Authority: How to Develop Gratitude

In three minutes, you will discover how Gratitude prevents manipulation, manages stress and is the cornerstone of Authority. By the end of this article, you will identify what kind of Gratitude you express within the five behaviour traits of Authority.

Fearless 

When we talk about Authority, Gratitude is not something that we would associate.

In fact, we would laugh at this suggestion.

Those so-called Grateful people are the inauthentic, brown nosing sycophants littered around the workplace.

Those so-called Grateful people are the tree hugging hippies who ‘think on a higher level of existence’ because they’ve unlocked their 69th chakra.

Even a person saying ‘Thank You’, one too many times, can leave us suspicious and distrustful of them.

When we talk about Authority, Confidence, Leadership and Discipline are the words that we associate.

But without Gratitude, that incomplete Authority leaves you open to emotional manipulation.

And Jet Li’s film, Fearless, which is loosely based on the life of Huo Yuanjia, shows us how much that will cost you.

As a child, Huo Yuanjia’s dream was to become the strongest Chinese martial artist.

But due to his asthma, his father denied him from learning the art.

Even so, Yuanjia’s Confidence did not falter and his Discipline to achieve his dream shined through.

Now as an adult, he found himself Leading hundreds of disciples in the art of Wushu. With fame, fortune and a loving family, Yuanji was seen as one of the strongest Chinese martial artists in the land.

But he wasn’t THE strongest.

That title was also given to his rival, Qin Lei. A privilege that Yuanjia’s ego could not cope with.

Yuanjia’s behaviour slowly became intolerable.

Moody. Arrogant. Ruthless.

He abused the kindness of his closest friend, Non Jinsun, by spending thousands in his restaurant without paying.

He squandered his family’s inheritance, raised massive amounts of debt and employed untrustworthy disciples without vetting their integrity.

But then, one night, the actions of his incomplete Authority gave way.

One of his disciples told Yuanji he was attacked by his rival Qin Lei.

However, the reason why Qin Lei attacked was because the disciple insulted his wife.

But Yuanji, blinded by anger, could not see the truth:

He challenged Qin Lei to a death battle.

Yuanji won but Qin Lei died from the injuries he received.

Disgusted with Yuanji’s behaviour, Non Jinsun ended their friendship.

That same night, Qin Lei’s relative killed Yuanji’s mother and daughter in revenge.

And it was only then that the disciple told Yuanji the truth and reveals that everyone in the dojo knew about it but didn’t say anything.

Yuanji had lost everything.

And this is the problem that Authority has with only Confidence, Discipline and Leadership.

Now, while this could be seen as an extreme example, consider the following:

• How many times has a relationship been killed due to your ego?
• How many times has business suffered due to office politics?
• How many times could a problem be easily solved, in hindsight?
• Could an argument have been avoided, if you didn’t feel the need to be ‘right’?

Yuanji fought for the privilege to be ‘right’.

And now, he was THE strongest Chinese martial artist throughout the land.

It wasn’t worth the cost.

When inner conflict occurs, when negative conflict occurs, it will cloud your judgement and remove clarity from your mind.

That is when you add Gratitude to gain clarity back.

Gratitude is the most invaluable asset you can incorporate into your daily life.

When you use Gratitude, you are able to modify your fears and insecurities and not let them unconsciously leak out.

When you use Gratitude, you are able to have peace of mind on a daily basis, allowing you more time to get the job done.

Yuanji learns how to incorporate this when he finds himself on a farm.

It is here where he learns the value of Gratitude and ‘The Gift of the Present Moment’.

Now, when we talk about ‘The Gift of the Present Moment’, it’s not clutching your birth stone and jotting down affirmations in your gratitude journal.

‘The Gift of the Present Moment’ are the opportunities staring right in front of you and acting on them.

When Yuanji is tending to the farm and the easterly wind blew, he capitalised on this ‘gift’ and took the opportunity to cool his body. And he was thankful.

When Yuanji was about to eat, he became aware of how his meal was prepared:

Vegetables planted by the farmer. Rice washed by the elders. Eggs sold by the merchant. Herbs and spices harvested by the villagers.

This meal was prepared by people who Yuanji would have never met. It was prepared so that he may live. So that they may live. And when he realises the depth of this opportunity, he was thankful.

When Yuanji returned to his home, his Gratitude not only allowed him to reconcile with his friend, but Jinsun also offered to sell his restaurant, his life’s work, in order to support Yuanji.

• Now, how many friends can we say would sacrifice everything for us?
• How many friends do we have that we would sacrifice everything for them?

When you practice Gratitude, you come from a place of abundance, not a place of scarcity.

When you’re willing to share with others, people will reciprocate. It is how we are biologically wired.

So, does that mean we should be expressing Gratitude for everything?

Absolutely not.

Your enemies will always try to plot against you. Try to manipulate you. Try to rob you blind.

Yuanji was forced to enter a martial arts tournament set up by foreign businessmen, who would do anything to make more money.

For Yuanji to win, he must defeat four fighters in a row.

But one businessman secretly had Yuanji poisoned so that he couldn’t fight in the finals.

But despite the unfair odds, despite being poisoned, despite being overwhelmed by his final opponent. Yuanji saw the opportunity of victory…

But that opportunity would lead to his opponent’s death. So he didn’t take it.

Yuanji decided to take another opportunity instead.

And when his final opponent realised he would have died, had Yuanji not held back, he declared Yuanji the winner of the tournament.

Yuanji won because he saw that the businessmen came from a place of scarcity.

When you look at your own social environment through the lenses of Authority, through the lenses of Gratitude, you become intensely aware that everyone around you has fears, everyone around you has insecurities, everyone around you has inner conflict.

So while we shouldn’t express Gratitude for everything, we can be express Gratitude in every given moment. For every opportunity.

Be grateful that you are able to connect with these imperfect, infallible people, regardless of how toxic and abhorrent their behaviour is.

Every moment allows us the opportunity to discover ourselves and change the way we converse with each other.

And that is why that inner feeling of Gratitude is the most powerful skill you can add onto your Authority.

Developing Gratitude

So how can we develop our Gratitude skills?

Chase Hughes, Behaviour tactician and best-selling author of The Ellipsis Manual, says there are 5 stages when generating Gratitude:

1. Burden

• Believes people with gratitude are ‘faking it’
• Depression and worry about future ruins most days
• Doesn’t thank others of repay favours
• Sees negative where others are grateful

2. Developing

• Able to feel thankful if a major event occurs
• Has a small sense of entitlement
• Lacks appreciation for shelter, food and health
• Worries even more if things are going well

3. Positive

• Expresses thanks when it is needed
• Able to see what’s important in most cases
• Will feel thankful when reminded
• Able to experience gratitude for others happiness

4. Inspirational

• Encourages others to be grateful and give thanks
• Comfortable talking about how grateful they are to anyone
• Points out positive in ‘negative’ events
• Able to feel thoroughly thankful while sick

5. Contagious

• Creates grateful people with actions alone
• Creates an environment where others become thankful
• Sense of gratitude is socially magnetic
• Expresses appreciation for others regularly

So what does ‘being grateful’ mean to you?

Does it mean to enjoy the differences between people and to respect everyone?

Does it mean to no longer be fearful of others? Because if you’re not fearful, you’re not violent.

Or does it mean to not compare others highlights, to the lowlights of your own life? To realise that we all have our own reasons to be happy.

To practice Gratitude is to see past people’s social masks and gain the ability to think deeply about their demeanours and backgrounds.

The habit of appreciating these gifts, these opportunities, is easy to develop and will provide you rewards in areas in your life far outside your own awareness. 

“We rise by lifting others.”

Thank you for reading.

Miles Emmanuel