need to come with me.”

“It's 1:30 now. I'm going to the library at 2:00. You can come if you want/ need to come.”? (Put out his coat and library books).

"It's 2:00. Let's go to the library" as you hand him his coat.

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3. “Ben will be joining us for speech therapy next week. Here is a picture of him with your favorite game. He will bring that game to play with us”.? Keep the picture in sight, mention it a few times and maybe even put Ben’s picture on the therapy session schedule the day he is coming.? Of course, including new activities on a visual schedule is nearly always a good idea.

Also,

Excerpt from Autism, Echolalia, and Sometimes, Blindness: A Practical Guide to Conventional Communication

?·?????? Think about directions before you give them. Is it necessary to tell the child what to do or could you just give him the materials to do it?

·?????? Try to word your instructions so they will sound like the child is directing herself. Then the words will still be accurate if she echoes them to remind herself. Some examples include:

Let’s pick up.

The books go on the shelf.

Going outdoors; need shoes.

Time to use the potty.

Lunch is ready.

It’s bath time.

Gotta wash hands.

Worded this way, especially for echolalic children, the instructions are easier to understand than something like “Can you put on your shoes?” Spoken in a non-commanding tone of voice, they also help deflect the “automatic no.” “Let’s...” and “Time to...” are especially helpful in lots of situations. They imply (as they should) that you are a partner and are going to help.

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Avoid “If you don’t…then you can’t…” which is especially likely to elicit anxiety and resistance among children with autism.

Remember, the ?Automatic “No!”? is often a self-protective response to a transition, perhaps because the coming expectation is unfamiliar, or because the child can’t readily break away from his current activity.? Don’t take it personally. Provide support.

The two books mentioned can be found on amazon at:

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=elizabeth+ives+field&crid=1R4T2MSL9Q5OJ&sprefix=%2Caps%2C78&ref=nb_sb_ss_recent_1_0_recent